The Oracle Rebounds

Sunday night is Glamour Girl night for me and my friends. It’s our favorite show about rich, spoiled teens and their world of brand names, booze and love triangles. As usual, we’re in Viv’s basement in Park Slope. Some might think we’re a strange mix because we’re all so different. Viv, who’s from a strict Indian home, is an honors student. Amy is a blonde bombshell who’s always looking for a party. Ryan is a metrosexual—a guy who isn’t afraid to add frosty blond tips to his hair and doesn’t mind being compared to Ryan Seacrest. Sharese is a church-going debate-club member who’s never shy about sharing her opinion. As for me, I’m not sure, but I think I’m the one in the middle who brings their different personalities together. I’m also the Oracle of Dating, of course, but Viv is the only one who knows that (and I’d like to keep it that way).

I break the news. There’s dead silence for two seconds. Then…

Viv: “That jerk!”

Ryan: “Good-for-nothing ass clown!”

Sharese: “May all his Jonas Brothers hair fall out!”

Amy: “You’re way better-looking than him anyway.”

At that, I’m slightly comforted, even though I know it’s not true.

“We always thought he was weird,” Sharese says.

“You did?”

They all nod.

“He was too quiet,” Viv says. “It was kind of creepy sometimes.”

“He didn’t know how to dress,” Ryan points out.

I’m surprised by their reaction. I thought they liked Jared. “If you guys didn’t like him, you should’ve told me.”

“It’s not that we didn’t like him,” Sharese says. “We just thought he was weird.”

“No offense, Kayla,” Ryan says, “but you weren’t much fun when you were with him. You never went to parties.”

He’s right about that. Jared preferred that we spend time on our own, and I was happy to just hang out with him. I have to admit, parties mostly lost their appeal because I already had a guy and didn’t need to meet one.

“You’ll find someone else—don’t worry.” Amy smiles. “Maybe a guy on the soccer team?” Amy’s boyfriend, Chad, is on the soccer team, and Amy is a huge fan of the team’s, um, man power.

Viv turns to Amy. “Don’t pressure her to find another guy right away. She needs time to discover herself again.”

“Self-love, huh?” Amy smiles wickedly.

Viv’s eyes flash. “You’re such a perv!”

I laugh. I’m glad I have my friends. Too many girls make the mistake of drifting apart from their friends when they’re in a relationship—a mistake the Oracle always warns people against. Thank goodness I followed my own advice. I need my friends so much right now.

“What you deserve is a hot stone massage,” Ryan says. “Total pampering, total relaxation.”

“I can’t afford that, but I’ll do a mani and pedi.”

Ryan looks skeptical. “That’s all you ever do. You need to work more shifts at the Hole and save some money.”

The Hole, short for Hellhole, is Eddie’s Grocery, where Ryan and I work. I have three four-hour shifts a week and that’s enough for me. My greatest dream is to make enough money as the Oracle of Dating to be able to quit.

“No spa day is worth more time at Eddie’s.” I pick up the remote control.

Amy grabs it from me. “No, wait! Glamour Girl doesn’t start for five minutes and we need to hear more about the breakup. How did he do it?”

“What do you mean, how? He just did it. Over pizza.”

“Did he at least wait until you were finished eating?” Ryan asks.

“No. I was still on my first slice. But I forgot to leave money, so I guess he paid.”

“Damn straight, he should pay!” Sharese says.

“So how did he say it?” Amy asks.

“He said he needed to take a step back and figure stuff out.”

They all wince as if they’ve popped sour candies into their mouths. What Jared said was cliché and we all know it. Taking a step back is the same as needing space or a time-out. It’s almost as bad as “we’ve become different people.” Lots of my clients have had those lines thrown at them and the cliché seems to add to the insult. But then, what’s a guy to say? I’m not attracted to you anymore? You bore me?

“Was that it?” Viv asks. “Is that his only reason?”

“He’s really disappointed about not getting an art scholarship. He somehow blames it on being too into me and not focusing enough on his goals.”

“Maybe he’s trying to punish himself by breaking up with you,” Viv offers.

“Too into you?” Sharese says. “What crap.”

The others agree that it was a lame thing to say. The stupid part of it was, I believed him. But I guess he was just trying to save my pride. Maybe he thought it was kinder to tell me he’d been too into me than not into me enough.

It doesn’t help when Ryan says, “I’m sorry to say this, but he probably met another girl.”

Sharese elbows him. “Nice job upsetting her.”

“Ouch!” He rubs his ribs. “Well, it’s true. It’s better if we prepare her for it.”

“I believe him that there’s no one else, but there could be another girl soon, I know that.” Or would there? If he said he needs to take a step back, wouldn’t that apply to all girls? Maybe not. If I believe that, I’ll be deluding myself.

“You can find someone, too,” Amy says. “A rebound can be a beautiful thing.”

The red numbers on the clock read 12:27 a.m., but I’m nowhere near sleep. I can think of nothing but rebounding.

REbounding.

ReBOUNDING.

I get out of bed and switch my desk light and computer on. I look up rebounding on an online dictionary.

1: To spring or bounce back after hitting something.

2: To recover from a disappointment.