Confessions of the Heart

He turned slowly to face her, his gaze deep, probing. “You seem familiar to me.” He searched her features, lifting a hand as if to smooth back her hair, but he didn’t touch her even though Anna wanted him to. More than anything. She suddenly ached for his touch. “Have we met before?” he asked in a puzzled voice.

She shook her head, unable to speak. Unable for a moment to even breathe. What was going on here? What was wrong with her? How could she react so strongly to a man she’d just met? How could she want him…when she knew nothing about him?

Something odd happened to her then. The bathroom disappeared, and Anna found herself gazing down into Ben’s smoldering eyes as her hair fell in a curtain around her face. They were in bed, naked, the covers twisted from their lovemaking, their skin shimmering in the afterglow. And he wanted her again. She could see it in his eyes. The passion. The longing. The desperation…

As if lost in the same vision, Ben grabbed her shoulders and pulled her to him, then tangled his fingers in her hair as he lowered his mouth to hers.

But just before their lips touched, Anna gasped and sprang back.

He stared down at her in shock. “My God,” he muttered. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me. It’s just…” He ran a hand across his eyes, as if trying to clear away the vision. “I’m sorry,” he said again. “You probably think I’m some kind of pervert, grabbing you like that. But I swear I’m harmless.”

As harmless as a cobra, maybe.

A door slammed somewhere nearby, and he looked instantly relieved. “That must be Gwen. I’ll go tell her you’re here while you take care of that cut.” He backed toward the door as if he couldn’t get away from her fast enough, but he paused in the hallway, glancing at her anxiously. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

She lifted her chin. “Yes, I’m fine.” She listened to the house for a moment. “The music,” she said softly. “It’s stopped.”

Ben listened, too, and then shrugged. “Thank God for small mercies.” Then he turned on his heel and disappeared.

A YOUNG WOMAN stood arguing with Ben in the dim living room. When she saw Anna hovering in the doorway, however, her anger instantly disappeared and she smiled brilliantly. “You must be Anna. Ben was just telling me you were here. I’m Gwen. We spoke on the phone this morning.”

The first thing that struck Anna about Gwen Draven was her resemblance to her sister. She was a younger version of Katherine Sprague, but without the smoldering eyes, without the full, pouting lips and the hidden passions that, even in Katherine’s photographs, seemed to ooze from her every pore.

Gwen’s beauty was more subtle. And more wholesome somehow. She was only an inch or two taller than Anna and almost as slender, but where Katherine had exuded a steamy sexuality, Gwen radiated vitality. The line of tanned skin between her light blue top and her black low-rider jeans rippled with toned muscle.

Her hair was dark, shoulder-length and choppy, and when she carelessly pushed it back, the glossy strands fell perfectly back into place. She seemed the very epitome of youth, health and beauty, and yet when she approached Anna to offer her hand, there was a glimmer of uncertainty in her hazel eyes.

“I apologize for being late,” she said. “I completely forgot you were coming.”

“No apology necessary. I’ve obviously come at a bad time.” Anna’s gaze shot to Ben’s before she glanced quickly away. It was disturbing seeing him now, a stranger again, when only moments ago… “I’m sorry for the intrusion.”

Gwen waved aside her protests. “Don’t be silly. My sister’s friends are always welcome here.”

Ben had moved slightly away from them, but out of the corner of her eye, Anna saw him whirl, as if something had caught him by surprise.

“You knew Katherine?” His tone sounded startled. “I assumed you were Gwen’s friend.”

“Gwen and I spoke on the phone this morning, but we’d never met until now.” Anna was suddenly experiencing an acute attack of conscience. She’d wanted to meet Katherine’s family, wanted to tell them without telling them what Katherine had done for her. To that end, she’d devised a cover, informing Gwen earlier that she’d gone to the University of Texas with Katherine and had only recently heard about her death.

It was a plausible enough story, Anna supposed. Through her research, she’d discovered they’d both attended UT, and even though Katherine had been in graduate school when Anna was a freshman, it was certainly possible their paths might have crossed at some point. But credible or not, Anna was finding the sham harder to pull off than she’d imagined. She didn’t like deceiving Katherine’s family. They deserved better from her.

But it was too late to change her plans now. Anna couldn’t just blurt out the truth. They didn’t deserve that from her, either. After all, if they’d wanted any contact with her, they would have responded to her letter.

Ben’s gaze was still on Anna, and her skin went hot and cold from the intensity of his stare. “I guess I jumped to conclusions when you said you were here to see Gwen,” he muttered.

“She and Katherine went to UT together,” Gwen explained. “Anna’s been ill and only just recently heard about Katherine’s death. She called this morning to see if she could stop by.” She turned to Anna, lifting a perfectly shaped brow for verification. “Did I get it right?”

She asked the question as if she suspected the story might be a fabrication. Or maybe her suspicions were a figment of Anna’s guilty conscience. She moistened her lips, all too aware of both Gwen and Ben’s scrutiny. “Yes.”

“Were you close?” The edge in his voice sent a chill up Anna’s spine.

“I beg your pardon?”

“You and Katherine. Were you close friends?”

She took a moment to formulate her response. “No, I can’t say that we were,” she said carefully. “But she had a very definite impact on my life.”

“How?” He was scowling now, obviously displeased, but Anna had no idea why. Because of what had almost happened between them in the bathroom?

“It’s…difficult to explain.”

He looked on the verge of challenging her for that explanation, difficult or not, but Gwen said smoothly, “A lot of people have said that about my sister. She had a special way of touching people’s lives. Our father used to say she was like the Pied Piper. Her devotees would follow her anywhere.”

“Exactly how well did you know her?” Ben persisted.

“For God’s sake, you sound as if you’re trying to interrogate the poor woman,” Gwen scolded. “Don’t pay him any attention, Anna. Once a cop, always a cop.” She took Anna’s arm. “Why don’t we sit down?”

She guided Anna to a sofa luxuriously upholstered in a deep green chenille. Tossing aside a leopard-print pillow, she drew her legs underneath her and turned to face Anna. Ben remained standing. He hovered near the windows where the filtered light cast him in an unnatural aura.

Anna watched him for a moment before tearing her gaze away. “I can’t stay long. I just wanted to stop by for a few moments.”

“You can’t go yet,” Gwen protested. “We never have company anymore. Sometimes I think I’ll go out of mind from boredom around here. We used to have people in and out of the house all the time, especially in the summer, when Katherine had her retreats here. Nowadays…well, it’s just not the same without her, is it, Ben?” There was the barest hint of mockery in her tone before she turned her attention back to Anna. “Anyway, you said on the phone you’re an attorney in Houston?”

“Yes, that’s right.”

“Did you and Katherine keep in touch after college?”

Anna paused. “No, not really.”

“Then you’d probably like to hear a little about her life.” Gwen smiled. “She was a tenured professor at the University of St. Agnes in San Antonio and the author of nine novels. Her books weren’t all that successful from a commercial standpoint, but they acquired a certain amount of critical acclaim, and over the years, she developed something of a cult following.”

“I’ve read her books and enjoyed them very much.” Anna was relieved that at last there was a ring of truth in her voice.

“Ben is a writer, too, you know. That’s how he and my sister met.”

He turned from the window with an impatient gesture. “I’m not a writer.”

“Yes, well, the only bestseller in this house has your name on it.” Was that a touch of resentment in Gwen’s voice?

Ben frowned. “That doesn’t make me a writer.”

“No,” Gwen agreed. “But it made you a lot of money, didn’t it? Not that you need it now,” she added under her breath. She glanced back at Anna. “He and Katherine met at one of Ben’s signings in Houston. It was at a little bookstore on South Main. Maybe you know it.”

“No need to bore her with the details,” Ben said dryly.

“Oh, don’t be silly. What woman doesn’t enjoy hearing a good love story? Especially one that involves love at first sight.” She gave Anna a sly smile. “Katherine used to go on and on about how their eyes met across the crowded bookstore…and then later, how they couldn’t keep their hands off each other. It was a real fairy-tale romance. My sister was a very lucky woman, Anna.”

So lucky she’d felt compelled to take her own life, Anna thought.