This Naked Mind

And remember, this is not your fault. You have been caught in a deadly trap that was designed to ensnare and slowly kill. It is subtle and insidious, and millions of people are deceived every day. The trap is designed to keep you a prisoner for life by making you believe you drink because you want to. We will expose the truth.

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LIMINAL POINT: IS DRINKING A HABIT? (#ulink_4463d318-d88d-547b-98fb-0375c2ce1951)

“The chains of habit are too weak to be felt until they are too strong to be broken.”

—Samuel Johnson

I’ve organized the book in a unique way in order to use Liminal Thinking to shine the light of conscious thought on ingrained beliefs about alcohol. You will find the narrative chapters of the book interspersed with mini-chapters called “Liminal Points.” A Liminal Point will take you on a journey through certain, ingrained beliefs about alcohol. I want to deal with these beliefs throughout the book, instead of all at once, to allow you to test the logic in the midst of your daily life. This will allow you to examine what you believe to be true against external sources. What observations and assumptions have you made? What experiences have you had? What conclusions have you drawn?

To deconstruct why we might believe drinking is a habit, we must look at how this belief was unconsciously created.

We have already discussed how our experiences and observations affect our unconscious mind and our desire to drink. Since it is impossible to notice, experience, or observe everything, we unconsciously put our experiences and observations through a lens of relevance that is shaped by our personal needs. From these relevant experiences and observations we make assumptions, and from those assumptions we draw conclusions. From conclusions we form our beliefs. Once we’ve established a detailed framework of why you believe what you believe, I will reveal another perspective, one that may be closer to reality, in narrative form. In this manner we will submerge beneath the surface of your conscious and deconstruct your beliefs about alcohol.

Note: With each Liminal Point we will go through the above steps, so you may want to mark this page and refer back to it from time to time.

Your experience is that you regularly drink. You also observe regular, habitual drinking around you. You assume because of how frequently drinking occurs, not only in your own life, but also in the lives of those around you, that drinking must be habitual. This is an easy assumption. It is more palatable than the assumption that you, and those around you, drink regularly because you have become dependent on alcohol. A habit doesn’t feel threatening. You conclude that drinking, because it is so regular and you are afraid to look for a more sinister reason, must be a habit.

Let’s explore reality:

It’s Just a Habit

Many people justify their drinking by saying it is just a habit. And indeed, drinking may have started as a habitual routine. You went to a party and had a drink, or you got home from work and had a drink. The thing about habits is that they, by definition, encourage your brain to think less.

Once something has become habitual, like driving or brushing your teeth, you no longer consciously think about it. This is great—it frees up brainpower, allowing us to focus on new and different things.

So if your drinking started as a habit, there is a good chance you often drink without thinking too much about it. Over time, drinking became more than a simple habit.

If drinking was truly a habit, when I was pregnant, I would have been perfectly happy drinking non-alcoholic beers. Non-alcoholic beers tasted similar, but I couldn’t bring myself to drink more than one. It was the alcohol, not the taste, I wanted. Similarly, if heroin was a habit, perhaps the addict could shoot up a syringe of saline? With some effort, aren’t most habits relatively easy to break?

Would you allow your wife to leave you, your kids to hate you, your money to bleed away, and your self-respect to abandon you because of a habit? And if drinking was simply a habit, why does the alcoholic, who has been sober for fifteen years, still take it one day at a time? There is no other habit where this is the case.

When we give up a habit like biting our nails, notoriously difficult to do, we don’t feel deprived because we no longer gnaw on our fingertips. We don’t worry we will live our lives missing out on an authentic pleasure. We may habitually drink, but drinking is not a habit—it’s an addiction. Yet the majority of drinkers believe they drink because they want to, they enjoy it, and they choose to do it.

Say I offered you two hundred thousand dollars to stop drinking. Would you? Do you have to think about it? What about a half million? You can buy a beautiful home, but you can never drink again. If drinking was a habit, there would be no hesitation. For a half million dollars you wouldn’t hesitate to break a habit—no matter how much effort it took.

With justifications such as these, we aim to prove we are in control. The fact that we spend so much time defending our alcohol intake proves the opposite. All drugs do this—you try to prove you are not dependent, not controlled. It is the fear that keeps us drinking, and the alcohol itself creates the fear. We fear that we will never be happy or at peace without drinking and that stopping will mean we will feel unhappy—that we are missing out. If you believe these false justifications, even after you stop, when your health has improved and your relationships have been restored, you will continue to envy drinkers. You will believe their reasons for drinking and feel jealous that they are drinking when you are not. But when you recognize that their reasons are unfounded, you’re not jealous at all—you rejoice in your newfound freedom.

Is your alcohol habit truly a habit?

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YOU: SIMPLY NAKED (#ulink_bc760635-50f7-5792-9c8f-6b8c586234fb)

“The most fundamental harm we can do ourselves is to remain ignorant by not having the courage and the respect to look at ourselves honestly and gently.”

—Pema Chödrön

You are the most awesome living organism on the planet. Your mind can do more than any computer. In fact, it creates computers. Your body is self-regulating, self-healing, and self-aware. It alerts you to the tiniest problems and is programmed to protect you, ensuring your survival. It is infinitely more complex than the most intelligent technology. It is priceless.

Since alcohol affects how your body functions, it is vital to understand how your body works when sober. When you are ensnared in the cycle of addiction, it’s easy to forget how competent you really are. You are balanced and strong. You are equipped with two phenomenal guidance systems—symptoms and instincts—which help your mind to understand your body’s needs.

Your Extraordinary Mind and Body: Complex

We learn more about the human brain every day. We are awed by its abilities, and, despite our technological advances, we cannot come close to replicating it. Your brain is capable of more in a single second than I could describe in hours. It can do more than I could ever explain because much of its power is still unknown. We know of nothing more powerful than the human brain. Astonishingly, the majority of your brain’s activity happens without conscious thought. It’s designed to keep us alive and highly functional without our direction. When we are asleep, it allows us to breathe, keeps our hearts beating, and regulates our temperature. Our immune system fights a daily battle against millions of toxins, both externally and internally. We take all of this for granted.

Your extraordinary brain is housed in a body that sustains and communicates with it. Your senses alert your brain to new information. Our abilities to smell, feel, taste, hear, and see connect us to our surroundings. They allow us to function and protect us from danger. Survival depends on our senses.

It’s astounding how far we’ve progressed in science and medicine, yet nothing we’ve accomplished compares to the miracle of a single human cell. And we possess trillions of cells, each unique. Human beings are more sophisticated than anything in our known universe. It can be argued that a human being is the apex of the known universe. It is important to be aware of how awe-inspiring, complex, and powerful your body is. We’ve been created for the survival of our species and ourselves yet with capacity for emotion, empathy, reflection, and compassion; we are able to accomplish so much more than just survival.

Your Extraordinary Mind and Body: Balanced

One of our miraculous abilities is achieving and maintaining homeostasis. Merriam-Webster’s Medical Dictionary defines homeostasis as:

homeostasis: ho·meo·sta·sis | /hō-mē-ō-'stā-sәs/ noun

: the maintenance of relatively stable internal physiological conditions (as body temperature or the pH of blood) in higher animals under fluctuating environmental conditions

: the process of maintaining a stable psychological state in the individual under varying psychological pressures or stable social conditions in a group under varying social, environmental, or political factors

Homeostasis is a vital life force. We must remain in balance to survive. If we get too much acid (low pH) in our blood, it harms our organs. Consider how we take care of a houseplant. We need to make sure the soil is moist but not oversaturated. We need to give it sunlight but not scorch it. We do all these things to ensure the right balance of water and nutrients. We as humans instinctually do this inside our bodies. We sweat when we are hot so that water evaporates. Evaporative water is cooling, so sweating regulates our temperature. When we are trying to rid our body of unwanted intruders such as bacteria and viruses, we get a fever, but not so high of one as to kill us. By heating itself up, our body kills the intruders without harming itself. When we need oxygen to feed our cells, we naturally breathe at a faster rate. All of these, plus an uncountable number of other functions, work as your body’s optimal survival thermostat, helping to maintain homeostasis.

Your Extraordinary Mind and Body: Strong

We are constantly exposed to messages from the media about the fragility of our bodies. Look at how we consume hand sanitizer by the bucket. America spends more on healthcare than most other countries, yet has a higher infant mortality rate and relatively lower life expectancy for the developed world.

We often feel weak and incomplete, yet nothing is further from the truth. Despite drinking poison in increasing quantities, usually daily, we still function. By believing we are weak, we foster the misconception that we need something more to thrive.

We are not weak; we are strong. We represent the very pinnacle of existence, stronger and more capable than anything we know of. We populated and explored the entire planet and even the moon before most of our modern medical discoveries.

It’s a miracle I survived all my years of heavy drinking and am healthy and thriving. It’s a testament to how strong we are. When I decided to stop drinking, I expected to lose weight and improve my health. I was not disappointed—I lost ten pounds in the first month. The real surprise was how my life improved in ways I didn’t expect. For one thing, my confidence skyrocketed. Also, when my body healed, I found myself amazed at the difference in how I felt every day. During my years of drinking I didn’t feel particularly sick, but I didn’t feel physically great either. I completely forgot how it felt to have tons of energy. Now I’m often surprised by how much I can get done, while still feeling motivated and happy. It is staggering to realize what we are capable of when we are mentally and physically strong.

We know more than ever about the dangers of alcohol and drugs, yet addiction is on the rise. As a society we find this confusing. The “Just Say No” campaign, introduced by First Lady Nancy Reagan, remains one of the most famous anti-drug campaigns of all time.

Between 1998 and 2004, the U.S. Congress spent almost $1 billion on national anti-drug media campaigns. Why? Because we continue to see addiction on the rise, and we just don’t understand why. Youth today drink more than they did in the ’80s, and though we are concerned, we can’t seem to understand why the rates of drug and alcohol use are increasing. I believe part of the reason is that we inadvertently condition ourselves to believe we are weak. We believe we lack some vital ingredient necessary to the enjoyment of our lives. We conclude that we are deficient; we need substances to enjoy life and deal with stress. We’ve been unconsciously conditioned to believe alcohol helps us compensate for this deficiency, that it will help us feel strong, uninhibited, creative, and confident. Or maybe we think it will help us deal with the pressures and hassles of daily life.

Your Warning Mechanisms: Symptoms

Now let’s look for a couple minutes at the most common way our body warns us when something isn’t right: symptoms. When we feel a symptom of illness, we usually hurry to the medicine cabinet or the nearest doctor to make the discomfort go away. The pharmaceutical industry has never been bigger.

Imagine you are on a ship, and you sail into a storm. The captain can no longer see the shore or the stars and is completely dependent on the ship’s navigational systems. A bright red light starts flashing. This light lets him know one of his navigational instruments is low on battery. He can’t accurately navigate without it. What if, instead of replacing the battery, he removed the red indicator light? Did the captain fix the issue? Nope. He compounded it.

My mother is a health nut. She ate organic food before most people knew what organic food was. She won’t even take Advil because she believes our ailments can and should be healed through natural, herbal, and food-based remedies rather than with chemicals. Although I ignored her guidance for many years, especially in college when I rebelled against my healthy upbringing with a diet of Taco Bell and Nerds candy, I have come to realize how poignant and true her advice is: We must exercise caution before doing anything that alters our normal functions. It can be terrifying to realize how little we know about the inner workings of our bodies and minds. When we mess with the functions of our bodies or numb our senses with alcohol and other drugs, we act like the captain, inviting catastrophe.

Tommy Rosen, founder of Recovery 2.0 and an addiction specialist, teaches that we have an “infinite pharmacy within,” meaning inside we have every instinct, hormone, and drug we need to help us live long, healthy, and happy lives. If you look at your body’s ability to produce adrenaline or endorphins, you see they are supplied in the perfect quantity at the exact time needed. We possess a phenomenal system.

Your immune system is your single most powerful weapon against disease. It is significantly more important to your health than any modern medicine. Ask any doctor and she will tell you the same thing. We’ve discussed how alcohol severely damages your immune system’s ability to function. Drinking is like removing the red indicator light on your immune system.