Mr Punch's Pocket Ibsen – A Collection of Some of the Master's Best Known Dramas

[Playfully.] Is that my little squirrel twittering – that my lark frisking in here?

Nora

Ess! [To herself.] I have only been married eight years, so these marital amenities have not yet had time to pall!

Helmer

[Threatening with his finger.] I hope the little bird has surely not been digging its beak into any macaroons, eh?

Nora

[Bolting one, and wiping her mouth.] No, most certainly not. [To herself] The worst of being so babyish is – one does have to tell such a lot of taradiddles! [To Helmer.] See what I've bought – it's been such fun! [Hums.

Helmer

[Inspecting parcels.] H'm – rather an expensive little lark!

[Takes her playfully by the ear

Nora

Little birds like to have a flutter occasionally. Which reminds me – [Plays with his coat-buttons.] I'm such a simple ickle sing – but if you are thinking of giving me a Christmas present, make it cash!

Helmer

Just like your poor father, he always asked me to make it cash – he never made any himself! It's heredity, I suppose. Well – well!

[Goes back to his Bank. Nora goes on humming

[Enter Mrs. Linden, doubtfully

Nora

What, Christina – why, how old you look! But then you are poor. I'm not. Torvald has just been made a Bank Manager. [Tidies the room.] Isn't it really wonderfully delicious to be well off? But of course, you wouldn't know. We were poor once, and, do you know, when Torvald was ill, I – [tossing her head] – though I am such a frivolous little squirrel, and all that, I actually borrowed £300 for him to go abroad. Wasn't that clever? Tra-la-la! I shan't tell you who lent it. I didn't even tell Torvald. I am such a mere baby I don't tell him everything. I tell Dr. Rank, though. Oh, I'm so awfully happy I should like to shout, "Dash it all!"

Mrs. Linden

[Stroking her hair.] Do – it is a natural and innocent outburst – you are such a child! But I am a widow, and want employment. Do you think your husband could find me a place as clerk in his Bank? [Proudly.] I am an excellent knitter!

Nora

That would really be awfully funny. [To Helmer, who enters.] Torvald, this is Christina; she wants to be a clerk in your Bank —do let her! She thinks such a lot of you. [To herself.] Another taradiddle!

Helmer

She is a sensible woman, and deserves encouragement. Come along, Mrs. Linden, and we'll see what we can do for you.

    [He goes out through the hall with Mrs. Linden, and the front-door is heard to slam after them.

Nora

[Opens door, and calls.] Now, Emmy, Ivar, and Bob, come in and have a romp with Mamma – we will play hide-and-seek. [She gets under the table, smiling in quiet satisfaction; Krogstad enters– Nora pounces out upon him.] Boo!.. Oh, I beg your pardon. I don't do this kind of thing generally– though I may be a little silly.

Krogstad

[Politely.] Don't mention it. I called because I happened to see your husband go out with Mrs. Linden – from which, being a person of considerable penetration, I infer that he is about to give her my post at the Bank. Now, as you owe me the balance of £300, for which I hold your acknowledgment, you will see the propriety of putting a stop to this little game at once.

Nora

But I don't at all – not a little wee bit! I'm so childish, you know – why should I?

[Sitting upright on carpet

Krogstad

I will try to make it plain to the meanest capacity. When you came to me for the loan, I naturally required some additional security. Your father, being a shady Government official, without a penny – for, if he had possessed one, he would presumably have left it to you – without a penny, then – I, as a cautious man of business, insisted upon having his signature as a surety. Oh, we Norwegians are sharp fellows!

Nora

Well, you got papa's signature, didn't you?

Krogstad

Oh, I got it right enough. Unfortunately, it was dated three days after his decease – now, how do you account for that?

Nora

How? Why, as poor Papa was dead, and couldn't sign, I signed for him, that's all! Only somehow I forgot to put the date back. That's how. Didn't I tell you I was a silly, unbusiness like little thing? It's very simple.

Krogstad

Very – but what you did amounts to forgery, notwithstanding. I happen to know, because I'm a lawyer, and have done a little in the forging way myself. So, to come to the point – if I get kicked out, I shall not go alone!

[He bows, and goes out

Nora

It can't be wrong! Why, no one but Krogstad would have been taken in by it! If the Law says it's wrong, the Law's a goose – a bigger goose than poor little me even! [To Helmer, who enters.] Oh, Torvald, how you made me jump!

Helmer

Has anybody called? [Nora shakes her head.] Oh, my little squirrel mustn't tell naughty whoppers. Why, I just met that fellow Krogstad in the hall. He's been asking you to get me to take him back – now, hasn't he?

Nora

[Walking about.] Do just see how pretty the Christmas-tree looks!

Helmer