The Family Secret

‘For God’s sake. Now I’m going to have to go to her, aren’t I?’ She quickly places her paints inside before closing the hut and rushing towards town.

Chapter Three (#ulink_a155e8a9-e59b-5ffb-91de-22267ea440a8)

As Amber strides up the road and into town, the skies are gloomy, so gloomy the shop owners have turned on their Christmas lights. They sparkle red, blue and green in the shop windows, Christmas music tinkling out. People pass, many smiling in greeting at Amber.

Soon the town square will be filled with festive market stalls. Some of them will be selling produce Amber had sourced, handed over in exchange for promises to send customers down to the beach.

The hospital comes into sight. Amber walks in.

‘There was a girl who came in this morning,’ she says when she gets to the reception area. ‘The one found on the beach?’

A glum-looking receptionist wearing an elf hat looks Amber up and down. ‘Yes. And how can I help you?’

‘I was the one who found her. I’d like to see her, if possible?’

The receptionist narrows her eyes at Amber. ‘How do I know that?’

Amber rolls her eyes in exasperation. ‘Seriously?’ She peers into the ward. ‘Is Doctor Fiore on duty?’

The receptionist’s eyes flicker with confusion. ‘He is.’

‘Can you tell him Amber’s here? He can vouch for me.’

The receptionist picks up her phone, narrowing her eyes suspiciously at Amber. As she pages Jasper, Amber leans against the counter, taking in the hobbling patients and sullen-looking children. Winter means ice-related falls and viruses galore. Jasper was always his busiest at this time of year. She well remembers the nights huddled up in front of the fire alone, then the joy of him returning and the hot baths they’d share as she scrubbed away his day.

A moment later he appears, striding down the corridor, his holly-and-ivy tie tucked into his shirt. ‘Is everything okay, Amber?’ he asks.

‘This woman won’t let me see the girl,’ Amber explains.

Jasper turns his smile onto the receptionist. ‘It’s all right, Kathleen. Amber was the one who found her. I’ll take her to the ward.’

‘So sorry, Doctor Fiore,’ the receptionist says, her face flushing.

Jasper shakes his head. ‘It’s fine, really, you were only doing your job.’

The woman beams.

‘Looks like you still have a way with the ladies,’ Amber says as Jasper leads her towards the lifts.

Jasper shoots her a look. It had always been a joke between them, how the staff had little crushes on Jasper. It was even funnier as Jasper didn’t seem to notice it at all. But it was obvious to Amber, especially when she attended any of his work get-togethers and saw the way the young girls, some men too, would blush when Jasper talked to them. She didn’t feel she could compete really, not with her deformed hand. That was always her problem. She supposed she was attractive enough with her curves and rosy freckled cheeks; in fact, she knew it from the way men would chat her up. But she was always so aware of her hand. It made her so insecure. Jasper said she was imagining it but he didn’t see things through her eyes, the flickering change in expression whenever she met new people, the sudden pretending that they hadn’t noticed. When she told him that, he’d counter that of course they’d noticed. But so what, it didn’t make her any less attractive to them.

‘I checked on her earlier,’ Jasper says now as they step into the lift. As the doors close, Amber is suddenly aware of their proximity, the subtle scent of the shower gel he always used filling her head with memories: his lips on her neck, the feel of her wedding ring slipping onto her finger as he smiled into her eyes, the sight of him holding their newborn, examining every part of Katy’s tiny little face.

As Jasper looks at her now, she knows he is thinking the same. All those memories, the good and the bad.

‘Is she okay then?’ Amber says stiffly. ‘The girl?’

He nods. ‘They did a CT scan. She has some damage to her temporal lobe,’ he adds, gesturing to the side of his head just behind his ear. ‘That will explain the memory loss.’

‘Is it permanent?’

He shakes his head. ‘Hopefully not. These injuries can be unpredictable though. She was rather distressed when I saw her. Must be scary being on her own in a town and hospital she doesn’t recognise.’ He shoots Amber a loaded look.

‘Oh, don’t give me that look, Jasper,’ she says. ‘It’s easy for you on your secure doctor’s wage to have the odd day off work. You still get paid. But for every hour I’m away from the shop, I lose money, not to mention precious time to finish painting it.’

He holds her gaze and she stares defiantly back at him. He looks like he’s about to say something then he shakes his head, rubbing at his forehead. ‘I’m too tired to argue with you, Amber.’

‘I didn’t realise we were arguing.’

He smiles. ‘That used to be my phrase.’

Amber can’t help but smile back. Jasper was so laid back, he didn’t even realise when Amber was angry at him. ‘You do realise we were just having an argument, right?’ she used to say to him.

The doors ping open and they both walk out. Jasper leads her towards the children’s ward and she pauses. The memories of being in there scorch her insides. It must be even harder for Jasper being here too, she thinks. He can’t escape the last place he saw his daughter.

‘We’re not sure of her age,’ he explains, eyes filled with sympathy. ‘Thought it best we pop her in the children’s ward, just in case she’s under sixteen.’

‘I think she’s older than sixteen,’ Amber says, swallowing her fear of entering that ward again after all these years.

‘Like I said, we can’t be sure. And the children’s ward is a gentler environment anyway.’

They walk into the ward, Jasper using his card to let them in. A nurse looks up as they approach.

‘Why, hello again, Jasper. Can’t keep away from this ward, can you?’ she asks flirtatiously. Then she notices Amber. The nurse straightens up. ‘How can I help, Doctor?’

Amber looks from the nurse to Jasper and back again. Was she imagining it or was there something going on between them? She feels jealousy curl like a snake at the pit of her stomach. Silly really. It’s been ten years, after all. Jasper must have had many relationships since.

Jasper coughs, looking slightly embarrassed. ‘We’ve come to see the girl who was found on the beach.’

‘Ah yes, our Jane Doe,’ the nurse replies.

‘She’s not dead,’ Amber snaps.

The nurse’s face hardens. ‘I didn’t say she was.’

‘Amber found her,’ Jasper says quickly, trying to diffuse the tension. ‘She’d like to visit her.’

The nurse nods. ‘Right, well, come with me then.’

Luckily, the ward looks different from how it was ten years ago. New paintings on the walls. New beds. New curtains around the cubicles. Amber tells herself it isn’t the same one where she held her daughter as she died. It helps that there are Christmas decorations everywhere too, the staff wearing different items as nods towards the seasonal time of year: gingerbread tights, tinselled hair.

The nurse leads them to a cubicle at the end of the ward concealed by a blue curtain with fish shapes on it. She opens the curtain and peeks in with a smile. ‘We have a visitor for you, love.’

Amber walks in with Jasper, feeling bad she hasn’t brought anything. Grapes. A magazine even. The girl sits up in bed and smiles weakly. She looks worn out, even paler than earlier. A thick dressing is wound around her head and her thin arms stick out from a pale green smock.

‘You came back,’ she says when Amber walks to her bed.

Amber bites her lip. She should never have left. ‘Of course! I just needed to make sure I shut the shop properly, that’s all. How are you?’