God of Thieves

Poseidon cleared his throat. He never spoke up much during meetings, since we mostly dealt with mortal problems, and the sea was his realm. But when he did, everyone paid attention. “If Hermes believes they are no longer present in any of the realms, then we have no reason to question it. His judgment is as sound as each of ours.”

Across from me, Hades hissed, but he said nothing. Coward. If he had something to say to me, he should’ve said it to my face.

“Hermes, do you believe they are gone?” said Zeus, and I nodded. Had to focus on the big picture here. Hades was never going to like me again no matter what I did—no point in wasting energy trying to win him over.

“If I can’t find them, then they’re nowhere at all. And the only explanation is that they’ve faded.”

A hush settled over the council again, and in the throne beside Ares, Aphrodite dabbed her eyes. “Are we next?”

“No.” Hephaestus set his hand over hers, ignoring Ares’s glares. “We are simply too important to fade like that.”

“So were Helios and Selene and who knows how many others,” said Athena. “How can we possibly be sure this isn’t the end of the age of gods?”

“How could it be?” said Hera. “Perhaps some minor gods may be facing the end, but we are indispensable. Mortals still need us.”

“For how long?” said Athena. “For another century? Millennia? How long until they have moved beyond us? Whether we want to acknowledge it or not, we are in danger, and we cannot continue to revel in ignorance. We must figure out why this is happening. If Helios and Selene are missing, there may be others, and our best shot is to find out who is gone and discover a common link.”

“I can help with that,” I said. It would take a while, tracking down every single god and goddess, but if it meant they would start treating me like family instead of a fungus, the time and effort had to be worth it. “And maybe I could go down to the surface as well, see what I can find.”

“Are you sure that is wise?” Hades’s voice seemed to fill the throne room, even though he was practically whispering. “May I remind the council what happened the last time Hermes offered his help where it was not welcome?”

My face grew hot. Who the hell did he think he was, talking to me like that? “Persephone has nothing to do with this,” I said.

“On the contrary. Perhaps if you had not been so engrossed in your affair, you would have done your duties and realized Helios’s and Selene’s absences sooner.”

So we were back to this again. “That was thousands of years ago,” I said through gritted teeth. “I am not Adonis. She did not die for me. Get over it already.”

“I will get over it when we are even,” he said, and a rumble of thunder interrupted my retort.

“Enough,” said Zeus quietly. “Bicker in your own time. Hermes, we will need to know who is still among us and who else has faded as soon as possible. But I do not see what mingling with mortals will accomplish.”

“But Athena just said—”

“Let Athena and the others deal with that,” he said. “You have your orders. Now, for once, do as you are told.”

Yes, I did have my orders: be mindlessly obedient when they needed me, and when they didn’t, shut up and be invisible, because no one wanted me there anyway. I’d been in trouble before—who hasn’t?—but this was a whole new level of punishment. I would’ve taken being banished from Olympus any day over being pushed out of my family.

But I didn’t protest, because it wouldn’t have changed things anyway, and I’d need my strength for this job. Social exile was exhausting enough as it was, and lethargy wasn’t a good look on me.

Zeus handed out a few more jobs, none of which consisted of going down to the surface and actually talking to mortals to see where we stood, and the council adjourned. Seconds later, Zeus floated a scroll toward me. Apparently not even my father wanted to get close enough to touch me.

“A list of every god and goddess we know of,” he said. “If you value your place on the council, you will have your report to me this time tomorrow.”

If I—Was he serious? Was he really going to strip me of my throne if I didn’t get this to him in time?

No, it had to be some kind of mind game. A way to scare me into submission, nothing more. Zeus had worked far too hard to ensure that the council was under his thumb, and if he upset the balance by removing me, Hera would be one vote away from taking the crown.

Then again, maybe he’d use me as an example. Show that anyone who dared to defy him was one swift kick in the ass away from joining Helios and Selene in the unknown. Either way, I didn’t have much time.

I uncurled the scroll, and my eyes nearly popped out of my head. The list was endless. “You want me to find every single person on this list by tomorrow?”

No reply. I looked up, and Zeus’s throne was empty. Perfect. I glanced down at the scroll again and scowled. One day. Countless names. And no one to help me, because the entire council thought I was the plague.

Maybe that’s what Zeus was counting on—I’d fail, and he’d have a valid reason to remove me from Olympus. And if that were the case, maybe I’d be better off a drifter anyway. If I didn’t fade completely.

I wouldn’t go down without a fight, though. Not now, not ever, which meant I had one option in the next twenty-four hours: prove Zeus wrong, no matter how impossible.

Usually I didn’t need sleep. I could go weeks, if not months without it when I wasn’t using my powers—all of us could. But before I was halfway done with that list, I needed sleep more desperately than I’d ever needed anything in my entire life.

I leaned against the golden wall of the throne room, struggling to keep my eyes open. I couldn’t fall asleep. Time was precious enough as it was, and if Zeus knew I’d been sleeping on the job, too—

Right. I liked my ass right where it was, thank you. I leaned forward and forced myself to focus on the list of names. Next up was Pollux. Not too hard to find him and Castor, even though they were on the run, so at least this wouldn’t take much effort.

“How’re you holding up?” Iris crossed the throne room, balancing a tray in her hands.

“I’m seriously considering running away and spending the rest of eternity holed up in the woods,” I said. “What’s that?”

“I brought you some tea. Figured you might need it.”

That was oddly nice of her. Maybe Zeus had laid into her, too. “Thanks,” I said, stretching. She sat beside me, and I picked up the cup and sipped. It wasn’t a solid night’s sleep, but it would do. “I mean it, though. There’s no way I’m finishing this list. Ten hours left, and I’m not even halfway done.”

She smirked, but there was a hint of sympathy behind it, too. “When Zeus fires you, make sure to put in a good word for me, would you?”

It would’ve been funny if it hadn’t been so true, and I glowered into my tea. “Zeus said if I don’t finish in time, I really will be kicked off the council.”

“Zeus likes to say a lot of things. Most of them aren’t true.”

“This is, though.” I nudged the list in her direction. “You didn’t happen to run into any of these gods on your trip, did you?”

She examined the names, and with a wave of her hand, she crossed off well over two dozen. “I know where to find loads more. If you want, I can check out a few places. That’ll cut your list down, as well.”

“You’d really do that for me?” I said. “What about wanting my job?”

Iris shrugged, and a curl escaped from behind her ear. “I’ll take pity on you just this once. Are you serious about running away?”

I leaned my head against the wall. If it were possible for immortals to have headaches, I would’ve had a raging one right about now. “Hermit jokes aside, someone needs to figure out what’s causing all of this. None of the others have spent time with mortals like I have.”

“And yet Zeus won’t let you go?”

“You know how he is. Can’t handle someone else having a better grip on things than he does.”

Iris gave me a look. “So while gods and goddesses are mysteriously dying for reasons the council can’t possibly be sure of, you’re going to listen to Zeus for the first time in your life.”

“He’d track me down the instant he knew I was gone. You know that.”

“Unless …” Her fingers danced over the parchment, an inch from my knee. “Someone kind, generous, thoughtful and extremely beautiful covered for you.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Do you think someone like that actually exists?”