Innocent or Guilty?

“I don’t believe we do,” Curtis says, staring up at the judge.

“Well, either you enter the AOL Instant Messenger conversation in its entirety into evidence, with time stamps for both the beginning and the end of the conversation between Mr Lawrence and Mr Donovan, or you do not enter it into evidence at all,” the judge says.

I watch Curtis shuffle in front of the judge and say something to him that no one watching can here.

“In that case,” the judge says, voice ricocheting around the courtroom, “I have to ask the jury to disregard this evidence, and to ask them not take it into consideration during any future deliberations.”

I turn to the jury, trying to decipher what they make of this, but it’s impossible. Just as it will almost certainly be impossible for them to ‘disregard’ anything they hear in court throughout this trial, whether the judge asks them to or not.

12. (#ulink_0e889c4f-c198-525e-abdf-d1aca121cb2b)

NOW (#ulink_0e889c4f-c198-525e-abdf-d1aca121cb2b)

“That was great, Olivia,” Kat said, when the interview was over, and she’d finally turned the ‘record’ button off.

“Does that mean you’ll let me hang around for a little bit longer?” I asked, making my tone as light as possible. The interview had been draining: I hadn’t spoken about Ethan’s case, or the night of Tyler’s murder so much in such a long time, and the experience was enervating. I wanted to crawl into bed and sleep for several hours, but I wasn’t about to let Kat and Ray know that.

Kat gave me a small smile and glanced over at Ray. “You can hang around as long as you want, Olivia, I just think maybe you should give us a list of the people in town who won’t be so happy to see you,” she said, with an arch in her voice that let me know she was only half-joking.

“To be honest, it might be simpler and faster if I gave you a list with the people who would be happy to see me,” I shot back.

Lying over on the bed, Daniel gave a shout of laughter that made me jump. I’d practically forgotten he was there. “Typical Liv,” he said, smiling at me.

“You make enemies wherever you go, or something, Olivia?” Ray asked.

“It does sometimes feel like that, yeah,” I said. “But I can think of at least one person who might be happy to see me. Or if not happy, then at least, not outright hostile.”

“Who?” Ray asked, looking as skeptical as he sounded.

“Kevin Lawrence. He was my brother’s best friend. Still is.”

I’d been a little surprised to find Kevin still living in Twin Rivers, but there he was, languorous smile still in place as he slowly recognized me as I walked towards him in the outdoor equipment shop he was now working at. I knew he was still in contact with Ethan – that they wrote to each other, and that Kevin had visited him – but I hadn’t seen him since I left town.

“Man, this is wild,” he said as I approached him behind the counter, “I’d forgotten how similar you both look. It’s like looking at Ethan.”

“Thanks, Kevin. I always love it when people say I look like a man.”

“You know what I mean. You must get it all the time,” he said, laughing while rolling his eyes.

“Too much.”

“I’ll bet. So, how are you Olivia Hall?”

“Never better.”

He lifted one skeptical eyebrow and let out a puff of air, “Sure. Haven’t seen you back here in about nine years, but you’ve never been better. Are you here about the podcast?”

“Yeah, did Ethan tell you already?”

“Yeah, he asked if I’d get involved and I said yes. Thought the host would be getting in touch first though, not you.”

I explained that Kat and Ray were busy elsewhere, but that they’d left me to approach Kevin about consenting to an interview. Kevin nodded his head energetically, “Definitely. Anything to help Ethan out.”

“Can I ask you something?” I asked, lowering my voice and glancing around the shop as I did so. It was hardly busy, but there were a few customers in there, browsing the racks of climbing and camping gear, the rows of outdoor clothing.

“Sure.”

“Why did you stay? How did you stay? Everyone here believes my brother is guilty, how do you just live with that?”

Kevin shrugged, “It doesn’t come up as much as you probably think it does. It’s been a long time, Olivia. And this is my home. Why should I leave?”

I wasn’t sure it had been all that long, although I was willing to bet it had felt twice as long for Ethan. Being back in Twin Rivers was beginning to make time fold in on itself; all of a sudden ten years felt like nothing, felt like it could’ve been yesterday, but seeing familiar faces aged by the years made them seem even longer. “So, you’re not universally hated and vilified?” I asked.

“Not exactly, no. Going on this podcast is hardly going to help though, is it.” He didn’t phrase it as a question, as if he already knew the damage he was going to be doing to himself, and was willing to accept it.

“How have you always been so sure?” I asked, my fingers worrying at the packet of a Clif Bar that was part of a display to tempt hungry shoppers paying for their chosen purchases.

“Because I know he didn’t do it. There’s no way Ethan could kill someone. Why? Haven’t you always been sure he was innocent?”

“Well, yeah, but I shared a womb with the guy. You didn’t have to believe he was innocent. I did.”

“You might have shared a womb with him, Olivia, but I’m the one who actually knew him. He was always so surprised you believed him.”

“He was?” I asked.

“Yeah, he thought maybe it was guilt.”

“Guilt?” I said, unable to stop the stretch and strain of my voice.

“Because you were such good friends with Tyler and that crowd. I think Ethan just assumed you’d stick with them, when it came down to it.”

“Well, not when it came to murder,” I said, and Kevin raised both his eyebrows.

“I guess not. Blood really is thicker than water, huh?”

I thought suddenly of that pig’s blood on our porch, the bucket of blood thrown over the windshield of my father’s car; thick, viscous and vicious dripping to the ground in malevolent accusation. Shaking off the lightheadedness that shivered through me, I nodded at Kevin before making arrangements with him to record an interview once his shift was over that afternoon.

* * *

Extract from transcript of Season 3 Episode 1 of Shadow of a Doubt [continued]:

Kat Thomas [voiceover]: It’s not hard finding people willing to talk about Ethan Hall in Twin Rivers. What is hard is finding someone willing to talk about him, not only on the record, but in positive terms. Kevin Lawrence was, and probably still is, Ethan’s best friend. They grew up together and even now, Kevin is one of the few people who visits Ethan in prison who isn’t related to him. He was also a defense witness during the trial for Tyler’s murder, but his conflicting testimony ended up hindering, rather than helping his friend’s case.

So, have the intervening ten years changed Kevin’s mind about the case, or does he still believe the wrong person was locked up for Tyler Washington’s murder?

Kevin Lawrence: Absolutely. I absolutely believe Ethan is innocent.

KT: What is it that convinced you?