The Marriage Agenda: The Marriage Conspiracy / The Billionaire's Baby Plan

“But, Dekker—”

He stopped her with a look. “I also want you to consider what’s been bothering you the most. Which is how you’re going to afford both good child care and the legal battle that’s coming up. If you marry me, the cost of all that will be no problem. You can hire the best damn lawyers, and you’ll be able to pay for top quality child care. Hell, if you want to stop working altogether, be there full-time for Sam, you could do that, too.”

“Oh, I don’t think so. You know me. I like to work.”

“Does that mean I’ve convinced you?”

She wasn’t ready to admit that yet. “I only said I like to work.”

“So fine. Work. And put Sam in the best day care center in the city.”

She had to admit that his arguments made sense.

But there were a few issues he hadn’t covered—awkward, uncomfortable issues. Issues she felt a little bit embarrassed to bring up, even with her very best friend.

But still, they were issues that needed discussing before they did anything so wild and strange as to marry each other in order to keep Robert Atwood from taking her child.

“Say it,” he said after a few very long minutes in which neither of them had made a sound. “Whatever it is, we can’t deal with it if you won’t get it out there.”

She scrunched up her nose at him. “Well, I know that.”

“Okay, then. Talk.”

“It’s just…”

“What?”

She stared at him, struck by the tone of his voice. He sounded…so excited about this. In the soft glow of starlight he looked eager and intent, his eyes focused hard on her, watching her so closely.

Such earnestness surprised her.

Most of the time it was hard to know what Dekker Smith was feeling. It wasn’t that he hid his emotions, exactly. Just that he guarded them. He kept them in check. He could be warm and funny and gentle and kind. But most of the time he made it seem as though nothing was life-or-death to him. As if he could turn and walk away from anything, that there was nothing—and no one—he really needed to get by.

Of course, she had learned a few years ago how deep his feelings actually went. It had almost killed him when Stacey died.

But still, he didn’t make a habit of letting what was going on inside him show.

Not so right now.

Now he did seem eager. And earnest. And excited. Three words that, until that moment, she would never have used to describe Dekker Smith.

“Jo.” His voice was gruff. “What is it? Damn it, talk to me.”

She made herself say it. “It’s just that, while I do love you and I know that you love me, it is not a man-and-woman kind of love. I guess I’m saying, what about love, Dekker? And, well, what about sex?”

He sent her a look of great patience. “Let’s tackle one insurmountable obstacle at a time, all right?”

“Please don’t make light. I think this is important.”

“I didn’t say it wasn’t.”

“But you—”

“I only meant that we’ll work it out. Day by day, as we go along.”

“Well, Dekker, I’m sorry. But I just can’t.”

“You can’t take it day by day?”

“No, I mean I wouldn’t feel right unless we came to some kind of understanding about what we’re going to do when it comes to…the things that men and women do—and why are you looking at me like you find me amusing?”

“Because I do find you amusing—in a good way.”

“Oh. In a good way, huh?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s supposed to make it all right that you are laughin’ at me?”

“I am not laughing at you.”

She made a humphing sound. “Well, I don’t care. Whatever you’re doing, it’s not going to stop me from talkin’ about this. Sex is a problem, and we have to face it.”

“I disagree. Sex is not a problem. Not right now, anyway, not unless you insist on making it a problem.”

“But…well, I mean, that’s just not us, it’s not what we are together. We are deep and true friends. But we are not lovers.”

“Right. So?”

“Well, even if we didn’t sleep together, if I was married to you, I would be true to you. And I would really hate it if you were not true to me. Marriage, even a marriage for practical reasons, is still a sacred trust, Dekker. A trust that should be respected and…” She could see that he was only waiting for his turn to talk. Fine. “What?” she demanded. “Say it. Go ahead.”

“I would be true to you.”

“You would?”

“Yes.”

“But what if you—”

“Don’t start in with the thousand and one possible reasons I might have for wanting to sleep around. I don’t need to hear them. I said, I’ll be true to you, even though we’re not lovers.”

“But what happens when—”

He cut her off, his voice low. “Fact is, it’s just not that important to me.”

She felt her cheeks warming. “It’s not?”

“Right. It’s not.”