Этот неподражаемый Дживс! / The Inimitable Jeeves

Этот неподражаемый Дживс! / The Inimitable Jeeves
Пелам Гренвилл Вудхаус

Легко читаем по-английски
«Этот неподражаемый Дживс!» – это коллекция эпизодов из жизни Бертрама Вустера и его дворецкого Дживса. Друг, постоянно влюбляющийся в новых девушек, тетушка, находящаяся в постоянном поиске невесты для Берти, а также два совершенно неуправляемых племянника – все это вносит раздор в размеренное существование молодого джентльмена.

Для удобства читателя текст сопровождается комментариями и кратким словарем.

Предназначается для продолжающих изучать английский язык (уровень 4 – Upper-Intermediate).

Пелам Гренвилл Вудхаус / P.G. Wodehouse

Этот неподражаемый Дживс! / The Inimitable Jeeves

© The Trustees of the P.G. Wodehouse Estate

© Матвеев С. А., адаптация текста, словарь, 2018

© ООО «Издательство АСТ», 2018

1

Jeeves Exerts the Old Cerebellum[1 - Jeeves Exerts the Old Cerebellum – Дживз шевелит мозгами]

“Morning, Jeeves,” I said.

“Good morning, sir,” said Jeeves.

He put the good old cup of tea softly on the table by my bed, and I took a refreshing sip. Excellent, as usual. Not too hot, not too sweet, not to weak, not too strong, not too much milk, and not a drop spilled in the saucer. A wonderful guy, Jeeves. So competent in every respect. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. Just for example. Every other valet I’ve ever had entered my room in the morning while I was still asleep, but Jeeves seems to know when I’m awake by a sort of telepathy. He always comes in with the cup exactly two minutes after I come to life.

“How is the weather, Jeeves?”

“Exceptionally clement, sir.”

“Anything in the papers?”

“Some crisis in the Balkans[2 - the Balkans – Балканы], sir. Otherwise, nothing.”

“I say, Jeeves, a man I met at the club last night told me to put all my money on Privateer[3 - Privateer – Флибустьер (кличка лошади)] for the two o’clock race this afternoon. How about it?”

“I shall not advise it, sir.”

That was enough for me. Jeeves knows. How, I couldn’t say, but he knows. There was a time when I would laugh lightly, and go ahead, and lose everything, but not now.

“By the way,” I said, “have those mauve shirts I ordered arrived yet?”

“Yes, sir. I sent then back.”

“Sent them back?”

“Yes, sir. They would not suit you.”

Well, I must say I bow to superior knowledge. Weak? I don’t know. Most fellows, no doubt, are sure that their valets must only crease trousers and so on; but it’s different with Jeeves. Right from the first day he came to me, I have looked on him as a sort of guide, philosopher, and friend.

“Mr. Little[4 - Little – Литл] rang up on the telephone a few moments ago, sir. I informed him that you were not yet awake.”

“Did he leave a message?”

“No, sir. He mentioned that he had a matter of importance to discuss with you, but gave no details.”

“Oh, well, I expect I shall see him at the club.”

“No doubt, sir.”

To be honest, I wasn’t excited to see him. Bingo[5 - Bingo – Бинго] Little is a fellow I was at school with, and we see each other often. He’s the nephew of old Mortimer[6 - Mortimer – Мортимер] Little, who retired from business recently with a lot of money. Bingo wandered about London, his uncle gave him enough money, and led a fairly unclouded life. I suspected that he had discovered some new brand of cigarette which he wanted me to try, or something like that.

After breakfast I lit a cigarette and went to the open window. It certainly was one a bright day. “Jeeves,” I said.

“Sir?” said Jeeves.

“You were absolutely right about the weather. It is a nice morning.”

“Decidedly, sir.”

“Spring and all that.”

“Yes, sir.”

“In the spring, Jeeves, flowers grow and birds sing.”

“No doubt, sir.”

“Exactly! Then bring me my cane, my yellowest shoes, and the old green hat. I’m going into the park.”

I don’t know if you know that sort of feeling you get on these days in the end of April and in the beginning of May, when the sky is blue, with cotton-wool clouds, and there’s a breeze blowing from the west? Romantic, if you know what I mean. On this particular morning it seemed to me that what I really wanted was some charming girl to ask me to save her from assassins or something. So that it was rather terrible when I suddenly ran into[7 - ran into – столкнулся с] Bingo Little, in a crimson satin tie decorated with horseshoes.

“Hallo, Bertie[8 - Bertie – Берти],” said Bingo.

“My God, man!” I gargled. “Your tie! Why? For what reason?”

“Oh, the tie?” He blushed. “I—er—I was given it.”

He seemed embarrassed, so I dropped the subject[9 - I dropped the subject – я оставил эту тему]. We walked a bit, and sat down on a couple of chairs by the Serpentine[10 - by the Serpentine – у Серпентина].

“Jeeves tells me you want to talk to me about something,” I said.

“Eh?” said Bingo. “Oh yes, yes. Yes.”

I waited for the news, but he didn’t seem to go on. Conversation languished. He stared straight ahead of him.