Yes, Please. Whatever!: How to get the best out of your teenagers

Yes, Please. Whatever!: How to get the best out of your teenagers
Penny Palmano

Following the success of her first book, Yes, Please. Thanks! Mum and author Penny Palmano, This Morning’s Mrs. Manners, is back with this comprehensive guide to raising teenagers.After her fair share of parenting, Penny Palmano decided to tackle what she saw as an epidemic of bad manners, and wrote a guidebook on teaching good manners to children. The book, Yes, Please. Thanks!, touched a nerve and has become a bestselling sensation.Yes, Please. Whatever! takes you, the parents, to the next stage and teaches you how to avoid the pitfalls of teenagers and all the problems specific to that age group from hormonal fluctuations and untidiness to dating. Penny shows you how to build mutual respect with your teenagers, the foundation stone for good behaviour and a good relationship.The book also includes first hand advice on teaching your teenager how to deal with siblings, relationships, exams, stress, food, money, part-time jobs, drinking, paying compliments, how to behave in public and with friends and even advice on how to teach them to pour wine. The result is that your teenager will be totally prepared in all life and social skills when they finally leave home.

Yes, Please. Whatever!

How to get the best out of your teenagers

Penny Palmano

The expert on modern manners

In memory of my god-daughter Clare

To Katherine, Sam and Fran You are all wonderful, please remain so…now about your rooms

Table of Contents

Cover Page (#ube5da86d-4db8-556b-ae54-36cfd8e391ae)

Title Page (#uc7214f78-481a-5147-9950-669ff83807ed)

Dedication (#u32896eca-bb6c-5fba-9e7f-bfdb0646be86)

Photo (#uc3859e7f-5229-5155-90c2-7d8b52429ac4)

Foreword (#u22a25246-4d52-5ab8-bff6-44e91e098385)

Enjoy (at least try to) (#u17ef6ab6-34ff-5999-b7c2-3867db3dd3eb)

One Turning Point (#u7fcb4ea3-551c-5769-b308-580023e0523b)

What teenagers really need (#ubf68d4d6-3616-5dd3-bfd0-2bfbcab85ad6)

Two Love and Attention (#u1f669e1b-d26a-5532-8d52-ce6192763121)

Three Respect (#uaa7112f1-f18b-5a2b-80a5-1e4cd6e34c48)

Four Support (#u8a24e300-3a32-5bdf-9bc6-6ea66ba19312)

Five Communication (#litres_trial_promo)

Good manners and behaviour (#litres_trial_promo)

Six Table Manners (#litres_trial_promo)

Seven Respectful Behaviour (#litres_trial_promo)

Teenage affairs (#litres_trial_promo)

Eight Relationships (#litres_trial_promo)

Nine Major Teenage Issues (#litres_trial_promo)

Ten Minor Teenage Issues (#litres_trial_promo)

Glossary (#litres_trial_promo)

Final Word (#litres_trial_promo)

Acknowledgements (#litres_trial_promo)

Copyright (#litres_trial_promo)

About the Publisher (#litres_trial_promo)

Photo (#ulink_4aec5e2a-0e8e-51a3-bc1d-9d8e37a83345)

From left: Francesca, Katherine, Penny and Sam

Foreword (#ulink_e2290282-0956-584e-a4c5-8ac07ce1972a)

‘Manners maketh man.’ This was the title of an essay I was given by Mr Lloyd-Jones in the final year of primary school. It would not be an uncommon question to ask why an 11-year-old boy was given such a tough academic task. It was certainly not because I was an intellectual marvel. The truth is much more prosaic. I had stuck two fingers up to the retreating back of the football teacher for picking Paul Parberry instead of the goal machine who was Melanie Ashley. Unfortunately, I was spotted by the terrifying giant Lloyd-Jones. Watching someone being punished by the Head of Balsa Wood Creativity was great sport as we marvelled at his ability to pick up a boy (never a perfect girl of course) with his left arm, tuck him under his left armpit so that both gluteal muscles were in the optimal position for the bear’s paw that was stuck on to his right arm. I would have preferred this punishment: I had received it once and had found that as soon as you became desensitized to the tingling that moved in waves from your bottom to your toes it wasn’t too bad. But this punishment…this was serious. How on earth was I going to do this in the 24 hours I had been given?

I admit that it was the fear of what Lloyd-Jones would do to me the next day that led me to admit my crime to my mum in a halting, pathetic voice that evening. Instead of the wind-tunnel of noise which I expected, my mum listened quietly to my story. She said that my demonstration in disagreeing with the selection had indeed been wholly inappropriate and that she would have to tell my dad when he arrived home. In the meantime I was not allowed out, given extra chores and told not to worry about the essay. The next morning, at breakfast, my dad handed me eight full sheets of writing. Each sheet was covered in beautifully crafted words, many of which I had never read in any Enid Blyton book. This is what I handed to Mr Lloyd-Jones. He asked me had I written this: I said no I hadn’t. He accepted this statement without further comment. I found out much later in life that he had greatly admired the fact that, as a family, we had sorted out my problem.

It is an incident which is etched into my memory and has formed a basis for my approach in education and latterly in my parenting. It is an incident that brings together three important qualities: Trust, Honesty and Respect. These are traditional values which form a skeleton on which we can build a body of parenting skills. Ms Palmano’s book helps us all, as parents, to focus on how we can assemble a positive relationship with our children based on good common-sense. It’s also pretty useful for Headmasters!

Gregg Davies

Headmaster

Shiplake College

Henley-on-Thames

Enjoy (at least try to) (#ulink_850a77e3-0ba4-5468-9591-3842f9aa3b43)

Just as I wanted to have well-behaved, polite children I could take out without running the risk of psychological help, I didn’t want confrontations, slamming doors, arguments and having to constantly apologize for their behaviour as teenagers. I like a sense of calm in our home and I wanted them to be charming and good company, not the stereotypical teenagers that are constantly maligned and sidelined as some sort of curious species to be constantly criticized, poked fun at and a constant source of amusement and derision.

And so many parents seem quite resigned to the fact that their own teenager’s opinions, sense of style, choice of friends, time-keeping and responsibilities is all part of a huge conspiratorial wind-up to test them to the limit.

Well, the good news is our children’s teenage years need not be a time of endless arguments, belligerence and aggression.

Your child’s transition from child to teenager should be welcomed and not dreaded as though you are about to make a pact with the devil and nurture a werewolf (although at times it may feel like that). Your children are reaching their final development stage, from that gorgeous little baby to who they are now with their own opinions and ideas. From the age of thirteen to eighteen you should delight in watching their ideas and thoughts mature. How your sixteen year old views the world, a totally different world to the one you knew at that age, is stimulating and even inspiring. Now’s the time you hear of their hopes for their future, from the thirteen year old determined to be a pop diva to the same child five years later who wants to go into medicine; this is a fantastic time.

The child who has reached the start of puberty is not some sort of alien but your beautiful little baby, who you sat up with all night and happily let vomit all over you. (And yes, this may well happen again but it probably won’t be milk!)

Their teenage behaviour is a barometer of how we dealt with them as children and how we deal with them now. So, always remember we only get the teenagers we deserve.