“That’s not what I meant.” DJ heard Wyatt’s footsteps behind him. “What I’m trying to say is, I understand. I—” Wyatt swallowed. “I hate to admit it, but I agree. He’s a tough kid, but he needs this done.”
“Yeah.” DJ knew both those things.
“And so do you.” Wyatt’s big hand clamped DJ’s shoulder reassuringly. “You need this, too.” DJ didn’t even want to think about that piece of the screwed-up puzzle.
“Dad! Uncle Wyatt!” Tyler’s voice broke the quiet of the barn. DJ looked back at Wyatt. He hoped that Tyler hadn’t overheard what they were talking about—he wanted a little more time to formulate the words.
“In here,” DJ called, watching as Tyler came running into the tack room, his too-big cowboy boots clumping against the packed dirt. Tyler was out of breath and tried to talk and breathe all at once. “Slow down, buddy.”
“I... A...hawk. It just—” Tyler flapped his hands in the air, imitating a bird. “Swooped down. Like this. It got one of the doves!” His voice cracked. “It was cool. But—” The boy struggled with the contradiction between the wonder of life and death.
Wyatt didn’t speak, staying quiet, letting DJ take the lead. While it thrilled DJ to be able to deal with his son...it also scared the hell out of him. What if he messed up? What if he said the wrong thing? He tried to remember being eight.
“It’s cool and creepy all at once, huh?”
“Yeah.” Tyler nodded and settled on the bench next to Wyatt. “Whatcha doin’?”
Wyatt glanced up at DJ, then back down at the boy. “Cleaning tack. Want to help?”
“Sure.”
Carefully, Wyatt explained what to do. Tyler was awkward, but eager. And Wyatt simply waited and guided. DJ wondered if he’d ever have his brother’s patience and skill with the boy. He shook his head. “Ty?” he asked.
“Yeah.”
“The other night, when we were talking on the porch, I know you were tired. But you remember what we talked about?”
Tyler didn’t speak or look up from the strip of leather—it looked huge in his small hands.
“Well, I was talking with Wyatt about it.”
That made Tyler look up. The panic in his eyes tore through DJ, but instead of making him rethink his decision, it only strengthened his resolve.
“Do you remember what I said?”
Tyler nodded and looked down. DJ heard him sniff and almost changed his mind. Wyatt held back, which he knew was killing his older brother, but DJ appreciated it. Slowly, painfully, DJ hunkered down beside his son. The dirt dug into his injured knees but he endured the discomfort. “I can’t ignore what you told me.” DJ settled his big hand on Tyler’s leg. “I just told Wyatt that I’m worried about your mom. I bet you are, too, right?”
Tyler simply nodded and shoved a fist across his eyes before looking up, his gaze bouncing back and forth between the two men.
Wyatt remained quiet, his jaw clenched. DJ wished he could be the silent one. Dread washed over him.
“I was hoping you’d help me find her.”
Silence stretched out. “What if she doesn’t want to come back?” Tyler finally whispered. “She shoulda been back by now.”
“Maybe.” DJ thought the same thing, but heck, who knew why she’d left Tyler. Maybe she couldn’t come back. He didn’t want to think about that, and he certainly didn’t want to voice his concerns to his son. “Let’s cross that bridge when we get to it, okay?”
“’Kay. What are we gonna do?”
The silence was heavy, and DJ briefly worried that he might not be able to find her. That was a scary prospect and one he wasn’t willing to accept. He’d found devious militants hiding in remote caves in the mountains. He could find one woman.
“We aren’t.” DJ hated himself for the disappointment that took over Tyler’s young face. “I am.” He knew Tyler thought he and Wyatt were the cavalry, and that they could do just about anything. He hated shattering that hero worship.
“You can’t go without me!” Tyler cried and jumped off the bench. “I won’t tell you anything unless you let me go with you.” He stomped an oversize cowboy boot with little effect.
“Tyler.” Wyatt finally spoke up. “Listen to your dad for a minute.”
“I don’t want to.”
“Want doesn’t have anything to do with it.” Wyatt’s voice grew stern and Tyler quieted.
Slowly, Tyler trudged back to the bench. His bottom lip quivered, but he didn’t give in. “How will you know where to look?”
“I’m gonna start with everything you know. Then I’m going to call a couple of my marine buddies to help.”
Tyler’s eyes lit up. “You’re gonna call in the marines to find my mom?”
DJ met Wyatt’s gaze. It wasn’t quite what he’d meant, but if it worked to get Tyler’s cooperation, he’d let him believe anything.
“Cool!” Tyler said, then he surprised and pleased DJ with a hug before running out of the barn.
Wyatt waited until Tyler was out of earshot before he spoke again. “I’m okay with it, but you’d better tell everyone else. I’m not filling them in.”
“Afraid of Addie’s wrath, are you?” DJ only halfway teased—they were both aware of their oldest sister’s strong personality.
“Damn straight I am. You’d better be, too.” They both laughed and followed Tyler to the house. “He’s probably already told them all. Be prepared.”
Wyatt’s farmhouse was big enough for the whole Hawkins family. The oversize country kitchen was loud with all the voices. No one said anything to him as he entered, but DJ saw the sideways glances. He wasn’t even surprised when everyone settled expectantly in the living room after dinner.
As a kid, DJ had hated the big family meetings, so it was with a healthy dose of chagrin that he realized he was the cause of this one.
The last time they’d all been together had been at Mom’s funeral, though most of them had managed to show up at the meeting when he’d been discharged from the hospital.
Poor Emily. He glanced over at the pretty judge who was perched on the arm of the couch next to Wyatt. The whole bunch of them had probably scared her half to death at first. Though she seemed used to them all now and didn’t seem too spooked. Maybe it was because she only had eyes for Wyatt these days. And the sappy look on his brother’s face said he was pleased about the whole thing.
DJ dragged one of the dining chairs from the kitchen, knowing there weren’t enough seats, and he couldn’t sit on the soft couch and stand back up without the help of the solid chair. He settled just inside the doorway.
He took in everyone around him. They all looked good. The big homemade meal the girls had put together was delicious, with Addie’s famous cookies to cap it off. Tyler had gone to the barn with Chet, the ranch foreman, to help put the animals down for the night. DJ knew what was coming next, and he wasn’t disappointed.
“What’s Tyler talking about?” Addie started the conversation. Her gaze found DJ.
“What do you mean?”
“Don’t even try to act innocent, David James. He said you were going to look for his mother?”
DJ looked around. Every eye in the place was on him. Despite the fact that he loved each one of them, his stomach flipped. He really didn’t want to get into this. He’d been on his own for years—hell, he’d been overseas fighting a war. Why did facing off with Addie scare him more than staring down a terrorist?
He sat up straighter and looked directly at his oldest sister. “He’s right. I’m going to find Tammie.”