Destination Chile

‘Wow, Jimmy can be such a slob, always leaving the loo seat up and used teabags near the bin. I sometimes threaten to not put out, which usually makes him slap on a pair of Marigolds!’ Shelley laughed. ‘Okay, so if Ben is thinking about marriage and you’re not totally averse to the idea then maybe you need to think of what’s missing to work out how you can get to the same level as him?’ Shelley suggested.

‘Yeah, like is there anything you want to know about him but don’t?’

‘Well, I haven’t met his dad yet, but it’s just because of logistics and finding the time, I think.’

‘Oh yeah, didn’t his mum abandon him?’ Marie remembered and clutched her chest at the thought.

‘Yeah.’ I shook my head sadly. ‘She left when he was little but I’ve never been able to get any more out of him than that.’

‘Well then, that’s something that needs to happen. You can tell so much about someone from what their parents are like, and what kind of relationship they have.’

‘Oh God, yeah! Remember when I was seeing that Shane?’ Marie asked me. Memories of being the third wheel as they sat snogging in a booth in a naff nightclub came rushing back.

‘Eurgh, I never liked him. Always thought he was a bit needy.’ I shuddered.

Marie raised her finger in the air. ‘Well, you were spot on, and it all stemmed from how he was with his mum. Seriously it was as if she was waiting to clamp him back on her breast whenever we went to his parents’ house. He was a complete mummy’s boy, and I don’t know about you, but that is such a turn-off. I swear he still kissed on the lips.’

‘Ewww!’ Shelley and I cried.

‘So that is why meeting your potential in-laws is so important.’

‘Okay, so after you’ve met his dad, then what?’

I scrunched my eyes up to think. ‘Well, I guess apart from meeting in Thailand we haven’t actually travelled anywhere together; all of our trips with work have been taken separately so we could cover the office.’

‘You have to do that! Anyway, you’ve got Conrad now – isn’t that what he’s there for, to watch the office whilst you two gallivant across the globe?’

I nodded slowly. Conrad was a blunt, brash Yorkshireman who we’d hired as office manager but seemed to turn his hand to anything that came his way, from consoling sobbing, heartbroken customers to standing his ground with surly maintenance men. He came highly recommended from another travel agency, had travelled the world in a previous life as cabin crew – which was something that I still couldn’t get my head round, especially how someone with his build could nip down the aisles without taking people’s eyes out. Plus, he loved to swear, made lewd and hilarious comments, which kept the team’s spirits high, and he called a spade a spade. He was the perfect addition to the ‘Lonely Hearts squad’, as Kelli called us.

Marie rearranged herself on the cushion she was sprawled across. ‘They say you never really know someone until you travel with them – he could be full of airport anxieties or one of those sunbed hoggers.’

I laughed. ‘I doubt Ben would be getting up at 4 a.m. to bagsy the best spot with his towel.’

‘Yeah, but you don’t know…’

Shelley began telling us about her friend whose holiday with her boyfriend ended in them breaking up over his wandering eye as he was more obsessed with the travel rep than his girlfriend. She had found them in bed together on the third day of the trip and had to spend the rest of the week eating with a kind, middle-aged Swedish couple who took her under their wing.

‘It can be a minefield. People think that when you go on holiday it will be this unrealistic romantic trip and all of the problems they had at home will disappear. The truth is, you bring them thousands of miles with you and they become even more magnified in this strange, unusual environment.’

‘But, if you can’t get along on some idyllic tropical beach when the only thing you have to worry about is applying more sun cream and which book to read next, then you won’t be able to get along anywhere. It is the ultimate test.’

I scoffed. ‘Yeah maybe, but Ben and I work together, we live together and we talk about travel all day, every day, so I honestly don’t think there will be any issues with us going on holiday.’

‘It could be good for you to get some time away to properly talk through all the London stuff that’s niggling you,’ Marie suggested.

I nodded. ‘Yeah, you’re both right. Our first couple’s holiday needs to be a priority on my to-do list. Oh, pass us a slice will you?’

I nodded to the pizza box on Shelley’s lap. Marie, Shelley and I were having a girly night in at Marie’s house. It was an impromptu night as I’d actually hoped I would be doing something with Ben. We’d hardly seen each other outside of work since dining-room-table-gate. We’d called a truce on it and both become skilled at literally – and figuratively – skirting around the thing.

‘So, where’s lover boy tonight?’ Shelley asked as if reading my mind. She was mid mouthful of pizza, the grease from the stuffed crust base glistening on her chin.

‘Out with a friend, I’m not sure where.’ I shrugged, picking off a rogue olive that had found its way onto my slice.

‘A friend?’ Shelley raised an eyebrow. ‘Well it’s not Jimmy as he’s taking some body blitz class in the gay village, which I know wouldn’t interest Ben in the slightest.’

‘He didn’t tell me where he was going, only that he was meeting up with an old friend as she’s just moved to Manchester.’

‘A she?’ Marie’s eyebrows were now at the same raised height as Shelley’s, both threatening to merge into their hairline. I nodded. ‘Your boyfriend, sorry, your soon-to-be fiancé has gone on a date with a girl you don’t know to a place you don’t know, and you’re okay with this?’

I rolled my eyes at the pair of them. ‘I trust him.’ Even after what had happened with Alex, I did trust Ben. It had taken a lot for me to get to this point, but we shared the most important thing in my life – our business – as well as our bedroom, and we wouldn’t have got this far without trust. ‘And it’s not a date. God, you two are so melodramatic sometimes!’

‘Yeah you might trust him, but are you not a little bit curious about her?’ Shelley had now finished off her slice and picked up my phone, like a woman on a mission. ‘Right, what’s her name?’

I laughed at the absurdity. ‘I’m not Facebook stalking her. I told you, I trust him.’

‘You’re not Facebook stalking, we are,’ Marie said, with her eyes alight at the prospect of some real-life gossip that wasn’t baby related. ‘Okay, name?’

They weren’t letting this go. They’d even paused an old episode of Sex and the City that had been on in the background to focus on the task in hand.

I sighed and closed my eyes, thinking. He’d only mentioned heading out in a passing comment, giving it as much thought as it probably deserved. But apparently, according to these two, these were things I was meant to get all psycho, bunny boiler on his ass about. This whole playing games thing was not something I was interested in; having a relationship and everything that comes with it in discovering each other’s boundaries was hard enough at times, let alone adding in this sort of crap.

‘You weren’t even a teensy bit intrigued to know more?’ Shelley pushed.

‘I honestly didn’t give it much thought. He mentioned it as we were both in-between speaking with clients, so I didn’t sit and analyse what he meant, no.’

‘I would have found out the girl’s bra size by the time he’d finished speaking,’ Marie said, without a hint of humour.

Maybe I should be more concerned, I began to think. Looking at their faces it seemed I should be taking this more seriously.

‘I don’t want to worry you or anything, but you did say that he’d been even quieter than usual recently,’ Marie piped up.

Damn, why did she have to have such an elephant memory? That was true, but I’d just put it down to him sulking over not being able to use a tape measure correctly or even that he had been silently plotting my elaborate proposal. Now I was worried.

‘Alice something,’ I said, suddenly remembering that when he had told me I’d thought it sounded like a pretty name.

‘Right, I’m on it,’ Shelley cried, automatically knowing my phone code and heading to the Facebook app, as Marie bit her bottom lip and rubbed her belly.

‘This is silly though, I mean, yeah he’s been a bit quieter recently –’

‘And you’ve been fighting about whether to open a London office or not,’ Marie called out.

‘Well, no, we haven’t been fighting.’ I turned to face her. ‘It’s just been a slight sticking point, that’s all, but it doesn’t mean he’s off having sex with old friends –’

‘Found her!’ Shelley grinned, forgetting that she wasn’t playing some TV quiz show but was actually digging up dirt on my own life. ‘Ah. Shit.’

‘What?’ I asked, craning my neck to see the phone screen. Marie gasped loudly and blocked my view as she leant forward to see what Shelley was pointing at. ‘What?!’

She slowly passed me my phone. Oh God. Alice was utterly gorgeous.