An Almanac of Twelve Sports

An Almanac of Twelve Sports
Rudyard Kipling

Rudyard Kipling

An Almanac of Twelve Sports

1898

January

February

March

April

May

June

Here is a horse to tame —
Here is a gun to handle —
God knows you can enter the game
If you'll only pay for the same,
And the price of the game is a candle —
One single flickering candle!

1898

July

August

September

October

November

December

Hunting

Certes it is a noble sport
And men have quitted selle and swum for't,
But I am of a meeker sort
And I prefer Surtees in comfort.

Reach down my "Handley Cross" again.
My run, where never danger lurks, is
With Jorrocks and his deathless train
Pigg, Binjimin and Arterxerxes!

January.

Coursing

Most men harry the world for fun —
Each man seeks it a different way
But "of all daft devils under the sun
A grey'ound's the daftest" said Jorrocks J.

February.

Racing

The horse is ridden – the jockey rides —
The backers back – the owners own
But … there are lots of things besides,
And I should leave this play alone.

March.

Boating

The Pope of Rome he could not win
From pleasant meat and pleasant sin
These who, in honour's hope, endure
Lean days and lives enforced pure.
These who, replying not, submit
Unto the curses of the Pit
Which he that rides (O greater shame!)
Flings forth by number not by name…
Could Triple Crown or Jesuit's oath
Do what yon shuffle-stocking doth?

April.

Fishing

Behold a parable! A fished for B.
C took her bait; her heart was set on D.
Thank Heaven, who cooled your blood and cramped your wishes,
Men and not Gods torment you, little fishes.

May.

Cricket