The Baby Gift: Wishing for a Miracle

‘Him. No, me. Oh, God, I don’t know. I was worried about him after the job because he’d been so quiet and I kind of ambushed him in the car park. And…and it just kind of happened. The thing is, what am I going to do about it?’

‘Why do you have to do anything about it?’

‘Because he’s my partner. The last three months have been the best I’ve ever had and I don’t want to spoil our working relationship. I might have already!’

‘Why? Was it a horrible kiss?’

‘No…’ Julia’s sigh was heartfelt. ‘It was even better than I thought it would be.’

‘Aha!’ Her sister pounced. ‘I knew you fancied him.’

‘Of course I fancy him. Who wouldn’t? He’s gorgeous.’

‘So what’s the problem? You’re a big girl now, Jules. Go for it. Lord knows, a fling would do you the world of good. How long has it been? Two years?’

‘Nearly three.’

‘So this is the perfect opportunity.’

‘Why?’

‘You’ve only got another three months there. More than long enough to find out if it’s a real possibility. An easy way out if it’s not. Life shouldn’t be all work and no play, you know.’

‘That’s rich, coming from you.’ Julia chuckled. Then she sighed. ‘It wouldn’t be just playing,’ she said then. ‘And that’s why I can’t go there. It’s just too scary.’

There was a short silence on the other end of the line. ‘You wouldn’t say that unless there’s something really special about him. You think you’re going to fall in love with him and get hurt again, don’t you?’

‘I’m probably halfway there already,’ Julia groaned. ‘And if I wasn’t before that kiss I certainly am now.’

‘All the more reason to try it out.’

‘I can’t.’ Julia shook her head even though her sister was half a world away from seeing the decisive action. ‘No way. Because he’s special. One of us would end up getting hurt. Probably me. Maybe both of us.’

‘Not necessarily.’

Julia spoke softly. ‘He adores kids, Anne. He’s the perfect father-in-waiting.’

‘Oh-h-h…’

The sound was so full of understanding and sympathy it brought tears to Julia’s eyes.

‘You won’t believe what I said to him after that kiss.’

‘What?’

‘I said…’ Julia had to catch her breath to swallow a sob that was determined to escape. ‘I said that he’d have to marry me now because of what Sister Therese used to say at school. Do you remember? About kissing and babies?’

‘Oh, no!’ But Anne was laughing. ‘Why do you do it to yourself, hon? Every time. Salt in wounds and all that.’

‘It’s the way I deal with stuff. You know that.’

Her sister’s voice was soft. ‘I know you’re not as tough as you like to make out, Jules. I know how much it can hurt.’

‘Better to make jokes than let people feel sorry for me. Or not to tell them and let things go further than is good for anyone involved.’

‘Mac’s not Peter.’

‘No. I doubt there’s anyone on earth that quite matches my ex-fiancé in the creep stakes.’

‘It’s been three years. Maybe it’s time to have a look and see what else is out there. When was the last time you met anyone you were attracted to this much?’

‘Three years.’ Julia gave an unamused huff. ‘Tell you what, if I come across any nice widowers with a few motherless children in tow, I’ll pounce, I promise.’

‘There are plenty of men who could actually handle adoption. Or surrogacy.’

‘Or who would say they can. Where have I heard that before?’ Julia couldn’t help the bitter edge to her voice. ‘And then they’ll turn up two weeks before the wedding and say, “Oops, sorry, babe. I got someone else pregnant and guess what? It is a major after all.”’ Neither could she help the spill of words she’d kept bottled up for so long. ‘“I didn’t realise how amazing being a father was going to be and this is the real thing. I didn’t have to go into some cubicle in a clinic and look at dirty magazines and—”’ Julia stopped abruptly, gave a huge sniff and then cleared her throat. ‘Sorry,’ she added quietly.

‘Don’t be. You should have said all this a long time ago instead of brushing it off and putting on such a brave front.’

‘I guess I’ve been thinking about it all again, thanks to that kiss. No, actually…’ Julia closed her eyes. ‘I’ve been thinking about it since the first day on the job here. Since I saw who I’d be working with. I’ve thought about it every time I’ve seen him with kids. The way he is with them.’

She didn’t notice the way her tone softened. ‘He’s a born dad. You should have seen him today. We had this little girl on the train. Carla, her name was. She was only seven and so scared and then I handed her up to Mac and he just has to look at her and she’s smiling. It was—’

‘Hey, I think I saw that on the news when I walked past someone’s television this morning,’ Anne interrupted. ‘I haven’t had time to check the papers. I knew it was in the UK somewhere but I didn’t realise you were involved.’

‘Yep. It was up between Edinburgh and Inverness. Bang in our patch.’

‘I saw someone dangling off the bridge trying to look in the windows of the carriage. It looked horrific. Was that Mac?’

Julia remembered hearing a helicopter hovering that could well have contained a news crew. ‘It was probably me,’ she admitted. ‘I went down first to assess things.’

‘Oh, my God!’Anne groaned. ‘Don’t tell me it was you who climbed inside the carriage to get people out. Good grief, you must have. You were just telling me about that little girl.’

‘Someone had to,’ Julia said matter-of-factly. ‘And it’s what I do, remember?’

‘How can I forget?’ Julia heard a heavy sigh. ‘I want you home safe and sound, Jules. The sooner the better, thanks.’

‘Stop worrying so much.’

‘It’s what I do, remember? I’m your big sister. I…miss you, kiddo.’

‘I miss you, too.’

Oh, dear. This conversation was supposed to be picking her up after a miserable day of work when she hadn’t been able to find anything to take her mind off Mac. Or that kiss. Or put a stop to the flashes of desire and hope that always spiralled into hopelessness. Now she was going to be feeling homesick on top of heartsick.

‘How are you, anyway?’ she asked brightly. ‘How’s work?’

‘Flat out,’ Anne said co-operatively. ‘We had three cases back to back yesterday and they were all complicated. The biggest was an ostium primum atrial septal defect that extended through both AV valves into the ventricular septum.’