Homespun Christmas

“Sure. Bring the rug by, and let me know what price you’d like to charge.”

“What percentage will you take of the sale?”

“It’s a first offering favor. I’m not charging.”

“That’s really unfair to you, Myka. You take the photos, write the copy and pay for your space online. What’s it called, the...”

“Domain,” Myka said.

“So how about this?” Liza said and quoted Myka a price and the percentage she thought Myka should take. “I think that’s a fair commission for you, isn’t it?”

“Very,” Myka said. “You’ve got yourself a deal.”

After Liza left, Myka realized that Joshua had grown quiet.

“Is something wrong?” she asked.

“I was just thinking that you should consider approaching the others singly, not as a group. They might find it less intimidating if it’s one friend to another.”

“That’s a good idea,” she said.

Hearing an odd noise outside, followed by the sound of sheep bleating, Myka glanced out the window. “Bear!”

Josh was beside her instantly. “Is he harassing the sheep?”

“No, not at all. If anything, he guards them.” She opened the back door.

“Where is he?”

“On the far side of the pen.” She went outside and called the dog’s name. Although she didn’t try to go after him this time, he once again disappeared through the trees.

“It was Bear this time, no mistake?” he asked.

She nodded. “It was him. The sheep sound different—frantic—when they’re scared. The sound you heard was a greeting.” She wiped a tear away quickly, but he saw the gesture.

“Why are you so worried? The dog’s got food and water in two places and the weather’s still in the low fifties at night,” he said.

“You don’t understand. This is about keeping my word to your dad. He trusted me, and I’ve got to find a way to make things right.” Her voice tightened, and she swallowed back the lump in her throat.

“Sometimes things just go wrong. No one’s perfect.”

“This isn’t about perfection. It’s about being able to look at myself in the mirror at the end of the day,” she whispered.

“Do you know what I see when I look at you?” he asked, taking her hand.

She shook her head and waited, almost holding her breath.

“I see a woman who’s done her best for everyone, and who never hesitates to lend a helping hand.”

She smiled. “I appreciate you saying that, but that’s not what I’m going to see until I find Bear.”

“I wouldn’t expect anything less from you,” he said, then kissed her on the forehead. “My dad was very lucky to have a friend like you.”

The tenderness in Joshua’s gaze took her breath away. Her heart ached to feel his arms around her, to feel safe and protected again.

Almost as if he’d read her mind, he pulled her to him. She didn’t resist. It was too tempting, and even if it was only for a moment, she needed to feel wanted for who she was, flaws and all.

His lips brushed hers then, slowly. As his kiss deepened, a sweet fire coursed all through her. It was pure heaven, and she lost herself for one brief moment.

Drawing away at last to take a breath and force herself to think clearly, she stepped back. “We shouldn’t...”

“No, probably not, but we both needed that,” he said. “You and I are connected. We know what it’s like to have our dreams taken away.”

A connection. That’s what she’d felt, but what had given her so much comfort also made her vulnerable. “Maybe that’s true, but it can’t happen again.”

“The problem is that we both want it to.”

His words were open and honest. They stated a fact but made no demands. “We’re both too fragile, Joshua. You’re trying to find a new direction, and I’m fighting to hold on to my life in Independence. We’re on different paths right now. I need to stay here and keep what I have, what I need. You want to leave and find something new, bigger, better.”

“Is that so bad? Living in the past has never worked for me. It never will,” he argued.

“You see? How can we have a relationship when we can’t even agree on what we want beyond today? We can’t afford to get close to each other, not now, maybe not ever.”

“I guess you’re right,” he said, looking away.

They walked around the yard looking for Bear, but there was no sign of him and his tracks disappeared where he’d crossed the road.

Myka checked her watch. “The delivery van will be here soon. I’ve got to finish getting the boxes ready to mail.”

They went back inside, and Josh helped her by sealing boxes with packing tape and sticking on the prepared labels.

After the packages were picked up, she glanced at the grandfather clock and drew in a sharp breath. “Where did this morning go? I’ve got a class here in another hour. I didn’t realize it was already past one.”

“You never told me you were teaching classes,” he said.

“I’m not. The Women’s Guild meets at two the first Friday of every month, and we try to teach each other a new skill. I’ve been learning about colcha embroidery, wool-on-wool work, but I’ve got a long way to go before I turn out anything decent,” she said. “Not that it matters. That’s not the goal of our group.”

“What is?”

“Strengthening our sense of community. There are only a half dozen members left—the others have moved away—so these meetings are more important than ever. It’s our way of lifting each other’s spirits.” She walked him to the door.

“I’ll catch up with you later,” he said, and headed out.

* * *

AN HOUR LATER, as Daniel got something to drink from the fridge, Joshua turned on the light and walked down the hall of his father’s house. He stubbed the toe of his boot against a bookcase that was too large for such a narrow space. It was filled with regional history books, most of them University of New Mexico Press titles.

Josh preferred open spaces—that was why much of his architectural resource materials were on DVDs and other digital storage devices. His dad, on the other hand, had been old school, down to his choice of furnishings. All the rooms were cramped and overflowing with large wooden furniture pieces, most of them handmade.