One Minute Mentoring: How to find and work with a mentor - and why you’ll benefit from being one

Walking back to his cubicle, Josh reflected on Eva’s advice. He hadn’t always felt so discouraged. Back when he had just graduated from college with a degree in business, he’d had all the energy in the world. The results of a vocational preference test indicated that he might be good in sales, which led him to a job as a junior sales rep at JoySoft. He’d fantasized about becoming a top salesperson.

Five years later, reality was staring him hard in the face. At this point, he was just hoping he could hold on to his job for another year or two—enough time to figure out what he really wanted to do.

As Josh entered his cubicle, Eric was pumping his fist in the air.

“Signed!” Eric shouted happily, slamming down the phone. He pulled out a red marker and drew a big X across the day’s date on his wall calendar. As Josh had learned from Eric, the calendar was a motivational tool he’d picked up from a business book. Every X represented a new client. According to Eric, the more Xs in a row you got, the more likely you were to get more.

Eric had a lot of Xs this month.

Good thing I don’t have one of those calendars up, Josh thought.

With a sigh, he picked up his mug and headed for the break room. He needed a breather from Eric’s enthusiasm. As Josh refilled his mug, he realized he was at a crossroads. He needed consoling—and good advice.

Fortunately, at times like these he knew just the right number to call.

ONE MINUTE INSIGHTS

Pause, Reflect, and Learn

Where are you in your life? Are you on an upward trajectory, or have you hit a plateau?

Do you feel uncertain about the direction you’re heading?

Are you open to learning from others?

Asking for Direction (#ulink_fadc038a-6f3d-5c59-9de5-5cf6de9b47e5)

“Dad, hi. It’s me.”

“Josh! Nice to hear from you. What’s up?”

“I’m thinking about coming home for the weekend.”

“Great! Your mom will be thrilled. And your brother’s going to be here, too. What’s the occasion?”

“Just want to get out of the city and see you guys. Maybe run a few things by you.”

“Okay. We look forward to seeing you.”

As Josh said good-bye to his father and pocketed his phone, he felt some of the tension he’d been carrying slip away. Not all sons had good parents. He was grateful to be one of the lucky ones.

*

A few days later Josh was gathered with his mom, dad, and older brother, Brian, around the barbecue.

“Josh, you said you wanted to run some things by us,” said his dad as he flipped burgers. “What’s cooking—besides what’s on the grill?”

“I’m having some issues at work,” Josh said. “These days, it takes all my effort just to get from nine to five. Eric—who shares a cubicle with me—is young, but he’s getting better results than I am. I used to feel confident in my sales ability. Now, not so much.”

His father looked up from his grilling. “Is there anything we can do?”

His dad had been a successful media executive for many years, and his mom was a middle-school principal. Josh respected their opinions more and more as the years went by.

“You’re already helping, just by listening.”

“Tell us more,” said his mom.

“On bad days, I feel like I should throw in the towel. Those are the days when I wonder what I really do, anyway. What is my job, when you break it down? Just an endless series of e-mails and meetings and presentations? Does any of my work really matter?”

His parents said nothing, but he could tell by their thoughtful faces that he had their full attention.

“The thing is,” Josh continued, “I’m just not sure what I should be doing with my life. How do I get out of this rut and get my career going again?”

When you have a problem to solve, talking about it is a good first step.

His mom said, “When you have a problem to solve, talking about it is a good first step. Maybe JoySoft isn’t a good fit for you. Perhaps you just need a change of scenery. Have you thought about getting your résumé out there? Don’t forget, you had a couple of good offers before you went with JoySoft.”

“Yeah, I’ve thought about that. But what if the problem isn’t the company, Mom? What if the problem is me?”

Josh looked over at his brother, who was helping himself to some barbecued chicken. “What do you think, Brian?”

“Sounds like you’re having a classic late-twenties crisis. What helped me was working on my MBA. It gave me time to think about what I wanted to do. Plus, I made a lot of good job contacts. That’s how I ended up in commercial real estate.”

Josh said, “I don’t think an MBA is in the cards for me right now. But I sure could use some good professional contacts. My boss wants me to take some pointers from Eric, my hotshot cubicle mate. His sales have been on fire since he started. You can imagine how that makes me feel—being told to take advice from someone who’s five years younger than me.”

“I know it might be tough on your ego, but actually, learning from Eric would be a good interim step,” said his dad. “For the long term, though, it would be ideal to find an older mentor who could give you some big-picture advice about your career and life. Think of how much you’ve helped Ricky.”

Two summers ago Josh had become a “Big Brother” to twelve-year-old Ricky through the Big Brothers Big Sisters program.

“But Ricky’s just a kid,” said Josh. “I need grown-up help.”

“I’ve been saying that for years,” his brother kidded. “But Dad’s right—you need a career mentor. When I was hired, my company immediately set me up with a mentor who had the job they wanted me to grow into, because they needed as many knowledgeable brokers as they could get. I’m learning so much faster than I could have on my own.”

“All right,” said Josh. “I’ll find a mentor. But where?”

“Maybe your boss can refer you to one of the company’s older, successful salespeople,” said his mom.

“Or you could ask your roommate for some contacts,” said his dad. “He’s a big networker.”

“But Dev is in engineering,” Josh objected.

Potential mentors are all around you once you start looking for them.

“You never know where a good mentor might come from,” said his dad. “My first mentor was one of my high school teachers.”

“Mine was a businesswoman who lived next door,” said his mom. “People who can help you see the big picture don’t necessarily have to be in your field.”

“That’s right,” said his dad. “Potential mentors are all around you once you start looking for them.”