e: A Novel

David Crutton

CEO

pertti_vanhelden@millershanks-helsinki.co.fin

3/1/00, 8.46am (10.46am local)

to… david_crutton@millershanks-london.co.uk

cc…

re… NEW MILLENNIUM – NEW HEIGHTS

Your e-mail I think is coming to me in Helsinki by mistake, but it’s notwithstanding fun to be reading about my chums in London. I was not realising that mountaineering was possible in Old London Town. Most fascinating!

By the way, is there any help we give you with the Coca-Cola pitch? It is a very popular drink here in icy cold Finland, especially with our many ‘groovy’ young folk. As fellow CEO, I am asking my red-hot creativity department to have lots of brilliant ideas for you.

While I am on cyberspacenet, can please you get me tickets for Great Balls of Grease? Mrs van Helden and my good self will be visiting in London at 12 February. We will be packing our crampons.

Your pal, Pertti

David Crutton – 3/1/00, 8.49am

to… Fiona Craigie

cc…

re… your fat butt

Get your fucking nose out of Ms London and explain why, despite your best efforts, my last e-mail went to that pathetic twat, van Helden. And get me two tickets for Great Balls of Fire or Grease on 12 Feb. I don’t think the gobshite Finn knows the difference.

Daniel Westbrooke – 3/1/00, 9.17am

to… All Departments

cc…

re… a new face

I would like you all to join me in welcoming Katie Philpott, who joins us today as a trainee account executive. Katie will be working in Harriet Greenbaum’s group on Mako. She will add her spark and vivacity to an already lively team. Please give her the warmest of Miller Shanks welcomes.

Daniel Westbrooke

Head of Client Services

Rachel Stevenson – 3/1/00, 10.10am

to… All Departments

cc…

re… changes

Sadly, Fiona Craigie has decided to leave us and is no longer David Crutton’s PA. I am sure you will join me in wishing her well for the future. Lorraine Pallister will be temping until a permanent replacement arrives. Please make her welcome.

Rachel Stevenson

Personnel

Simon Horne – 3/1/00, 10.14am

to… Creative Department

cc… David Crutton; Daniel Westbrooke

re… arses in gear

You will need no reminding of the Coke pitch. This is the big one.

Excalibur.

The Holy Grail.

Eldorado.

The Most Famous Brand in the World.

David Crutton and Dan Westbrooke will brief us at noon in the boardroom.

Be keen.

Be sharp.

Be clever.

Above all, be there.

Si

Daniel Westbrooke – 3/1/00, 10.18am

to… Simon Horne

cc…

re… arses in gear

Simon, I know this might be a silly little thing, so excuse my pedantry. I do not mind you calling me Dan in private, but to the great unwashed, please refer to me as Daniel. The diminutive sounds far too familiar and, as Head of Client Services, I find it pays to remain a little aloof from the rabble! See you at 12.00.