Her Christmas Knight

‘You know how you are always saying that one day I’ll be over Hugh?’

Elizabeth’s hands flew to her chest. ‘You are not making some cruel joke?’

‘I’m not.’

Or at least a part of her was telling the truth. And her anger at him made the lie easier.

‘I think that day has come.’

Elizabeth sat down hard on the edge of her bed. ‘I am speechless. I never thought I would hear you say those words. Even if you felt that way, I never thought you would actually say it. How did it happen? You have met someone? Were you introduced?’

Oh, she’d met someone. She met the man she had foolishly fallen in love with, and he’d thought her a whore. Simply the memory of him tightened her guts and coiled her innards with irritation.

‘Nothing like that!’

Her sister’s brows rose and she gave her a knowing look.

Needing to be calm, Alice forced her mind to erase Hugh. She wouldn’t tell her sister of seeing Hugh again. There would be no point. It wasn’t as if he would ever return to Swaffham. He hadn’t returned to the town in years. Here, she was safe from his presence.

If only her thoughts were safe from thinking of him.

‘I have met many men,’ she amended. ‘It was difficult not to at Court. There was eating, dancing and games. I could hardly go to London and not meet someone.’

‘Well, then, who was it that took your eye? Please tell me. Do I know him? You know I always thought Mitchell would be a fine match for you—especially now he’s returned from his travels.’

Mitchell was close to her age, and as sensible as her sister’s husband. He was indeed a perfect match for her. If only she could force her heart to agree to such a bargain.

She’d have to tell a truth.

‘No one in particular took my eye.’

Elizabeth frowned. ‘None ever do. You have always been this way. Ever since that ridiculous incident when you were six.’

‘It wasn’t ridiculous!’

‘You defend him again?’

‘I can hardly not defend him. I broke his nose!’

Elizabeth shook her head. ‘You did not break Hugh’s nose; Allen broke his nose.’

‘I’m the one who swung my fist.’

‘But Allen and his friends lowered you into that empty well.’

‘I hate the dark to this day. And if not for Hugh, where would I be?’

‘Happily married to a suitable man instead of pining away for years in vain hope. I thought you were over him?’

Alice slipped out of her shoes and placed them closer to the fire. ‘I am.’

‘Then why are you defending him?’

She raised one foot to the fire and revelled in the warmth seeping into her toes. ‘Because, despite what he has done, and despite the fact I’m no longer in love with him, he does deserve some bit of kindness.’

‘Truly?’

It was all lies—lies, lies. She was in love with him and he didn’t deserve kindness, but she had to continue her story.

‘I was scared witless after being left in that well. When Hugh came and fought them off—’

‘Getting his nose broken in the process,’ Elizabeth interrupted.

‘I was so relieved.’

‘And that relief manifested itself into some strange infatuation until you thought yourself in love with him.’ Elizabeth stood and paced the room. ‘It was childish, making that vow to marry him.’

‘I was six!’

‘But you made a vow. It didn’t matter what age you were. You were always stubborn, always headstrong. You have never broken a vow, never backed down from a challenge. I always feared the moment you vowed to marry him you would stick to it even if you did not love him. Or that maybe you would fool yourself into loving him simply to fulfil your vow.’

Alice looked down. Steam rose from the bottom of her dress. This was not the conversation she’d wanted. Defending Hugh was a mistake, and had only alerted Elizabeth to her true feelings. She needed to change the subject or else she’d never fool her sister.

‘Aren’t you curious what happened to me at Court?’

Elizabeth’s eyes narrowed, but she nodded her head in agreement.

‘I noticed men and women talking...laughing. Together. It reminded me of you and John. It was...painful.’

Elizabeth bit hard on her lip, her hands tightly clenched in her lap. ‘I did not know you felt that way.’

She didn’t. She had always been happy for her and John. If there had ever been an occasional wish that she could be as happy, it had been quickly pushed away so she could concentrate on her projects.

She turned her back to her sister and thrust her feet and hands towards the fire. ‘I didn’t know I felt that way until I was at Court.’

‘Curious that you should feel that way in London. It’s not as if loyalty and love are in fashion there.’

‘Maybe they seemed happy. Maybe I simply saw what I wanted to see. Maybe I want to be married.’

The squeak of the bed ropes and the flutter of her sister’s dress notified her that Elizabeth was moving closer. Alice rubbed her hands and hunched her shoulders forward to hide her features. She felt Elizabeth’s eyes trying to prise the truth from her profile, but she didn’t dare look at her.

‘You could borrow a gown of mine if you are so cold.’

Did Elizabeth suspect? She couldn’t, shouldn’t look at her sister. ‘No, I’ll warm up in a while.’

‘You’ve turned down so many proposals...’

‘I know.’