Jacqui Rose 2 Book Bundle

Thinking of his daughter made Johnny flinch. After Thelma, the ex-Tom from the sauna, had moved to be near her old man in Maidstone, it’d all gone tit over head. He’d been lucky to find someone like her in the first place and it would be impossible to find anyone to replace her. So then it’d become complicated, and Johnny Taylor didn’t like complicated. He wasn’t very good at it.

All his life his parents had sorted everything out for him. He’d never needed to make any real decisions. Even when Harley was born he didn’t really need to worry, as Maggie had been happy to sort out all the day-to-day care of the baby, and he’d been happy to sort out the cash. Cash was the easy part. But difficult, complicated responsibility, he didn’t know how to do.

The problem was Thelma had been perfect. She was like Mary Poppins, taking Harley all over London; to zoos, to parks, to museums. Making cakes, painting pictures and always making sure Harley was beautifully dressed. And his daughter had been happy. The only other person he’d ever seen shower so much love on a child was his own mother when he was a child.

He’d been grateful to Thelma but Thelma had also been grateful to him. She’d gone from being shagged up the arse by strangers and giving ten pound blow jobs to being paid to spend her time going out on day trips in the company of his angelic little girl.

When she’d left he’d panicked. He’d even offered her ten grand to stay, but she’d been adamant she wanted to go to Maidstone. And there was no one else. In Johnny’s world strangers weren’t to be trusted. There was no way he could bring someone in who didn’t have a life like himself, who didn’t know the score. It could easily mean having the whistle blown – not only on himself but on his father’s businesses as well. There was no way he could’ve taken the risk.

He’d talked the problem over with Nicky who’d told him not to worry. Within a couple of hours he’d come back to him, telling him he’d sorted it. Sorted it in the shape of Gina Daniels.

Harley had been so upset when he’d taken her to meet Gina, who was a world away from the warm colourful cockney character of Thelma. He hadn’t been able to handle it. Didn’t know how to make it better for his daughter. So what he’d done, to his shame, was hand a crying Harley over then and there in the street, rather than take her to Gina’s to settle her in as planned.

He hadn’t bothered going to see her, even though he’d promised Maggie he’d help look after her. Though it wasn’t so much that he hadn’t been bothered, it was just he couldn’t cope with seeing his daughter upset. Begging him to let her go and stay with Auntie Thelma. All he wanted was for her to be happy. But Maggie wouldn’t see it like that. Maggie would see it as him palming Harley off to Gina Daniels and pretended she didn’t exist.

Johnny was a hard man in the eyes of many. Not a lot of Soho would cross him. He was the next generation of faces. But when it’d come down to standing up for his own, for his then, three year old daughter, he’d been weak. Hell, he’d been pathetic.

‘Hiding from someone?’

Johnny turned to see Saucers standing directly behind him. She looked as bad as he felt. Her hair was matted on one side of her head and even though Johnny knew she’d got up with him earlier on in the day, she looked as if she’d just rolled out of bed.

She had the same clothes on as the night before; a short black mini skirt barely skimming the cheeks of her backside, a tight grey top two sizes too small and a cropped white faux leather jacket on. It was clear as day to anyone what she did, as clear as if she’d had it branded on her forehead.

‘Who am I supposed to be hiding from?’

‘You tell me darling. I’m not the one with the complicated love life. My only love sprung from my only hate, too early seen unknown and known too late.’

Johnny shook his head. He didn’t need his head filled with Saucer’s crap now. ‘Do me a favour and keep it closed. I can’t be listening to any of your shit now.’

‘Shit? Johnny Taylor, go wash your mouth out with soap, you’ll have Bill twirling in his bleeding grave. I take it you haven’t seen Maggie yet?’

‘No, and to tell you the truth it’s killing me, but spare me the quotations.’

Saucers cackled and Johnny smiled at her warmly, watching as she took the novel she was carrying from under her arm to squash it into her tatty black bag. As much as he hated anybody knowing his business, he was grateful he could talk about it with Saucers if he needed to.

She’d found out when she’d caught them together after he’d sneaked Maggie into one of his father’s clip joints before opening hours. As he’d been the only one with the keys, he’d naturally presumed they’d be alone there and hadn’t counted on Saucers sticking her beak up from nowhere. When she’d walked into the main bar, he’d been shocked and hadn’t known what to say but as always, Saucers had made up for that. ‘Fuck me, this is a turn up for the books. A pair of star cross’d lovers. Romeo and Juliet in case you’re wondering Johnny, and standing here seeing the look on your boat race, I’d say you’ll be the one playing Juliet.’

He’d opened his mouth to say something but hadn’t known quite what, so he’d stood in the middle of the clip joint with his mouth hanging open and staring at Saucers like some fucking simpleton. ‘Stop being such a bleeding girl, Johnny. I ain’t going to say anything. You know me, I’m all for a little romance.’

‘Listen Saucers, I’m telling you, if this ever gets out, I’ll …’

‘Oh there’s no need to bring your flipping big guns out and start chomping on your bollocks. I told you, there’s no need to worry. I won’t say a bleeding thing; you have my word.’

And she’d been true to it. At first he’d kept her under his radar. Keeping close to her, making sure she didn’t start talking, but then before long he’d found it was him who’d done the talking. Confiding in her, telling her about Harley when Maggie had been banged up. She’d tried to tell him to do the right thing but he hadn’t wanted to listen. ‘Johnny, you need to sort out your kid. You can’t have that sponge Gina look after her. For fuck’s sake, you promised Maggie.’

‘I said I didn’t want to talk about it.’

‘Yeah you might not want to but you have to.’

He’d got mad then and said things he’d regretted.

‘Don’t fucking push it, Saucers. When I want advice of a frigging whore, I’ll ask for it. Until then, unlike your cunt, keep it shut.’

Saucers had looked devastated. She’d been right in what she’d said but over the year he’d managed to push her words and the hurt in her eyes – as well as his promise to Maggie – out of his head, though she hadn’t held it against him and continued to be friends. Worse still, he’d pushed Harley out of it as well, getting on with what he did best; being Johnny Taylor. And that had all been fine until Saucers had reminded him that Maggie was coming home.

Johnny smiled at Saucers as she brought her chair next to him, breaking his thoughts. Without asking she cadged a cigarette out of the box of Camel lying on the table.

‘To tell you the truth, I don’t know what to do, Saucers.’

‘You could try talking to her.’

Before he could answer, Johnny saw the tall handsome figure of Tommy Donaldson walking towards them. He felt Saucers tap him on his knee frantically, as if she was the only one aware of the looming presence of Tommy standing less than a meter away.

Johnny carried on smoking his cigarette as he locked eyes with Tommy; not wanting to break away, careful not to show any weakness. He saw Tommy smile, a dark cold smirk.

‘How’s Daddy?’

Johnny leapt up, knocking Saucers out of the way as she tried to grab his jacket to hold him back. The two men faced up to each other with Tommy standing slightly smaller at six foot two, though standing just as tall and menacing in stature. They ignored the worried glances of the passers-by and stood motionless, each waiting for the other to make a move.

‘What’s the problem Johnny? Don’t want to take me? Too afraid you’ll end up like your old man?’

Johnny curled up his lip in scorn.

‘No, Tommy you’ve got me mixed up with yourself mate. I’m not the one who’s afraid. You don’t see me pissing myself in a corner when I hear my old man’s voice.’

Tommy’s face blanched. The humiliation crossed his face and Johnny could’ve kicked himself. He was fuming with Tommy for taking the rib out of his father being stabbed, but that didn’t mean he could throw that in his face. Maggie had told him in confidence when they were having a heart-to-heart. Now like a chump and certainly not for the first time, he’d just broken her trust. He could see Tommy was still reeling from what he’d said and as he was about to say something else, he heard a familiar voice behind him.

‘Why don’t you just shut your mouth, Johnny?’

Johnny swivelled round to see Maggie Donaldson’s beautiful face distorted with anger. She turned away from him and called to her brother as she saw him start to walk away.

‘Tommy … wait. Tommy I want to talk to you … please.’

Johnny saw the hurt appear in Maggie’s eyes as Tommy ignored her and disappeared into the Soho night, leaving Maggie to vent her anger on him.

‘Maggie, Jesus, it’s good to see you. I … I was going to call but … ’

He trailed off, knowing whatever came out of his mouth would sound hollow. He glanced at Saucers for some help who only smiled weakly at both of them, before diplomatically hurrying off down Old Compton Street.

Clearing his throat, Johnny tried again, wanting to apologise for what he’d said to Tommy. ‘Listen babe, what I said to Tommy, I wasn’t thinking. You know I didn’t mean anything by it.’

‘Story of your life, Johnny. Always saying stuff you don’t mean. Like saying you’d make sure Harley was alright, but you never meant anything by that either did you? Answer me this. Have you even seen her once since she’s been with Gina?’

Johnny put his head down, not wanting to admit he hadn’t, but not wanting to tell a blatant lie either which he knew Maggie would’ve known was untrue. So he’d stayed silent.

‘I take it from the look on your face you haven’t. Then you wouldn’t know what a state she’s in. She looks a mess, Johnny. What were you thinking, giving her to Gina to look after?’

‘She’s okay though, ain’t she?’