Fade To Black

With shaking fingers, Jessica pulled the makings of a sandwich from the refrigerator and placed each item carefully on the counter. “So…what do you think?” she asked, not daring to meet her brother’s eyes. He’d already seen more than she would have wanted him to. Her reaction when she’d first seen Pierce at the door had been purely spontaneous, an overreaction to the tumultuous emotions racing through her. She hadn’t stopped to think about what she was doing, about the wrong signals she might be sending to Pierce.

Now she did stop to think, and she regretted the embrace because it had instantly created a bond between them, an intimacy that was far more than she could deal with right now. She was glad Pierce was alive. More than glad. Joyful. Thankful. They’d conceived a son together. But the years apart had been longer than the years they’d had together. There was no way they could ever go back to what they’d once had.

She hoped to God Pierce understood that.

Jay got up and carried his cup across the room to the coffeepot. He poured himself a fresh cup, took a tentative sip, and grimaced. “Damn, Jesse, I wish you’d learn to make a decent cup of coffee.”

“My mind was elsewhere, okay?” she snapped.

“Hey, don’t bite my head off. I’m an innocent bystander in all this.”

“Sorry.” She dropped down at the kitchen table and propped her chin in her hand. “What am I supposed to do?” she asked in desperation. “I don’t even know him anymore, and he doesn’t know me. I don’t know where he’s been, what he’s done, why he’s back. I’m not even the same person he left five years ago. I’ve grown up. I’ve taken charge of my life. I don’t—”

“Need him anymore?” Jay nodded. “I’m sure he’ll find that out soon enough, if he sticks around.”

“What do you mean if?” Jessica raked impatient fingers through her hair as she stared at her brother. “You think he’s going to leave me…leave again?”

Jay shrugged as he brought his coffee to the table and sat down again. “Let’s just say I’m trying to keep an open mind. Wherever he’s been, he’s had trouble. You only have to look at him to know that much. What I can’t help wondering is what kind. And if he’s bringing it back here with him.”

Jessica’s silver gaze rested on Jay’s stern countenance. “Meaning he could be on the run?”

Her brother merely shrugged as he lifted the cup to his lips. But his gray eyes were darkened with worry. “Max is next door with Sharon, right?”

His tone was a little too casual. Jessica found herself shivering with an eerie premonition as she nodded. “She called earlier and asked if he could stay the night. Under the circumstances, I thought it was a good idea.”

“So do I.”

Their gazes met again, and Jessica saw her own uneasiness mirrored in Jay’s eyes. But before either of them could speak, the kitchen door swung inward and Pierce stepped into the room.

Jessica’s gaze instantly collided with his. He looked better, she had to admit. Much better. His dark hair, still glistening with dampness, had been carefully combed and the days-old growth of beard had been scraped away, accentuating even more dramatically the white scar down his cheek, the deep creases around his eyes and mouth.

The jeans he’d put on were old and worn, a pair he used to favor for puttering around the house. But even though they were frayed at the hem and shiny at the knees, they were far better than the disreputable pair he’d discarded. They hung loosely on his gaunt frame, reminding Jessica of how snugly they had once fitted him, how sexy he’d always looked in them.

He wore a blue cotton shirt—sleeves rolled up, tail out—that triggered yet another memory for Jessica. He’d worn a blue shirt the day he’d disappeared. Had he remembered that, too, or was his selection an ironic coincidence?

He returned her appraisal, the deep brown eyes warm and seeking as they moved slowly over her face and then downward. Her own jeans fitted a little too snugly. She’d always been pencil thin, but after Max was born, she’d filled out and had never been able to drop the extra ten pounds. Actually, she’d always been happy with the added weight, but now she found herself wondering what Pierce thought.

The sudden warmth spiraling through her veins shocked her. And scared her. It had been a long time since she’d felt sexual desire. Not since Pierce had left. Sex with him had been wonderful because it was with him. But before she’d met him and after he’d left, abstinence had never been a problem for her.

Pierce had always teased her that she was like a car engine on a frosty morning. She had to be warmed up properly to get the best mileage. Jessica’s cheeks heated at the memory.

Finally breaking eye contact, she jumped up from the table and busily began assembling his sandwich. Pierce sat down at the table across from Jay, and the two men eyed each other stonily, reminding Jessica that, to her despair, they’d never been the best of friends. She placed the plate in front of Pierce, and their hands touched briefly before Jessica drew hers back.

“What would you like to drink?” she asked in a brisk tone.

“It’s been a long time since I’ve had a beer,” he suggested with a smile that sent a new wave of awareness washing over her.

“How would you know that?” Jay asked quietly. “I thought you lost your memory.”

Pierce’s head swiveled so that his eyes met Jessica’s. “It’s just an impression, not a memory. I think I’ve done without a lot of things.”

The bottle almost slipped from Jessica’s fingers. Hands shaking, she poured the beer into a mug and set it beside Pierce’s plate, careful this time to avoid his touch. She sat down at the table and watched him attack the sandwich.

His appetite seemed ravenous, though she could tell he tried to curb his urgency. The sandwich disappeared in seconds.

“Would you like another one?” she asked softly, her heart feeling as if it would break in two.

The idea of seconds seemed to shock him for a moment. Then he said, “If you’re sure it wouldn’t be too much trouble.”

It took Jessica a long time to make the second sandwich. She stood at the counter, her back to the men as she tried to gather her shattered poise. But as soon as she wiped away the silent tears from her face, a new batch would take their place. Instinctively she knew she wouldn’t let him see her pity. That was the worst thing she could do to a man like Pierce.

At last, sniffing as unobtrusively as she could, Jessica placed the sandwich on the table and said hurriedly, “If you’ll excuse me for a moment, I, uh, have something to do in the other room.”

She all but fled the kitchen, leaving dead silence in her wake.

After a few seconds, Pierce picked up the other sandwich and began eating. Jay reached into the inside pocket of his jacket and withdrew a pack of cigarettes and lit up, leisurely blowing a thin stream of smoke skyward.

“I thought you’d quit,” Pierce said as he eyed his brother-in-law curiously.

“I’ve quit several times since you left. If I hadn’t already started again this last time, I’m sure I would have after tonight.”

Pierce’s brows arched. “I’m glad I don’t have to take the responsibility then.”

Jay blew a trail of smoke from the corner of his mouth as he spoke. “What about your other responsibilities? You as anxious to dismiss those?”

“Meaning?”

“Jessica and Max. You left them high and dry five years ago. If it wasn’t for Jesse’s grit and determination, I’m not sure what they would have done.”

“You don’t have to remind me of my responsibilities to my wife and son. I’ll take care of them from now on.”

Jay crushed his cigarette in his saucer as he stared at Pierce. “You still don’t get it, do you? They don’t need you to take care of them. Jesse’s managed just fine without you. More than fine. The business you left behind is booming, thanks to her. This house is worth a small fortune, and Max, well, Max won’t even know you, will he?”

It was a reality Pierce had been trying to come to terms with since he’d stared into those wide, accusing eyes this morning. Max. How strange that Jessica had named him that after she’d fought him so hard about it. It gave Pierce a small thrill of happiness to know that even after he’d left, Jessica had still wanted to please him.

“Look.” Jay folded his arms on the table and leaned toward Pierce. “Let’s cut through the crap, shall we? This memory business may work with Jesse, but it won’t wash with me. I can recognize a man in trouble when I see one, and I’d say you, my friend, are definitely in trouble. You don’t have to tell me what, you don’t have to tell me how or when or who. All you have to tell me, Kincaid, is why? Why did you come back here?”

“This is my home.”

“Was your home.”

Brown eyes challenged gray. It gratified Pierce to see Jay glance away first. He’d always thought his brother-in-law a little too cocky, a little too self-possessed. Pierce could spot a phony when he saw one, but he’d never had the heart to tell Jesse just how one-sided her sibling devotion was.

“This is my home,” he said, feeling the warmth of anger stealing over him. “I don’t have to justify myself to you. I may owe Jesse an explanation, one I don’t have at the moment, but let’s get one thing straight. I don’t owe you a damned thing.”

The air buzzed with tension. Jay’s gray eyes glinted with steely anger as he half rose from his seat. The unspoken challenge lay in the air between them like a gauntlet thrown to the ground. Slowly Pierce stood up.

“What’s going on in here?”