A Father's Pledge

“Please, Luke. Think about Ben, not yourself. We can give him everything he needs to become the best that he can be. So please, if you care about him at all, just walk away. It will be the most unselfish and noble thing you could ever do for your son... Maybe when your life’s more settled and secure and you can guarantee that you’ll always be there for him, we can reconsider.”

He hadn’t agreed; he’d never agreed. He’d walked away from her that day with his emotions laid bare. Was she right? he’d asked himself again and again. Was he really being selfish in wanting to be in his son’s life? Ben didn’t need him; that was for sure. The boy had everything, so maybe he should just back off as Mollie had suggested, until he could walk back into Ben’s life and make him proud to be his son. He’d always felt like a failure to his dad and he didn’t want to be a failure to his son, too.

He’d done as Mollie had asked, but still tore himself apart over his decision, until he’d seen the job posting for a handyman position at Flight and it had seemed like a sign. Working around kids who needed help seemed like a good way to make a difference, since he’d been totally unable to have an impact on his own son’s life...yet.

Of course, he hadn’t given Mike all the details in his office that day, but he hoped he’d said enough to make it clear that he regretted not being in Ben’s life up until now.

Splashing cold water on his face, Luke grimaced at the spot of blood on his chin. It seemed he couldn’t even shave now without losing concentration.

Luke made himself a strong coffee and sat at his desk, his mind still spinning. It was seven years since he’d walked away from that meeting with Mollie, and he hated himself for agreeing to do as she had asked. He’d been wrong to stay away—he should have fought to see his son. He should have moved heaven and earth to be in his life... He’d known it the minute Ben had stepped through Mike’s office door just a few short weeks ago. And if he’d been around to spread the load when things started to go wrong for the Jacksons, maybe Ben wouldn’t have needed a special school at all. And maybe not having a dad in his life was partly what had caused Ben’s emotional issues in the first place.

The information they’d been given by the social worker was that Ben had been becoming more and more difficult for his elderly grandparents to handle. Jim was ill and Mollie had to spend a lot of time looking after him, so Ben had been left to his own devices most of the time. He’d been missing a lot of school, wandering around town until supper. Ben’s school had gotten the social worker involved after a local store had contacted them about one of their students stealing candy.

Apparently, things had first begun to go wrong after Carly had died several months earlier. That unexpected piece of information had left Luke shocked and angry. Mollie should have told him about Carly; he would have stepped in. She’d obviously kept the news from him because she was worried that he’d want to play a part in Ben’s life...and he would have, if he’d known the whole story, but he’d never have tried to take him away from them, if that was what she was worried about. The boy had been allowed to run wild and lost his way, and now it was up to Luke to try to instill some discipline into his son’s life, to teach him right and wrong. It was one of the few things from Luke’s own childhood that he could impart. He wouldn’t be where he was today if it wasn’t for the rules and structure he’d been made to follow when he was young.

In that first awkward meeting, just before Gwen had taken Ben to settle him in, Luke had tried to talk to him.

“It’s so nice to finally meet you, Ben,” he’d said. “And you don’t need to worry because I’ll be looking out for you.”

Ben had met his eyes then for the first time since he’d walked into the room; his brown eyes were dark with hurt and anger.

“I don’t want you!” he’d shouted. “And I don’t want to be here.”

The boy’s slight body had seemed to crumple, and when he’d rubbed his eyes fiercely to keep the tears at bay, Luke had taken a step toward him, needing to do something, anything that might make his son realize that everything was going to be okay. Ben shrank away from him, though, and instead of just following his instincts and giving him a hug, Luke had hesitated and glanced helplessly at Gwen.

“Right, Ben,” Gwen had announced briskly, trying to defuse the situation. “We have a lovely room ready for you, so why don’t you and I go find it and meet some of the other children here. You’ll see your gran again before she goes, don’t worry.”

Ben had jumped up to follow her at once. Anything, it seemed, to escape from the stranger who had just walked into his life, the stranger who they’d told him was his dad.

“Why don’t you and Mollie go somewhere private to catch up,” Gwen had suggested. “Then perhaps you’ll understand the situation a bit better.”

“Good idea,” Mike had agreed. “Lily and I will do the necessary paperwork.”

Lily was Ben’s social worker. Luke remembered how shocked he’d felt in that moment. Paperwork! It had seemed so wrong to talk about forms in the same context as planning the life of a child.

“A necessary evil, I’m afraid,” Mike had remarked, noting his expression. “We have to follow the paper trail. Now, why don’t you get Mollie a hot drink and a sandwich before she heads back. You can talk in the small sitting room.”

It had been both strange and strained, being alone with Mollie. She was obviously trying to keep the lid on her emotions. She’d told him what she thought he needed to know: Carly had died in a car accident in London, where she had been working. Jim was ill and without him around their car sales business had gone rapidly downhill and started losing money. Mollie was overwhelmed. Basically, she’d admitted, as she twisted her wedding ring on her finger, she had gotten to a point where she just couldn’t cope anymore, and it was Ben who’d suffered. Taken up with her own worries about business, Jim’s illness and grieving for her daughter, she’d neglected Ben, giving him none of the attention he’d been accustomed to. He’d become cheeky with her, moody, and gone out of his way to cause trouble in any way he could. Once the social worker got involved after Ben’s shoplifting incident, they’d suggested giving her some respite by sending Ben to a school for children who needed help.

“I just hope that I’ve done the right thing,” she’d murmured, breaking down. “But what other choice did I have?”

That comment had set off Luke. “You had me!” he’d cried. “You should have told me what was going on, let me help.”

“But that’s why I asked if he could come here, to Flight,” Mollie had explained. “Now you can help him.”

After Mollie left, Luke had tried to digest everything she’d told him. Why had she kept him in the dark about Carly’s death? And she’d talked about Jim being ill...diagnosed with what, cancer?

Still, he was glad for the opportunity to keep a close eye on his son and finally have some input into his upbringing. And maybe one day... Maybe one day Ben would be able to forgive him for abandoning him. Luke had told himself that he’d done the right thing by leaving his son in what he’d believed to be a stable and loving environment—an environment he didn’t believe he’d been capable of providing—but he’d been wrong. He just hoped that it wasn’t too late to make things right.

Which was why he couldn’t let someone like Kat compromise his son’s well-being. Ben was his responsibility now, and Luke didn’t intend to let anyone put him at risk. He was sorry for slamming the door in Kat’s face, but everything she did was out of order. Ben could have drowned trying to swim in the sea, and who knew what might happen if she was allowed to go ahead with her animal-therapy idea. He’d talk to Mike tomorrow, he decided, and try to make him understand just how dangerous some of her sessions truly were.

Ten minutes later, with a surge of fresh determination, Luke headed outside across the garden to the dining room, hoping he hadn’t missed dinner. The large room was almost empty and the tables were clear, apart from one at the very end of the room, where three children were still eating. Recognizing them at once as Ben’s classmates, he headed across to join them on impulse.

“Any food to spare?” Luke asked brightly, sitting down. “I’m a bit late for dinner, I’m afraid.”

Dennis Baker, a skinny boy with a shock of red hair, just shrugged. “Help yourself. We’ve just about finished anyway.”

“Seen Ben around?” Luke asked casually before biting into a grilled cheese sandwich.

They looked at each other and giggled. “Ben’s never around, at least not with us,” Dennis said.

Luke frowned. “Oh, and why is that?”

“’Cause he’s weird,” explained Dennis.

“He doesn’t go around with anyone,” Dan Kent, the boy on Dennis’s right, blurted out. “Or talk to anyone.”

Luke held back a rush of anger. It was hard not to get emotional when it came to Ben. “Dan, do you remember how you felt when you first came here? You have to try and help new children fit in here, not put them down.”

“We’ll try and help him, then, Mr. Luke,” Dennis agreed. “If you give us a fiver.”

All three boys, including Johnny Cartwright, who’d been silent until now, broke into a fit of giggles. Luke’s frustration surged again. What chance did Ben have of becoming a well-adjusted boy with kids like these around to goad him?

CHAPTER FOUR (#u4bfd1649-88da-5881-924d-3357804c4c0d)

THE AROMA OF coffee filled the air as Kat headed along the hallway. Tempted, she followed the scent to the dining room, surprised to see that it was empty, apart from a few boys sitting at one end of the table. Luke was with them, she noted with surprise.

Dennis and Dan were giggling together, while Johnny looked on in awe. She could see by the set of Luke’s shoulders that he was angry about something; when wasn’t he angry, though?

Wondering if she might have to intervene, she strode toward the small group. She knew Dennis only too well, and Luke’s face was dark with contained fury.

“What’s going on here?” she asked in what she hoped was a breezy tone.

Luke swung around, and for a moment, she thought she saw a flicker of relief on his face. “This young man,” he announced, “is trying to bribe me.”

The giggling stopped as quickly as it had started when the children saw Kat. “Wasn’t me, Miss,” Dennis quickly announced.

“He told me he would only look out for Ben if I gave him a fiver,” Luke said.

Kat frowned. “Is that true, Dennis?”

“Ben’s weird,” Dennis responded. “So why would I want to look out for him, anyway?”

Kat pulled out a chair and sat down. “You know why, Dennis. We all look out for each other at Flight. A lot of the kids here have had troubles, including you. You were very unhappy when you first came to Flight, remember? Didn’t people help you?”

Dennis stared at the table and shrugged. “I guess.”

“So hasn’t it occurred to you that maybe Ben is unhappy and homesick, too?”