The Ogre Downstairs

The Ogre Downstairs
Diana Wynne Jones

Diana Wynne Jones at her finest – family feuds and chaos, magic with hilarious results and some of the most original ideas ever to appear between the covers of a book.Casper, Johnny and Gwinny get a big shock when their mother marries the Ogre. The Ogre is large and stern and not at all interested in children, although this doesn't prevent him from adding his own two awful sons, Douglas and Malcolm, to the family mix. Now the five children and two adults are squashed under the same roof, which can lead to only one thing – war!Then the Ogre brings home the Chemistry Sets – one for Malcolm and one for Johnny. Not that Johnny is impressed by this very obvious bribe. At least, not until they accidentally discover the flying lotion. Then the real fun begins…

COPYRIGHT (#ulink_c10ba9bd-bc14-5c9b-927e-d3c13bc26be2)

First published by Macmillan London Ltd in 1974

This edition published by HarperCollins Children’s Books in 2010 HarperCollins Children’s Books is a division of HarperCollinsPublishers Ltd 77–85 Fulham Palace Road, Hammersmith, London, W6 8JB

www.harpercollins.co.uk (http://www.harpercollins.co.uk)

Copyright © Diana Wynne Jones 1974.

Cover design © HarperCollins Publishers 2010 Illustration by David Wyatt © 2010

Diana Wynne Jones asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of the work.

A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library

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HarperCollinsPublishers has made every reasonable effort to ensure that any picture content and written content in this ebook has been included or removed in accordance with the contractual and technological constraints in operation at the time of publication.

Source ISBN: 9780007154692

Ebook Edition © SEPTEMBER 2014 ISBN: 9780007500000

Version: 2014–09–10

DEDICATION (#ulink_d95943d5-6e4d-54d1-bc6d-b098c251f97d)

For Richard, who thought of Indigo Rubber,and Micky, who helped with the chemicals.

CONTENTS

Cover (#ufab347f5-6740-54ab-9f4e-1e68da6b6487)

Title Page (#u5a5cb7eb-f576-5341-9eeb-0eb1a0f91b83)

Copyright

Dedication (#ulink_2e603df7-1061-5893-8004-3a27663239f0)

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Keep Reading (#litres_trial_promo)

Also by the Author

About the Publisher (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER ONE (#ulink_b39b45de-5339-5bc1-843c-a8cc083dfbac)

Caspar came into the hall one afternoon with a bag of books on one shoulder and a bag of football clothes on the other and saw his brother carrying a large parcel. “What’s that?” he said.

“It’s the Ogre,” Johnny said gloomily. “He’s trying to bribe me now.”

“Bribe you to do what?” said Caspar.

“Be a sweet little boy I expect,” said Johnny with the utmost disgust. “Let’s open it before Malcolm gets in, shall we?”

Caspar, very intrigued, and also quite unreasonably annoyed that Johnny should get a present and not himself, led the way to the sitting-room door and prepared to sling his bag of books across the room into the red armchair. The bag had almost left his hand, when he saw a large pair of feet sticking out from beyond this chair. Above the chair back was an open newspaper and, below the newspaper, Caspar could just see a section of grizzled black hair. The Ogre himself was in possession. Caspar caught the bag at the top of its swing and retreated on tiptoe.

“He’s in there,” he mouthed to Johnny.

“Blast!” said Johnny, none too softly. “I thought he was in his study. Let’s go upstairs.”

They hurried up the stairs, Johnny hugging his parcel, Caspar lugging his two bags. Since Caspar was so laden and Johnny, though smaller, a great deal more hefty and very eager to open his parcel besides, their progress was noisy, and shook the house a little. It was the kind of thing the Ogre could be trusted to notice. His voice roared from beneath.

“Will you boys be quiet!”