The Duchess of Malfi

Leave me; but place thyself behind the arras,
Where thou mayst overhear us.  Wish me good speed;
For I am going into a wilderness,
Where I shall find nor path nor friendly clue
To be my guide.
[Cariola goes behind the arras.]

[Enter ANTONIO]

I sent for you:  sit down;
Take pen and ink, and write:  are you ready?
ANTONIO.                                      Yes.
DUCHESS.  What did I say?
ANTONIO.  That I should write somewhat.
DUCHESS.                                 O, I remember.
After these triumphs and this large expense
It 's fit, like thrifty husbands,[21 - Housekeepers.] we inquire
What 's laid up for to-morrow.
ANTONIO.  So please your beauteous excellence.
DUCHESS.                                        Beauteous!
Indeed, I thank you.  I look young for your sake;
You have ta'en my cares upon you.
ANTONIO.                           I 'll fetch your grace
The particulars of your revenue and expense.
DUCHESS.  O, you are
An upright treasurer:  but you mistook;
For when I said I meant to make inquiry
What 's laid up for to-morrow, I did mean
What 's laid up yonder for me.
ANTONIO.                        Where?
DUCHESS.                                In heaven.
I am making my will (as 'tis fit princes should,
In perfect memory), and, I pray, sir, tell me,
Were not one better make it smiling, thus,
Than in deep groans and terrible ghastly looks,
As if the gifts we parted with procur'd[22 - Produced.]  That violent distraction?
ANTONIO.                   O, much better.
DUCHESS.  If I had a husband now, this care were quit:
But I intend to make you overseer.
What good deed shall we first remember?  Say.
ANTONIO.  Begin with that first good deed began i' the world
After man's creation, the sacrament of marriage;
I 'd have you first provide for a good husband;
Give him all.
DUCHESS.       All!
ANTONIO.             Yes, your excellent self.
DUCHESS.  In a winding-sheet?
ANTONIO.                       In a couple.
DUCHESS.  Saint Winifred, that were a strange will!
ANTONIO.  'Twere stranger[23 - Qq. read STRANGE.] if there were no will in you
To marry again.
DUCHESS.         What do you think of marriage?
ANTONIO.  I take 't, as those that deny purgatory,
It locally contains or heaven or hell;
There 's no third place in 't.
DUCHESS.                        How do you affect it?
ANTONIO.  My banishment, feeding my melancholy,
Would often reason thus.
DUCHESS.                  Pray, let 's hear it.
ANTONIO.  Say a man never marry, nor have children,
What takes that from him?  Only the bare name
Of being a father, or the weak delight
To see the little wanton ride a-cock-horse
Upon a painted stick, or hear him chatter
Like a taught starling.
DUCHESS.                 Fie, fie, what 's all this?
One of your eyes is blood-shot; use my ring to 't.
They say 'tis very sovereign.  'Twas my wedding-ring,
And I did vow never to part with it
But to my second husband.
ANTONIO.  You have parted with it now.
DUCHESS.  Yes, to help your eye-sight.
ANTONIO.  You have made me stark blind.
DUCHESS.  How?
ANTONIO.  There is a saucy and ambitious devil
Is dancing in this circle.
DUCHESS.                    Remove him.
ANTONIO.  How?
DUCHESS.  There needs small conjuration, when your finger
May do it:  thus.  Is it fit?
[She puts the ring upon his finger]: he kneels.
ANTONIO.                       What said you?
DUCHESS.                                       Sir,
This goodly roof of yours is too low built;
I cannot stand upright in 't nor discourse,
Without I raise it higher.  Raise yourself;
Or, if you please, my hand to help you:  so.

[Raises him.]

ANTONIO.  Ambition, madam, is a great man's madness,
That is not kept in chains and close-pent rooms,
But in fair lightsome lodgings, and is girt
With the wild noise of prattling visitants,
Which makes it lunatic beyond all cure.
Conceive not I am so stupid but I aim[24 - Guess.]  Whereto your favours tend:  but he 's a fool
That, being a-cold, would thrust his hands i' the fire
To warm them.
DUCHESS.       So, now the ground 's broke,
You may discover what a wealthy mine