Mistress For Hire

‘I’m talking about your marriage plans,’ replied Lisa sweetly. ‘It would have been nice if you had proposed to me before you told your mother that we were getting married.’

Tim sucked in breath with an anguished expression like a child who has just fallen on his face and grazed his hands and knees.

‘Sorry,’ he muttered placatingly. ‘But I was in a tight corner, Lisa, and I had to say something. You know my mother. She was suspicious that first time she came round here and found you at the flat late at night, and it was even worse on her second visit. You know how she arrived at the party and we didn’t even hear her let herself in? Well, she went snooping around in my bathroom and found a packet of condoms in the cupboard and Barbara’s tights hanging up to dry in the shower recess. After that, she went down and cross-examined the porter and found out that I had a young woman living here. Of course, when she burst into the party and I was standing with my arm around you, she naturally jumped to the conclusion that it was you, so then she dragged me off into the study and started working herself into a state about it. I could see she was all ready to go out and embarrass me in front of my friends by having shrieking hysterics about how Mummy’s boy had fallen into the clutches of a bold, bad, wicked streetwalker. I had to think up some kind of story to stop her.’

‘So you told her you were in love with me and that you were going to marry me?’ demanded Lisa incredulously.

‘Yeah, that’s about the size of it, although I didn’t really think she’d be silly enough to swallow it.’

‘Well, she has,’ fumed Lisa. ‘And what’s worse, she’s managed to convince your Uncle Matt, as well. That’s why he’s here in Melbourne. He’s come to rescue you from me.’

Tim gave a muffled snort of laughter.

‘It’s not funny!’ cried Lisa furiously. ‘He actually offered me money to leave you alone.’

Tim’s mirth gave way to a speculative look.

‘How much did he offer you?’ he asked slyly. ‘Perhaps we could split the difference. I’m a bit short of funds right now.’

‘You!’ gasped Lisa. ‘I hope you’re joking, Tim. Because if you’re not, that’s the most unscrupulous suggestion I’ve ever heard. Anyway, we can’t split the bribe. I’ve already burnt the cheque.’

‘Burnt it!’ echoed Tim reproachfully. ‘Lisa, you’ve got no common sense, no prudence, no thought for the future. All those things my relatives are always telling me. You’re worse than I am.’

‘No, I’m not! I’ve got years of scheming and lying and double-dealing ahead of me before I’ll be in your class, you little toad. Don’t you realize you’ve made me look like a fool and a tart in front of your uncle?’

‘Oh, come on,’ protested Tim. ‘Just because you’re staying here in the flat? There’s nothing very wicked or surprising about that! Lots of students share digs.’

‘You seem to have forgotten that I was posing nude when Matt arrived,’ said Lisa coldly.

Tim gave another smothered yelp of laughter. ‘You mean he caught you starkers?’ he cried. ‘What a joke!’

‘No, it wasn’t! It was extremely embarrassing.’

‘Oh, don’t talk garbage! Matt might look as grim as a high court judge, but he’s had a pretty wild sex life himself. Women fall all over themselves trying to catch him.’

‘I’m not interested in Matt’s sex life,’ announced Lisa haughtily and quite untruthfully. ‘What I’m interested in is having my good name cleared.’

‘Oh, you’re making a fuss about nothing. This’ll soon blow over.’

‘Yes, it will,’ agreed Lisa. ‘Provided you go out there right now and tell him the truth.’

‘Are you crazy? Matt would murder me!’

‘It serves you right if he does.’

‘Oh, come on, Lisa, have a heart,’ wheedled Tim. ‘Blackening a lady’s reputation, lying, cheating, preferring painting to Accountancy 101, those are all capital crimes in Uncle Matt’s book. I’ll never come out of that room alive if I tell him the truth.’

With a dismissive shrug he began picking up his pyjama jacket and turning down the bed, as if he had no other thought but to turn out the light and go to sleep. Lisa snatched the jacket away from him and held it behind her back.

‘You wimp! You wussy! You pathetic little worm!’ she accused. ‘You’re afraid of him, aren’t you?’

‘Yes,’ admitted Tim candidly, making a wild snatch at the pyjama jacket.

‘Well, I’m not!’ cried Lisa. ‘And if you don’t tell him the truth, I will!’

‘Why didn’t you tell him already then?’

‘Because I felt sorry for you, you despicable little wretch!’ she replied hotly. ‘Heaven knows why! And I thought it should come from you. You’d have much more chance of getting him to approve your art studies if you stood up for yourself and told him the truth. But if you’re too chicken-hearted, I’ll have to do it.’

A sly look began to glint in Tim’s brown eyes, sending chills of misgiving up Lisa’s spine.

‘Wait a minute, Lisa,’ he begged. ‘There’s something else you haven’t considered.’

‘What?’

‘I’ve entered for the Buller Art Prize and the results of the competition won’t be out for another six weeks. Look, I know I don’t have a hope in hell of winning, but suppose a miracle happened? Three years in Paris studying art with a studio apartment and a living allowance! If I won that, Matt would have to take my painting seriously. He’d have to let me go. Or if he wouldn’t, stuff it, I’d just go anyway. Can’t you wait until the competition results come out before you spill the beans to him?’

‘This is crazy,’ faltered Lisa. ‘I know you’re talented, Tim, but every young artist in Australia is after that prize. It’s true that your uncle would have to take you seriously if you won, but, well…’

Tim saw her hesitation and pounced.

‘Just wait another six weeks, that’s all I ask.’

‘No, I won’t! Your uncle has already told me I’m scheming and ambitious and I’m sick of being made to look a fool.’

‘Well, get your own back on him,’ urged Tim craftily. ‘Make him look a fool instead. Pretend you’re going to marry me and let him sweat it out for another six weeks.’

Lisa hesitated and a sly grin began to curve the edges of her mouth. The plan did have a certain evil charm. And how satisfying it would be to make that smug, disapproving Matt Lansdon as uneasy as he had made her!

‘What would we tell him about us once the six weeks were up?’ she objected.

Tim shrugged.

‘We could always say we’d had a fight and split up,’ he replied airily. ‘At least it would give you time to find somewhere else to live, if that’s what you want to do.’

‘Well—’ began Lisa uncertainly.

‘I knew I could count on you, sweetie!’ exclaimed Tim, sweeping her into his arms and giving her a brotherly hug. ‘Let’s go in and tell Uncle Matt we’re thinking of an April wedding. I’ll just put my pyjama top on.’

Lisa’s smile broadened.

‘Leave it off,’ she advised.

Matt was lounging back in the leather couch with a tumbler of whisky in his hand when they entered the sunroom. Lisa felt a spurt of annoyance at the way he had made himself at home and then realized belatedly that he had every right to do so. After all, he was the owner of this flat. At the sight of them, he set down his glass and rose to his feet before stretching out his hand to his nephew.

‘Tim,’ he said pleasantly, but with an ominous undertone in his voice.

Tim flinched at that crushing grip, but smiled gamely.