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Prim, Proper... Pregnant

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2018
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“Physically, he’s doing very well,” Dr. Solomon said.

The shrink, as Ryder called Dr. Bass, added, “I believe the amnesia may be the result of the traumatic events surrounding the accident and his brother’s death. Survivor’s guilt, in other words.”

“But we’ve been so careful to say nothing,” Nina said.

“I don’t think he even knows he was driving,” Jack added.

Amelia said, “He’s been asking a lot of very…difficult questions. I’ve tried to keep the answers positive and upbeat, like you suggested.”

Dr. Bass leaned across the table. “Nevertheless, deep inside his subconscious, he knows. The amnesia may be his way of hiding from the truth. I don’t want his guilt in this matter discussed until he’s had a little more time.”

“I’ve talked to the district attorney,” Dr. Solomon said. “I told him about Ryder’s condition and he agreed to delay any criminal action until Ryder recalls who he is and what happened that night. Frankly, I happen to know the blood alcohol tests administered to both Hogan boys at the clinic were botched. The nurse drew the blood, but an orderly made a mess of things.”

“It’s not the first time we’ve had trouble with that clinic,” Dr. Bass said.

“They’re small and understaffed and way out in the middle of nowhere. Anyway, I can’t see that the state has a leg to stand on. With Ryder’s connections, I don’t imagine finding competent legal help will be a problem.”

“We’ve already talked to Mr. Flanders,” Nina said. “He told us pretty much the same thing you just did. He says everyone at the office knows they’re supposed to be quiet about the details.”

Dr. Bass said, “Good. What I want next is for you all to take him home. Back to your place, Mr. and Mrs. Hogan, back to the old room he slept in as a child.”

Nina groaned.

Jack said, “We moved into a condominium a couple of months ago. We sold the old house. I couldn’t keep it up any longer—”

“And, of course, we never dreamed something like this would happen,” Nina interrupted.

“That’s right,” Jack said, rubbing his chin. His voice grew pained as he added, “Rob moved out years ago, right after college. He went to law school in California and that’s where he set up a practice after he graduated. He had a house in San Francisco. Ryder went to law school in Oregon, but he hasn’t lived at home for five years. He just moved into a new place about a year ago. To tell you the truth, we don’t see all that much of him.”

“Not since you two broke up,” Nina added, looking at Amelia.

“That’s right,” Jack added. “After that, he pretty much kept to himself.”

“He said he was busy,” Nina said with mild reproach.

Amelia tried to look contrite. What she wanted to do was shout, Your rotten son dumped me, not the other way around! He was too busy sleeping with anyone in a skirt to visit you. Don’t blame me!

Dr. Bass tapped his pencil again. “Then that’s where he should return. Maybe it will help jar loose some memories. And you, Mrs. Hogan, had better stay with him for a while.”

Amelia was surprised to see Nina look down at her hands, tears filling her eyes. “I can’t,” she said finally.

Jack said, “Now, honey—”

“No,” she stated flatly, looking right into her husband’s eyes. Then she looked back at the doctors. “We’ve put off going to San Francisco to settle Rob’s estate for too long as it is. We’ve made all the arrangements. We leave tomorrow.”

“I can go alone,” Jack said. “You stay here with Ryder.”

She shook her head defiantly, then she looked at Amelia. “I know this is asking a lot, Amelia, but please, could you stay with Ryder for a couple of weeks? If anyone can bring our son’s memory back, it’s you.” She looked at the doctors and added, “Isn’t that right? Wouldn’t being around the woman he loves, the woman carrying his child, wouldn’t that be what’s best?”

Amelia said, “Oh, Nina, you have no idea what you’re asking—”

“Yes, I do,” Nina said with finality.

It was very clear to Amelia that what Nina was trying to say was that she was afraid to let Jack go alone to San Francisco, that if he did, who knew what might happen to him as he faced the heartwrenching task of going through Rob’s belongings. Nina was being asked the impossible—to choose between her husband and her son, one of whom was physically failing, and the other who currently didn’t know her from Adam. She was telling Amelia that she had made her choice. She was begging Amelia to make that choice tolerable by filling in for her.

Amelia felt caught between the fantasy of the Ryder she had created for his parents and the reality of the real Ryder who would rather never see her again—if he ever remembered how distasteful he had found her only a few days before. Her heart sank at the thought of returning to Ryder’s apartment with him. She hadn’t been there since the night they’d made love, since the night, she realized with a jolt, that their child had been created.

So, how did she say no to people she loved and was concerned for? And how did she turn her back on her baby’s father when he was totally unaware of what a jerk he had been—and undoubtedly would be once more? How would she look her child in the face if she didn’t do right by Ryder?


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