Goddess of the Underworld

Mother faltered. “Sweetheart, please. Tell me what brought this on.”

But I couldn’t. I didn’t know what specific thing was behind the wall of hatred and anger inside me. I didn’t know what made me want to run, but that didn’t make it any less real. “He just—” I shook my head. “It isn’t right.”

“Take it one step at a time,” said Mother in what she must’ve meant to be a soothing voice, but it made me shudder. “If you didn’t enjoy consummating your marriage, that’s natural. The first time is almost never—”

“It isn’t about that.”

“Then what is it about?” She reached for me, but I stepped back. My entire body trembled so badly that I had to struggle to stay upright. It was as if I was fighting an invisible force just by being in the room, and I didn’t know how to stop it.

“I just—I don’t belong there. I don’t know how else to explain it.”

Mother and Zeus exchanged another look, and Zeus cleared his throat. “You will return to the Underworld with Hades, and you will obey him as you would obey me. He is your husband now, and you will not dishonor me by evading your duties. Do you understand?”

My eyes watered until I couldn’t make out his features. But I knew that voice—it was the voice of a king, the one he used when we had absolutely no choice. The voice he’d used to tell me I’d be marrying Hades on my sixteenth birthday no matter how I felt about it.

I couldn’t respond. Every time I opened my mouth, that wall of hatred and resentment was there, and finally I dashed past him and fled the room. I couldn’t do this no matter how often he threatened me, and the fact that he and Mother refused to so much as consider my feelings—it wasn’t fair. I needed to get away from that unyielding revulsion. I needed to get away from my life.

As I ran down the hallway, I nearly barreled headfirst into Hera. Had she been there the entire time? Our eyes locked, and she opened her mouth to say something, but I regained my footing and rushed past her. I didn’t care if she’d overheard. I didn’t care if she empathized with being trapped in a loveless marriage. There was nothing she could possibly say or do to change my parents’ minds, and I didn’t need pity. I needed an escape.

At last I made it to the throne room. A few feet from the portal, Hades waited with Hermes, who wore a bewildered expression. As I stumbled onto the crystal circle, Hades moved to join me, but Hermes darted in front of him, blocking his way. Whatever his reason was, I didn’t have time to find out. I dropped from Olympus, the wind rushing through my hair and whipping it across my face.

Freedom. And free-falling, apparently. I’d never used a portal by myself, and I opened my mouth in a silent scream. So maybe not waiting for Hades hadn’t been the best idea, but I would’ve rather plummeted to earth than let him join me.

I expected a crash landing, the sort that would leave an indentation in the ground for curious mortals to ponder, but as my feet touched the earth, I stopped. No hard landing. No real impact. I didn’t even leave footprints on the grass.

Breathing a sigh of relief, I ran my fingers through my tangled hair and looked around. I stood in a meadow full of purple flowers that danced in the breeze, and it was warm despite the late hour of wherever it was I’d landed. A beautiful summer evening.

Why couldn’t Hades live on the surface? Why did he have to be near his subjects at all times? Zeus certainly wasn’t. I sat down heavily in the middle of the field, passing my hand through the tall grass. This was my home, surrounded by warmth and nature and life. Not encased in stone.

The wind picked up for a moment, and something rustled behind me. Hades, no doubt, coming to reclaim me and drag me back to that dark place. I refused to turn around. He couldn’t have me, not anymore.

“Persephone?”

I exhaled. Not Hades. “Hermes? What are you doing here?”

“You’re upset,” he said as he moved to sit in front of me. We’d grown up together, babies compared to the rest of the council, and seeing him now made me more homesick than ever. “Did Hades hurt you?”

He was the first person to acknowledge that maybe this wasn’t my fault, and my heart swelled in gratitude. “N-no.” I hiccupped. “I just—I can’t go back.”

He took my hands, his fingers smooth and cool. That small gesture of affection was enough to make me break down all over again, and I rested my head on his shoulder as I cried. I hated feeling like this—I hated not having the courage to give Hades a chance. But it wasn’t him. It was the feeling of being suffocated, smothered, burned out before I’d had the chance to live. Why hadn’t I questioned my parents earlier? Why hadn’t I demanded a chance to get to know Hades and the Underworld better? Why hadn’t they given me a choice?

Because they’d known what I would say if they had. They must have. Mother knew me better than I knew myself, and my trust in her—the same trust that had made me take the plunge into this marriage—was too absolute for me to question it before. Even now I second-guessed myself. Was I being hasty? Should I give Hades a chance? Did I even have a choice?

No, and that only made me cry harder. I didn’t have a choice. Whether I liked it or not, I would have to return to the Underworld. Unless—

My eyes flew open, and I sat up. Hermes straightened as well, but I spoke before he could utter a word. “Run away with me.”

His lips formed a perfect circle. “What?”

“You heard me. Run away with me. We can go someplace they’ll never find us, like Aphrodite and Ares did, and—and we can be happy.”

“Wait.” He pulled away from me. “You mean you want—you and me—”

I shivered. After last night, I never wanted to have that sort of relationship with anyone ever again. “No, I mean—as friends. Brother and sister, whatever we are.” We weren’t, technically, since Zeus had taken different forms to father us and we had different mothers. But I needed someone else to love me. I didn’t care what kind of love it was, as long as it meant I could get away from Hades. “Please.”

Hermes hesitated, and I could see the wheels turning in his head. Hope blossomed inside my chest, pushing aside the coldness and despair. He was considering it. He was really considering it.

“Persephone …” He took my hands in his again. “You know I want nothing more than to see you happy, but Zeus already forbade anyone from interfering with your marriage. If we left, Zeus and Hades would both hunt us down, and I’d get a lightning bolt to the skull for sure.”

My heart sank, and that delicate bubble of hope deflated. “He really ordered everyone not to help me?”

Hermes nodded. “I’m sorry. But maybe you and Hades could talk it out. You could just be his queen and not his wife, right? He needs you to help him rule, not warm his bed.”

I squeezed my eyes shut, fighting another wave of tears. I was never getting out of this. Not now, not in a thousand years, not ever. Not as long as Zeus treated me like property and Hades went along with him. “He would never agree,” I whispered.

“So don’t give him a choice.” Hermes tucked a lock of hair behind my ear, his touch so gentle that I shifted closer. “Just tell him. You’re stronger than you think you are, Persephone. Never question that. You can do whatever you set your mind to, circumstances be damned.”

“I wish—” My voice broke, and I swallowed thickly. “I wish I were like Aphrodite. I wish I had the strength to do what she did.”

“Maybe someday you will,” he said. “You just need to find the right person is all. If Hades isn’t it, then there’s nothing wrong with that. This doesn’t have to be forever if you don’t want it to be.”

I snorted despite myself. “Everything in our family is forever.”

“Only the good things,” he said. “We usually find a way to fix the bad ones.”

“Don’t see how anyone would agree to let me off the hook if I don’t even try.”

“Then try. Do whatever you have to do to prove to yourself and the rest of the council that it isn’t a good fit.”

“Hades will never let me go,” I mumbled. “Not now, not in a hundred years, not ever. He loves me.”

“If he really loves you, then once he understands how miserable you are, he will let you go,” said Hermes. “Just because he’s a good guy doesn’t mean he’s a good guy for you.”

I shook my head. “You can say all the pretty things you want, but that won’t change anything.”

“You’re right,” he said. “The only one who can change any of this is you. You just have to try.”

“But I already did.”

“I know. They should’ve listened.” He pulled me into a hug. The weight of his arms around my shoulders was a comfort, and I managed to relax against him. At least I had someone on my side.

A moment later, the breeze picked up again, and I sensed a second presence in the meadow. The sun dipped beneath the horizon, and Hermes stiffened. I didn’t need to turn around to know who it was.

“Please,” I whispered one last desperate time. “I’ll do anything.”

“I can’t. I’m sorry.” Hermes’s voice was low and his words rushed. “Listen—I’ll visit you all the time, I promise. You won’t be alone. Just do me a favor and give yourself a chance, all right? Do whatever you have to do to be happy, even if that means upsetting the council. They’ve already had their say. Now it’s your turn.”

I pressed my lips together. Being that kind of selfish went against everything Mother had taught me. Be there for others; place their happiness above my own; be content with my life; don’t be greedy or envious or unkind; appreciate the warmth and love around me, and don’t covet what I don’t have.