And then she was the one waltzing him backward, around the carved trunk at the end of the bed, to the knotted rag rug that waited beside it.
She pushed him onto the tangled blankets. The bed was high; he had to lift himself up to it, and he did, with little effort, bringing her with him, so she rested on top of him, a tempting pressure all along the length of him.
Until he rolled and captured her beneath him.
“Oh!” Her lids fluttered open and he looked for the briefest, sweetest moment into those honey-brown eyes. “Oh…” And her lashes settled, feather-soft, against her cheeks.
He shut his own eyes and lost himself in the sensation.
Of kissing her. Of touching her.
He slid to the side a little and put his weight on one arm, bringing the other up, laying his hand between her small, soft breasts, feeling the heat of her and beneath that, the strong, hungry beating of her heart.
The buttonholes on the old pajamas were worn and loose. The red plastic buttons slipped free with no difficulty at all. He undid them, one by one, only pausing when he once again got so lost in her kiss he could do nothing but press his mouth tighter to hers.
When all the buttons were undone, he eased the sides of the top open to reveal her beautiful white breasts. He took one in his hand.
“Oh,” she cried, and “Oh!” again, as he positioned the hard, pink little nipple for his mouth.
He took it, closing his lips around it, and she moaned as he caught it lightly in his teeth and flicked his tongue across it, felt the puckered nub of flesh tighten all the more. She arched her back and clutched his head, her fingers threaded in his hair. He drew on her sweetness and more cries escaped her. The pleading, hungry sounds enflamed him, driving him on.
To know her.
In spite of everything, in spite of the lies he’d told
and the harm he would do her. To know her, anyway, in the deepest, most complete way.
To find the truth in spite of himself, here, in this moment, in the dark windowless quiet, with the artifacts of other, long-lost lives all around them.
Here among the ghosts of the past.
His body on fire with her, her scent all around him, her yielding flesh under his hands, his heart pounding out her name, it seemed to him he could sense them, those long-lost souls, that he could feel them.
The pioneers who came before. The hopeful families seeking a brighter future, the miners struck hard by gold fever, scouring streams, digging into mountainsides, after a fortune destined to elude all but a fortunate few. The merchants, the cattle barons, the Shady Lady in her red dress, lounging provocatively against the bar in her sporting house saloon.
They came to Thunder Canyon with desperate ambition, a grasping, undaunted will to match his own. How many found the dreams they sought?
It was too long ago. He would never know.
He only knew that, for this night, in this moment, he held the happiness he’d never understood he was seeking. She was his happiness.
He couldn’t hold her past this night. Cold, hard reality would intrude. He knew that, too.
But for now, for this brief time in this old bed with Katie in his arms, he was someone else.
He was…
Her groom. And she was his sweet mail-order bride, come in on the train intending to marry a stranger—himself—and start a new life with him out here in the raw, untamed West.
They had said their vows before a drunken crowd of well-wishers and the buckboard pulled by the mean old palomino mare had brought them here.
A sudden blizzard had snowed them in, forcing them, with astonishing swiftness, to know each other.
To want each other.
And now, it was finally time. To seal their vows in the age-old way.
Yes, in some cynical corner of his mind, Justin was more than aware that such wild flights of imagination, such absurd leaps of logic, were ridiculous in the extreme.
But right then, with Katie soft and willing in his arms, he believed them, anyway.
And that was the greatest miracle of all: that right then, Justin Caldwell believed.
He captured her other breast in his mouth and she groaned low in her throat, her body arching, offering him more. He moaned in answer, his fingers skimming the creamy flesh of her belly, dipping lower…
“Oh! Oh, yes…”
He murmured soothing, ardent sounds against her breast and he continued to explore the warm, soft curves and hollows of her body.
The pajamas tied at the waist.
Easily dispensed with. He pulled on the tail of the little bow she’d made and the bow gave way. It was a simple matter then to slip his hand beneath the worn flannel…
She gasped and clutched his head tighter against her breast. He drew on her nipple more strongly and her hips began to rock against the lumpy mattress. She moaned, her fingers loosening in his hair. He lifted his head enough to glance up at her sweet face as she tossed her head on the blankets, her dark hair, alive with static, clinging where it rubbed.
He stroked the inward curve of her smooth belly, dipping a finger into her navel.
Her breath caught. She made small, hungry mewing sounds. He wanted to kiss those sounds from her lips.
And he did, letting go of her breast and taking her mouth once more, as his hand slid upward, to caress the sleek flesh high on her stomach, to clasp the side of her slim waist, to trace the lower curve of her ribs where they arched above her midsection.
By then, the sounds from her throat were pleading ones.
He dared to ease his fingers beneath the flannel again, to stroke the silky curls at the place where her soft thighs joined. She stiffened, but only for a moment.
Soon enough, her hips began rocking again.
He dipped farther down, parting the soft curls, easing a finger into her moist cleft. She bucked hard against his hand and he cupped her, steadying her as he kissed her deeply, his own body aching with the need to be buried within her.
No.
Not yet. This part was for her—and, yes, for him, too.
He wanted to feel her give herself over; he wanted to give her satisfaction first, before he took his own.
Right then, as he stroked her, as her body moved in rhythm to his intimate touch, it came to him. Like a blinding, painful light switching on in velvet darkness, he realized…
It wasn’t going to happen.