Substitute Lover

She wet her lips again, conscious of a strange heat burning through her veins. She didn’t want to hear about Gray’s sex life, but for some reason she heard herself saying slowly, ‘Carla …?’

‘Carla’s married, Steph.’

Numb with shock, Stephanie heard him swear. For some reason her heart was racing, her nerve-endings pulsingly conscious of Gray’s tension. She saw him move and stiffened with shock as his fingers bit into the tender flesh of her upper arms.

‘You don’t even know what I’m talking about, do you?’ His voice was thick and unfamiliar, and for the first time since she had known him, his movements were less than perfectly controlled. She could actually hear the fierce thud of his heart as he closed the distance between them, so loud that it drowned her instinctive gasp of shock.

‘This is what it’s all about, Stephanie. This, and this.’ He pulled her so close to his body that she could feel its heat; so close that, shockingly, she was aware of his physical arousal. If just the thought of Carla could affect him like this … Icy cold with shock, she shuddered. Instantly Gray released her, an expression of cold withdrawal icing over his eyes.

‘I’m sorry.’ His voice was curt. ‘I shouldn’t have done that.’

He turned his back to her, and part of her ached to reach out and comfort him. Instead she said shakily. ‘It’s all right, Gray. I … I … understand. At least, I think I do.’

‘Do you?’ He turned to look at her, searching her face with hard eyes. Stephanie made herself hold that searching gaze.

‘I think so. You love Carla, but she’s married to someone else. You love someone who’s out of reach.’

‘I certainly do.’ The look he gave her was wryly sardonic. ‘Go to bed, Stephanie,’ he told her tiredly. ‘I don’t think there’s any point in discussing things any further.’

Despite her original claim that she was tired, Stephanie couldn’t sleep. It had come as a shock to learn that Gray was in love with Carla, and it hadn’t been a pleasant shock. In fact, she was stunned to discover just how resentful and unhappy she felt. She loved him as a friend, as a brother—so why did she feel like this?

Of course, it was because Carla was married. That was the explanation! Poor Gray, what a terrible situation for him. She knew how devastating jealousy could be, and he must be jealous of Carla’s husband—jealous and frustrated. Her face burned as she remembered the way he had demonstrated that frustration to her. She had never known Gray behave with anything other than calm, brotherly affection; had never before seen him like this, driven, and almost aggressive towards her. She hated the thought of their relationship changing; of another woman coming between them.

She told herself she was being unrealistic, selfish even, but it didn’t help.

‘I’m sorry about last night—things got a little out of control.’ Gray grimaced faintly as he handed Stephanie her breakfast. ‘I don’t normally let go like that.’

He was watching her covertly, as though expecting … expecting what? Despite her own complicated feelings last night, Stephanie had made a vow that she would give Gray all the emotional support she could to sustain him during what she knew from her own experience would be a very traumatic time.

‘Carla’s husband and I are financial partners in the boat I’m sailing for the Fastnet—that’s how I met her.’

Stephanie knew that her disquiet must have shown in her eyes, because Gray’s mouth twisted. ‘We can’t all love to order,’ he told her, curtly turning away from her. ‘We’ll leave for London this afternoon to collect your stuff. We’ll stay at your place overnight.’

‘You’ll have to sleep on the settee,’ she warned him.

‘It won’t matter for one night, and besides, I’d never get an hotel room at this time of year.’

‘No. London is packed with tourists. Have you much business to do?’

Gray shook his head, pouring them both a second cup of coffee. ‘No, I should be through it by lunchtime, and then we can head back here in the afternoon. By the way, you’ll need a room to work in while you’re here. There’s an empty office down at the yard, will that do? I could show you it later.’

This was more like the Gray she knew, and although it hurt her that he didn’t want to discuss Carla with her, part of her was glad. She was growing to hate the sound of the other woman’s name.

She thought she’d been successful in keeping her thoughts hidden from him until he said softly, ‘What is it, Steph?’

‘I’m worried about you—about your involvement with Carla.’

For some reason her admission alarmed her, and she looked down at her plate, missing the look of brooding pain he gave her.

‘Why?’

‘I don’t know. Perhaps it’s because I know you’re not the sort of man who’d really want to be involved with a woman who’s married to someone else,’ she offered lamely. ‘You’re always so honest in everything you do, Gray.’

‘Think you know me well, don’t you? Well, don’t be too sure, love. The pain of an almost unendurable physical desire that you know can never really be satisfied makes a man do irrational things. Remember that, Steph.’

What was he trying to tell her? A faint shiver of apprehension held her in a cold grip. Instinctively she reached out to cover his hand with her own. His hands were large and well shaped with long fingers, clever hands … caring hands.