Michael’s Ark

Dreamer stuck out his lower lip and said nothing. Then he chewed on some invisible saksaul and continued:

“I am not showing off, as you put it, my young friend, I am simply laying out the facts of the situation. If you object…”

Mike started getting angry again, but all of a sudden Moosie spoke up.

“Mike,” Moosie said in a frightened voice, “I think I know who he found! But if it’s HIM, then I’m not sailing with you at all!”

“So who is he?” Mike asked.

Moosie hid himself down in the berthing behind the sofa pillow, stuck out his nose and whispered:

“He’s a WOLF!”

“Who?” Mike asked again. “A Wolf?”

“Yes, it’s a wolf,” Dreamer said, “an old Sea Wolf. Just the person we all need now.”

“Not me! I don’t need a wolf,” Moosie cried, “I don’t want a wolf, I don’t like wolves, I’m afraid of wolves, I’m little white Moosie and the wolf will eat me all up!”

“Calm down!” Mike said. “I remember, he’s an old wolf that lives in the cupboard. You’re the one who asked me to stick the wolf in the cupboard, Moosie.”

“He would have eaten me a long time ago, because I’m little white Moosie!” Moosie snivelled.

“Don’t be silly,” Mike said. “Wolves are dangerous only when they’re hungry. But our wolf is never dangerous, because he’s a sea wolf. And sea wolves don’t eat land moose. I’ll introduce you two now.”

Mike went out to the hallway. The cupboard door creaked, a box grated, and then a hoarse, raspy growl was heard:

“Ten thousand sharks and five points to port! I’ve been sniffing mothballs[34 - Little balls with a strong smell that people put in cupboards to keep moths away.] enough for a hundred thousand years to go. Now all moths will die when they hear my name.”

Mike brought Wolf into the room. He was wearing a short green frock coat with shiny buttons and a white sash over his shoulder with a sword hanging from it. Wolf had a black cocked hat on his head and a big curved calabash pipe in his left hand.

When he saw the ship, Wolf cried in a hoarse voice:

“I’ll be deep sixed! What manner of old hulk is that? I swear by Davy Jones[35 - The sailors’ name for the devil.] that she’ll sink before she leaves the harbour!”

“Allow me to observe, my dear sir,” said Camel, “that such expressions are inadmissible in polite society. This ship was built by ourselves, the genial crew. In making such rude observations, you offend all here.”

Wolf opened his muzzle, then closed it, then opened it again and said “eeeeh”. But since words didn’t come to him, he had to close it again. Mike said, helping Wolf out:

“Don’t swear, Wolf, just tell us what we need to do!”

In a half hour, the ship took on a completely new look. The masts changed places. The high one became the main mast and was moved astern, while the low one became the foremast and was moved forward. The helm was moved back, closer to the stern. White ropes, which Wolf called sheets, braces and lines[36 - Different types of rigging on a ship.], were run from the sails. And the anchor was fastened to a real anchor chain made from Mike’s father’s watch chain.

Wolf carefully inspected the ship, looking at every corner. He sucked on his pipe and growled “Double down on that snatch block![37 - A device to pull things up using ropes that can be opened on the side.]” It looked as if the inspection would wrap up peacefully. But then Wolf opened up the pillow hatch, looked in the hold, pulled his pipe from his mouth and rumbled “Shiver me timbers! What’s a great big horned beast doing on my ship?”

Terrified, Moosie stuck his nose out from the hold, and whispered “I’m not a beast, I’m Moosie”.

Wolf barked:

“Who? Squids in me bilge! Speak up, mate! I can’t hear you!”

“Moose, I’m a m-m-moose,” Moosie murmured almost inaudibly.

Wolf dropped his pipe from his paw, rolled his eyes and guffawed:

“A moose? You’re a moose? Well, skewer me with a swordfish! This is a moose? Ha ha ha!”

“What do you find so humorous about our horned friend?” Camel stepped up on Moosie’s behalf. “He’s a typical example of a young moose. What is it about him that you find unsatisfactory?”

But Wolf couldn’t answer Camel because he was still laughing. Finally he got tired and dropped on the deck. “And what manner of beast are you to be sailing the high seas?”

“I’m little white Moosie,” Moosie said, shivering from fright.

Stick a horn on me nose and call me a narwhal! I know what a REAL moose looks like. Before I went to sea, I lived with my pack in the forest. I saw moose all the time. They were big and brave, and dangerous in a fight! Even we wolves respected them. But this beast looks more like a horned rabbit than any moose I ever saw!”

Moosie’s horns drooped. “I’m little white Moosie”, he repeated, barely audible.

Dreamer came to Moosie’s defence.

“Honourable captain,” he began unhurriedly, “it may very well be that our antlered friend is not prototypical of his breed. However, that does not give you the right to deride and abuse his animalistic dignity.”

Mike came to Moosie’s support too. “Mr. Wolf”, he said, “we respect you as a brave and wise captain, but don’t make fun of my friends again, or I’ll have to put you back in the cupboard.”

At a loss of what to say, Wolf opened his mouth and then closed it, just like before, and then he opened it again and wheezed:

“A fid[38 - A big spike used to work lines on a ship.] in me ear, if I meant to insult him! I’ve seen hundreds of moose, but I never saw a moose like this one. I didn’t even know they existed!”

“If one is uncertain about something, it is best to be reserved in displays of emotion!” Dreamer said. “Furthermore, our antlered friend fears that he may become the object of your gastronomic preferences[39 - What the wolf likes to eat.]. You should categorically dispel his misgivings[40 - Make sure that he doesn’t have to worry.].

“What does he fear?” Wolf asked, confused.

“Moosie is afraid that you’ll eat him!” Mike explained.

Pop-eyed, Wolf twisted his muzzle and cried:

“May a swordfish stab me in the ribs, and the sharks eat me liver! What do you take me for? I’m an old Sea Wolf, a veteran of Trafalgar and Livorno[41 - Famous naval battles that took place very many years ago.], a knight of the Legion of Horror[42 - Wolf confused top French award “Legion of Honor”. But it’s unlikely that he ever got it]. I’m a captain, and I don’t devour my shipmates! If I’m a wolf that still doesn’t mean I…, I… well, I’m a vegetarian[43 - Wolf doesn’t eat meat.], if you want to know!

“What?!” Mike, Camel and Moosie said all together. “A vegetarian wolf?!”

Wolf felt that he had already said too much. But he gathered himself up with feeling and dignity, and said:

“Yes, it’s my rule of life! I don’t eat anybody!”

“That’s great!” Moosie exclaimed. “A vegetarian wolf is the best wolf in the world! Now I’m not afraid to sail with you.”

“Yes…” pronounced Camel, “‘O tempora! O mores!’, which translated from the Latin means ‘Oh, the times! Oh, the morals!’ I hope at least that Wolf doesn’t eat cactus yet.”

Chapter 6. Getting the Name