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The History of Troilus and Cressida

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2017
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so.
PANDARUS. Troilus! Why, he esteems her no more than I esteem an
addle egg.
CRESSIDA. If you love an addle egg as well as you love an idle
head, you would eat chickens i' th' shell.
PANDARUS. I cannot choose but laugh to think how she tickled
his
chin. Indeed, she has a marvell's white hand, I must needs
confess.
CRESSIDA. Without the rack.
PANDARUS. And she takes upon her to spy a white hair on his
chin.
CRESSIDA. Alas, poor chin! Many a wart is richer.
PANDARUS. But there was such laughing! Queen Hecuba laugh'd
that
her eyes ran o'er.
CRESSIDA. With millstones.
PANDARUS. And Cassandra laugh'd.
CRESSIDA. But there was a more temperate fire under the pot of
her
eyes. Did her eyes run o'er too?
PANDARUS. And Hector laugh'd.
CRESSIDA. At what was all this laughing?
PANDARUS. Marry, at the white hair that Helen spied on Troilus'
chin.
CRESSIDA. An't had been a green hair I should have laugh'd too.
PANDARUS. They laugh'd not so much at the hair as at his pretty
answer.
CRESSIDA. What was his answer?
PANDARUS. Quoth she 'Here's but two and fifty hairs on your
chin,
and one of them is white.'
CRESSIDA. This is her question.
PANDARUS. That's true; make no question of that. 'Two and fifty
hairs,' quoth he 'and one white. That white hair is my
father,
and all the rest are his sons.' 'Jupiter!' quoth she 'which
of
these hairs is Paris my husband?' 'The forked one,' quoth he,
'pluck't out and give it him.' But there was such laughing!
and
Helen so blush'd, and Paris so chaf'd; and all the rest so
laugh'd that it pass'd.
CRESSIDA. So let it now; for it has been a great while going
by.
PANDARUS. Well, cousin, I told you a thing yesterday; think
on't.
CRESSIDA. So I do.
PANDARUS. I'll be sworn 'tis true; he will weep you, and 'twere
a
man born in April.
CRESSIDA. And I'll spring up in his tears, an 'twere a nettle
against May. [Sound a
retreat]
PANDARUS. Hark! they are coming from the field. Shall we stand
up
here and see them as they pass toward Ilium? Good niece, do,
sweet niece Cressida.
CRESSIDA. At your pleasure.
PANDARUS. Here, here, here's an excellent place; here we may
see
most bravely. I'll tell you them all by their names as they
pass
by; but mark Troilus above the rest.

AENEAS passes

CRESSIDA. Speak not so loud.
PANDARUS. That's Aeneas. Is not that a brave man? He's one of
the
flowers of Troy, I can tell you. But mark Troilus; you shall
see
anon.

ANTENOR passes

CRESSIDA. Who's that?
PANDARUS. That's Antenor. He has a shrewd wit, I can tell you;
and
he's a man good enough; he's one o' th' soundest judgments in
Troy, whosoever, and a proper man of person. When comes
Troilus?
I'll show you Troilus anon. If he see me, you shall see him
nod
at me.
CRESSIDA. Will he give you the nod?
PANDARUS. You shall see.
CRESSIDA. If he do, the rich shall have more.

HECTOR passes

PANDARUS. That's Hector, that, that, look you, that; there's a
fellow! Go thy way, Hector! There's a brave man, niece. O
brave
Hector! Look how he looks. There's a countenance! Is't not a
brave man?
CRESSIDA. O, a brave man!
PANDARUS. Is 'a not? It does a man's heart good. Look you what
hacks are on his helmet! Look you yonder, do you see? Look
you
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