Healing the Lawman's Heart

She pressed her lips together as reality hit home. “I guess that’s a risk we have to take.”

“Not if you go old-school and use paper at the clinic, then have someone update at the main office each day.”

“Who has time for that?” Julia directed the question to Zach but stared at Tanner.

“That’s what a lot of practices did until a few years ago,” he reminded. “I’m not telling you how to do your job, Julia, but I’m looking at this from a police perspective. Out of sight is always better. Lessen the temptation, you avoid the crime.”

“So we have to either hire a data input person to transfer files at the main office each day or risk a B and E”?

“If you have part-time personnel, couldn’t they tack an extra five hours onto their weekly schedule to upload daily information?”

Now she looked interested. “You know, that might work, Tanner. We have a couple of people who might benefit from those five extra hours. And if we didn’t have to expand the integrated system, we could use the money for something else.”

“Everyone’s happy that way.” Tanner reached for a brownie. “Would you care to join me in a celebratory brownie?”

She eyed the plate, then shook her head. “I’m going to pass.” She stood, glanced at her watch and said, “Actually, Zach, I’m going to head to the gym as long as Tanner’s here and the boys are with Dad. Call my cell if you need anything. Tanner, are you okay here for half an hour, give or take?”

He hoisted the tray of brownies. “Preseason baseball on cable and these. We’re good.”

She grabbed her purse, gave the brownies one last look and started for the door.

“When do we start demolition?”

“Soon, but I have to check Dad’s schedule.”

He made a “call me” sign with his right hand. The move made her laugh, but it wasn’t hard to see the shadows in her eyes. She left and he turned to Zach. “Does she hate me?”

“Julia doesn’t hate anyone, not even her stupid ex-husband who cheated on her, made her feel like dirt, and ignored his kids for over two years and now expects her to jump through hoops so he can visit them.”

Tanner held up a hand. “I’m going to stop asking you questions because the meds have unhinged your tongue and your sister might kill you for telling me all that.”

“All what?”

Zach looked confused, which meant the meds were doing a number on him. Tanner grabbed the remote, turned on a preseason Pittsburgh game and settled into the wide-armed chair with the tray of brownies close. “Baseball it is, my friend.”

But Zach’s words ignited a curl of sympathy wrapped around a thread of anger. What kind of idiot cheated on a beautiful woman like Julia and ignored his kids? The thought of a father dismissing his children frustrated him. He’d never had the chance to carry, rock or play with baby Solomon.

A tiny part of him wondered, for just a moment, if maybe Sol and Ashley were together in heaven. If maybe, just maybe, she was holding their son in her arms, and whispering stories about his dad on Earth.

He shoved the sentimental thoughts away, but as he did, a cardinal lit on the tree outside Zach’s front window. The red bird danced, waved a wing, then danced on the branch again.

Beauty in everyday things.

Ashley had talked about that all the time, and he thought she was being cute and fanciful, but right now, seeing the bird, imagining Sol tucked in Ashley’s arms made it almost seem possible.

The game came on and when he glanced back up, the cardinal was gone.

For a moment he’d felt hopeful, as if there might be more to this life than he believed.

But that was probably nonsense, whereas baseball was real, so he concentrated on team rivalries because he understood that.

Life and faith, intertwined? Not so much.

* * *

Sixty minutes of exercise did nothing but make Julia hungrier.

She’d ignored the brownies.

She’d turned away from the fresh hoagie bread her father brought home from the McKinney Dairy Farm store, baked daily by an Amish woman over on County Road 4.

She’d grabbed a pack of fresh veggies, told herself that cucumbers were the new chocolate, but it was no use. She needed coffee, good coffee, and she needed it now. The best place to find that was at Tina’s Corner Café. The popular gathering spot was now tucked into an expanded corner of The Pelican’s Nest, a family owned restaurant on the shores of Kirkwood Lake. No way was she going back home without a proper caffeine fix and maybe some girl talk. Knowing she was going to be working side by side with a grumpy cop and trying to analyze Vic’s moves made the company of other women essential.

She walked through the door, smiled at Tina, looked at Tina’s aunt Laura and promptly burst into tears.

“Julia! Sweetie, what is it?” Laura wrapped her arms around Julia and hugged her close. “Are you okay? Are the boys okay? Is it Zach? Or your father?”

Julia shook her head, tried to talk, failed miserably, then sighed when Tina handed over a fistful of tissues. “Men.” Tina muttered the word with typical Martinelli emphasis. “Can’t live with ’em. Can’t shoot ’em.”

“Which of course would be a dreadful sin,” added Laura, “but if some wretched man has broken your heart, honey, I’m not afraid to help make his life miserable, and I’ll do it in the most sincere manner a Sunday-school teaching woman can employ and stay right with God.”

Julia burst out laughing. The thought of sweet, mild-mannered Laura D’Allesandro taking up Julia’s cause sounded real good right now. “I’ll be fine, and yes, it’s a man. How did you know?” she asked, and Tina just rolled her eyes.

“Let’s just say I used to be familiar with the symptoms. Before Max, that is.” She smiled when she mentioned her husband’s name. “I’ve kissed a few frogs in my time.”

“Kiss a few toads, sweep our share of ashes,” Laura exclaimed with a quick swipe of a washcloth to the empty tables.

“But you didn’t marry the frogs,” Julia reminded Tina. “You waited for the prince to come along.”

Tina’s expression said otherwise. “I was engaged to one and almost engaged to the other. So pretty close, darling.”

“You’re among friends, now tell us. What’s going on?” Laura asked. “You’re never upset, you’re the most even-keeled, optimistic person I know. This has got to be really nasty to have you this riled up.”

“Coffee, first,” Tina inserted. “I think a caramel macchiato would be just right.”

Julia glanced up at the calorie board and hesitated.

Tina groaned.

Laura sighed. “Don’t tell me a pretty thing like you is worried about her weight? Because I’ll just fall down laughing.”

“And I’ll join her, and then there’ll be no one to make your coffee,” Tina continued. She reached out and grabbed Julia’s hands as Julia sank onto a counter stool. “I don’t know the story, but I’m going to guess he cheated on you and you’re trying to figure out why.”

Julia stared at her. “How did you know that?”

“Because women tend to assume it’s our fault first.” Tina moved back behind the counter and started building Julia’s drink. “We see their cheating as the result of our lack, instead of their choice to stray.”

“Which is ridiculous, of course,” Laura chimed in. “What does God tell us about women in Proverbs 31? That a woman opens her hands to the poor and reaches out to the needy. That she works for her family, and provides for them? I don’t recall seeing anything about being a size six, Julia. Or trying to reform ourselves to win affection. Shouldn’t we be loved as God loves us? For ourselves?”