‘Wake up, Ellie.’ The voice was also encouraging. ‘There’s someone here who would love to meet you properly.’
She tried again. Tried really hard because the owner of the voice wanted her to and that made it important to succeed. So important that nothing else mattered for the moment and even the ache deep within was forgotten. And slowly she achieved her goal. Her eyes were open and it was bright. Too bright. Her eyes stung and all she could see was a blur.
A very large, dark blur that reminded her fleetingly of the nasty place she’d been in for ever. The flash of memory was disturbing but the remnant of fear was gone just as quickly, leaving something oddly pleasant in its wake. This blur was like the shadow of that guardian angel. The one she’d tried so hard to catch sight of properly but which had always been just out of reach. Evaporating into the darkness.
The dreamlike wisp evaporated as well as Ellie blinked, adjusting to the light and letting the face swimming above hers come into focus.
Dark hair. Waves that were almost curls with small ends here and there that refused to behave and created a roguish frame for a face that had very definite lines and a jaw that was dark and rough and hadn’t seen a razor for several days.
Dark eyes that were watching her very intently and a mouth that was tilting into a soft smile. The most beautiful smile Ellie had ever seen in her life.
‘Hi, there,’ the voice said. ‘How’re you doing?’
Ellie’s lips felt stiff, as though they hadn’t been used in quite a while. She tried to say something but her throat hurt and the only sound that emerged was a rusty squeak. She swallowed carefully and blinked again. Cautiously but very quickly in the end, just in case this was a dream and the man with the beautiful smile would vanish if she closed her eyelids for too long.
Her head was swirling with incomplete images and thoughts. She knew she was in a bed. In a hospital because she knew that familiar smell so well and there were equally recognisable sounds like the soft beeping of pagers and monitoring equipment. She could see the sharp edges of that equipment in her peripheral vision and she could hear echoes of voices that had long since stopped speaking. Urgent voices. Saying things like ‘massive haemorrhage’ and ‘Trauma One’ and ‘blood group and cross-match. Stat’.
Paralysed by the kaleidoscope happening inside her head, Ellie focused on those intent dark eyes above her.
‘You’re in the intensive care unit,’ the voice said calmly. ‘You’ve been pretty sick for a couple of days but you’re going to be all right. You’re off the ventilator now and your lungs are doing well. So are your kidneys. How’s your throat? It’s probably a bit sore after having a tube in it for so long.’
There was a frown in those eyes now. He was worried about something. Her? That was nice. Ellie liked that she was important enough for him to be worried about her. Maybe he’d smile at her again.
‘I’m Max—remember? You came to the apartment to find Sarah but she wasn’t there. And then you got into trouble. You went into labour and—’
Ellie could feel her eyes widening. Her skin was prickling as though the blanket the voice had provided was being stripped off, leaving her exposed to the elements. The sense of safety was gone, too. She could feel the fear of that awful forest place crowding around her. Something was happening in her brain. An almost painful series of jolts as pieces fell into place.
Sarah. Marcus. Her baby…
‘She’s fine,’ Max said softly. ‘See?’
His head tilted and Ellie’s gaze followed the downward trajectory of his. Down his body to where his arms were cradling something. She couldn’t see what it was until Max tipped forward and there, nestled in blankets, was a tiny face. A sleeping, newborn baby.
‘Oh…’ The sound forced its way past her sore, dry throat. ‘Is that…?’
She knew it was. She could feel it but she needed to be told as well. To make sure she wasn’t dreaming.
‘Sure is,’ Max said. ‘This is your daughter, Ellie. Would you like to hold her?’
Ellie nodded. She couldn’t say anything because her already tight throat was now entirely choked by tears. She could feel them rolling down her face as Max carefully placed the baby on her chest and then helped her move her arms to cradle the infant. He pushed IV tubing attached to her arm to one side and then he looked up, past Ellie.
‘Could you grab an extra pillow or two?’ he asked someone. ‘Let’s try and prop Ellie up a bit more.’
Her arms felt so weak Ellie was frightened she’d let go but Max seemed to understand because he kept his hands on top, supporting her. A nurse came and tucked another pillow beneath her shoulders and an extra one under her head. A rush of dizziness faded and Ellie found she could blink her tears away and actually see her baby properly for the first time.
Her eyes were still closed, a fan of dark lashes sitting on each cheek like butterflies. A tiny button of a nose and a mouth pursed into a perfect cupid’s bow.
‘Isn’t she beautiful?’
There was a note of wonder in his voice and something more. Something that was enough to make Ellie lift her gaze for an instant but Max was intent on the tiny face in her arms and he didn’t look up so she couldn’t get any clue to that confusing undertone.
She didn’t have the energy to try and understand. Didn’t even have the inclination to try because there was something far more important to think about. Something so wonderful that really it was no surprise that Max seemed to share what she couldn’t begin to put into words.
This was her baby.
Her daughter. It was a girl and she was—
‘Is she—?’ Ellie’s voice caught. Suddenly, she was too scared to ask.
‘She’s perfect.’ Max sounded…good grief…proud? ‘Ten little fingers, ten little toes. She’s feeding well. Fifty grams up on two days ago.’
‘What…?’ Again, this was disturbing enough to make her stop feasting her eyes on the perfect features of her baby. ‘My God…how long…?’
‘Have you been in here?’ Max looked up this time and there was sympathy in his eyes as he completed her horrified question. ‘Three days, Ellie. This little button was born at seven minutes past six on Sunday.’
It was too much to take in. Ellie could have accepted feeling like this if she’d been coming round from, say, a general anaesthetic for an emergency Caesarean but her precious baby had been in the world for three whole days without her mother’s knowledge, let alone her care and protection.
Panic was edging closer and Ellie found she was struggling to take a breath. She had to take in enough air to warn Max. To demand that they let her out of this bed so that she could be with her baby and take care of her. Or at least for them to bring the baby in here so that she could watch over her. Every second of every hour.
‘Ellie.’
The tone was firm enough for her to realise this wasn’t the first time he’d said her name. ‘Listen to me.’
The words were a command but were delivered in what was virtually a whisper. What Max was about to say was imperative.
And private.
Gulping like a stranded fish, Ellie blinked frightened tears into submission and fixed her gaze on Max. He took a quick look around them and then back at her.
‘Remember how I told Marcus I was the baby’s father and it made him go away?’
Ellie managed a nod.
‘Well, I told them that here too and everyone believes it.’
That’s what it had been, Ellie realised. That odd note in his voice. The way he’d been holding this tiny baby. He had looked and sounded for all the world like a besotted new father.
So he had been acting? To protect them?
Ellie blinked again, this time in bewilderment. He was either an incredibly good actor or her brain wasn’t functioning at anywhere near normal levels of acuity. No, it had to be acting if everyone else believed it as well.
‘There’s more.’ Max leaned closer. He could have been admiring the baby and he even used the tip of his middle finger to stroke the infant’s cheek gently but his intention seemed to have been to put his mouth close enough to Ellie’s ear to ensure that no one overheard.
‘I didn’t give them your real name,’ he told her. ‘And…um…I wasn’t thinking too straight at the time so I told them…’
He sounded almost embarrassed, Ellie thought. What kind of weird name had he come up with?
‘I told them that your surname was McAdam.’