A Cry In The Night

“I know. I just…if I’d just used my head, none of this would have happened.”

“You know what they say about hindsight being twenty-twenty.”

She shot him a grateful look. “Yeah.”

They walked in silence for a while, the only sound coming from their feet on the trail and heavy breathing. “Do you know the tread pattern on his sneakers?” Buzz asked.

“The deputy said the tracks had been—”

“You never know when you might get lucky.”

She didn’t hesitate. “Small circles with an arrow pointing toward the toe.”

“That ought to be easy enough to spot.”

“I didn’t see any when I looked, but I was pretty frantic. I could have missed something.”

Buzz tried to approach this mission with the same emotionless determination with which he approached other missions, but the cool objectivity he’d always been able to achieve eluded him. He couldn’t stop thinking that it was his son out there this time. A little boy who was too young to keep himself safe. A child who still carried his stuffed animal with him.

“This is the place.”

Buzz halted. Kelly stood a couple of feet away, her breath puffing out in a thin white cloud. The night had grown cool. A preschooler with nothing but a light jacket to keep him warm would be cold.

Dropping his pack to the ground, Buzz dug the whistle out of his jeans pocket and blew into it twice in quick succession.

“Eddie!” Kelly turned in a circle, looking out into the surrounding darkness. “Honey, it’s Mommy!”

Putting the whistle back in his pocket, Buzz put his finger to his lips. “Quiet, Kel. The whistle carries farther than a voice. Let’s just listen a moment, and see if we get a response.”

She nodded, then stood motionless and stared into the surrounding darkness. For a full two minutes, Buzz listened to the chirping of crickets, the call of an occasional night bird, the crack of a twig beneath the weight of a fat raccoon, the rustle of an owl’s wings as it swooped down to pluck an unsuspecting mouse from the grass.

“Exactly where did you fall?” Buzz asked.

“To your left. Eddie dropped Bunky Bear down the ravine. He’s had that bear since he was born, and he was upset.”

“Don’t tell me you went after it.”

“The bear fell only a few feet down.”

Shining the light down the incline, Buzz frowned. It was steep and rugged, but not vertical. “You should have known better than to try something like that without a partner.”

“I thought I could get to it, then get right back up. But I grabbed a branch. The branch broke….” She shrugged. “Well, there’s that hindsight thing again.”

Buzz knew all too well about hindsight.

“I’m going to go down there and have a look around,” he said.

“Buzz, what did you just tell me?”

“I’ve got an adult partner. You.”

“I’m not EMT certified.”

He shot her a small smile. “I’m not a rookie.”

“No, you’re just foolhardy.”

“Same goes, evidently.”

She frowned at him. “I guess I had that coming.”

“You did.” He handed her the spotlight. “Keep the light out of my eyes and on the ground below me so I can see, okay?”

Nodding once, she accepted the spotlight. “Be careful.”

The light flickered over her delicate features like firelight. Her gaze met his, and Buzz felt his heart give a weird little lurch.

Kelly wished he wouldn’t look at her like that. Like the world was at his beck and call, and she was right at the center of that world. She was no longer the idealistic young woman who’d fallen crazy in love with him a lifetime ago. She wasn’t the same woman he’d married. Wasn’t even the same woman he’d divorced. The world had taught her a few things since then. Lessons Kelly wouldn’t ever forget. Lessons that had made her too smart to make the same mistakes all over again.

But looking into his eyes, she believed everything was going to work out. The fierce determination that was so much a part of him, the force of his personality, his inability to take no for an answer. All of those things made her believe they were going to find Eddie unharmed. That was why she was here, she realized. If anyone could find her son, it was Buzz. So she’d come, even though she’d known both of them would pay a price.

Kelly had never been able to pretend when it came to Buzz. The mere power of his gaze wrenched the truth from her no matter how painful, no matter how deeply she tried to lock it away. She knew this was going to change their lives irrevocably. And as much as she didn’t want to admit it, she knew from experience that sometimes things didn’t work out for the better.

Trying not to think of the darker possibilities, she watched him step into the rappel harness and loop the nylon rope through the carabiner, then anchor the end to a sturdy-looking pine. She knew better than to notice the way that harness accentuated his long, muscular thighs and lean hips. But she noticed anyway. And the sight of him, even after all these years, still made her mouth go dry.

“Kel, the spotlight.”

She jumped at the sound of his voice, jerked the light to the steep incline just below him. “Be careful of the rocks,” she said.

“I’m always careful.” Never taking his eyes from hers, he stepped backward toward the ledge. Glancing quickly behind him, he stepped down and disappeared over the edge. She could hear the nylon rope humming through his gloves as he descended, his hiking boots thudding against the rocky face of the ravine. Holding the spotlight steady, she guided him over jagged granite, through juniper and the spindly roots of the occasional pine that clung to the side of the mountain, all the way to the ravine floor thirty feet down.

“I’m in!” came Buzz’s shout a moment later.

The rope went slack and Kelly knew he’d disengaged the rappel harness. She squinted through the darkness. “Do you see anything?” she shouted.

She could hear him breaking through brush. Hope burgeoned until her chest was so tight she couldn’t breathe. Please, God, let my son be down there. Let him be all right.

The need to hold Eddie tight and safe in her arms was an ache so deep she almost cried out with the pain of it. That need twisted inside her now, like a knife, cutting her at the very core of her being. She knew better than to get her hopes up, knew how acute disappointment could be, but her heart kicked hard at the thought of getting him back safe and sound.

“I need for you to put on the harness.”

Kelly started so abruptly at the sound of Buzz’s voice, she nearly dropped the spotlight. She’d been so embroiled in her thoughts, she hadn’t seen him climb back up the ravine wall. One look at his face, and fear snarled like a rabid beast inside her. She tried to shove it down, refusing to give it free rein, but it was a cold, mean fear and clamped over her like a predator’s jaws.

“What is it?” she blurted. “Is he down there? Is he—?”

“Easy, Kel.” Buzz grimaced. “He’s not there. But he was. I almost missed it, but there’s a sneaker print.”

“Are you sure? He was there? But how did he—” She closed her eyes, a strangled sound escaping her. “How did he get down that ravine?”