The Positive Woman

If you are suffering from a particularly bad attack of negativity, read the above section again and again. You could even photocopy it, paste it in your diary or hang it up in the kitchen to give you an extra-strong dose of corrective reconditioning! Now, with a positive, optimistic approach, try completing the following exercises.

Exercise: Who am I?

Answer the following questions. In the first instance respond quickly and spontaneously. Then, at a later time, review the exercise at a slower pace, noting whether you would want to change or modify your first responses and if so, why?

1. The six adjectives which best describe me are …

2. When I was a young child I dreamed of …

3. When I was an adolescent I dreamed I would be an adult who …

4. The best that could happen to me would be …

5. The worst that could happen to me would be …

6. I feel at my best when …

7. I feel at my worst when …

8. The five greatest heroines I admire are …

9. The five greatest heroes I admire are …

10. My six great strengths are …

11. My six great weaknesses are …

12. I feel good when I think of …

13. I feel bad when I think of …

14. I feel hopeful when I am doing …

15. I feel despairing when I am doing …

16. I give of my best in situations where …

17. I hold myself back when …

18. I would end a personal relationship if …

19. I would give up my job if …

20. I would risk my life for …

21. Most people think I am …

22. When I die I would like to be remembered for …

Now ask yourself:

Who would I be prepared to show this to?

What might be their response?

Exercise: How negative am I?

Tick the response which is nearest to your own reactions in these ‘everyday’ situations.

1. When I get up in the morning, most days:

a) I feel excited about the day ahead.

b) I don’t feel anything in particular.

c) I have a feeling of dread or anxiety.

2. When it comes to planning a holiday:

a) I feel excited and interested.

b) I don’t mind if others make the arrangements.

c) I wonder whether it’s worth all the trouble.

3. I think television these days …

a) nearly always has something interesting/ amusing/ relaxing to watch.

b) is OK to watch if you have nothing better to do.

c) is just full of depressing news and badly made programmes.

4. A friend from long ago is trying to contact you:

a) You’re longing to tell her all about your life today and find out about hers.

b) You don’t think either of you will have changed but it could pleasant to talk over ‘the old days’.

c) You wonder why she is bothering because you’re unlikely to have anything in common, and anyway you are very busy.

5. You are about to go shopping for a new dress:

a) You are excited and wonder what new styles are around.

b) Your mind becomes immediately preoccupied with practical issues such as time factors, parking, which shops you should confine yourself to, etc.

c) You worry that you’ll never find anything you like or that most won’t fit and that you’ll either return home without a dress or with one you have been ‘conned’ into buying – or, perhaps, that the dress won’t really cheer you up in the way that you hope.