Lord Hawkridge's Secret

Sarah frowned. ‘You must have been very young.’

‘I was. But then I’d loved Sebastian Hawkridge all my life. I simply adored him when I was a child, used to follow him about everywhere. He was our nearest neighbour, and my mother’s godson.’

‘What happened?’ Sarah asked gently, and for a moment thought she was destined to learn nothing further.

But then Emily said, ‘As you know, when I was fifteen my mother insisted that I spend a year at that seminary in Bath. At the time, I assumed she did so because I was something of a tomboy, behaving in a less than commendable fashion on occasions. I realise now of course that the real reason was because she knew she was dying. During my visits home, she succeeded in concealing her illness remarkably well, but when I returned permanently, after the year at school, I realised just how ill she was. She didn’t wish me to come and live here. She had always been very fond of her father-in-law, but considered him totally unsuitable to look after a sixteen-year-old girl. But she judged Sebastian, almost nine years my senior, more than capable. What she didn’t know, and I discovered quite by chance, only a matter of a few months before she died, was that Seb was in love with someone else. Even so, he willingly agreed to marry me. The engagement was strictly private, and known to very few, and the wedding had been arranged for late August. But my mother’s death, quite naturally, changed everything.’

Although she had spoken without betraying any of the searing hurt which even now could well up at a moment’s notice, Emily was unable to suppress a heartfelt sigh. ‘I went to see my betrothed, a week after my mother’s funeral, and told him I couldn’t go through with the wedding, that I had only agreed to marry him because my mother had been so set on the idea. I said that I thought I was too young to know my own mind, and that I would much prefer to live with my grandfather than marry.’

‘And the gentleman in question believed you?’

‘Oh, yes—he believed me. And I haven’t set eyes on him since the day he came to see me off in my grandfather’s carriage, although he continues to write to me from time to time.’

‘Oh, Em. I’m so sorry.’ No one could have doubted Sarah’s sympathy. ‘I had no idea. And did your former fiancé marry the woman he loved?’

‘Sadly, no. And I have often speculated on why not. Perhaps he considered, as she was engaged by that time, that it was too late to offer himself as a candidate for her hand, and things were better left as they were. She married a certain Baronet a few weeks after I came to live with Grandfather. I had thought that Sebastian might meet another young woman who would capture his interest, but seemingly he has not. In fact since coming into his title he appears, if what the gossip columns contain is true, to have acquired rather rakish habits.’ She gave a shout of laughter. ‘What a lucky escape I had!’

Sarah frowned. ‘But if he hasn’t met anyone else, Emily, perhaps he still retains a sincere regard for you.’

‘Oh, I’m sure he does. If we had married, I’m certain too we’d have rubbed along together quite wonderfully well. Unfortunately I was, and still am for that matter, far too proud to figure as second-best in any man’s life, merely a substitute for what he really wanted.’

Emily waved a hand in a dismissive gesture. ‘I have yet to meet anyone who could take Sebastian’s place in my heart and I doubt I ever shall. My case is hopeless, I fear. But yours isn’t.’ Eyes which had been dimmed by sadness and bitter regrets were unexpectedly brightened by a hint of mischief. ‘Charles, I honestly suspect, cares more deeply for you than he realises. All you need to do is be patient and wait. I’m certain eventually he will come to appreciate the depths of his own feelings.’

‘I’m afraid my case too is hopeless. I know Charles is very fond of me, but I have little to offer him.’

‘You underrate yourself,’ Emily countered. ‘What’s more, you and Charles are perfectly suited. You are both easygoing souls, happy to live a quiet country life. All Charles really wants is a comfortable home which is run efficiently. And who better to fill his needs than you? After all, you’ve been doing precisely that since you went to live at Deverel Hall.’

Sarah smiled wanly. ‘I know I could make him happy, if only…’

‘Don’t abandon hope,’ Emily warned gently. ‘It will create a void that nothing can fill. Believe me, I know.’

Although Emily and Sarah were blissfully unaware of the fact, the subjects under discussion were only a few miles from Deverel Hall. The journey from the capital had been made in record time, and in immense comfort, owing to the fact that they had travelled in the well-sprung travelling carriage belonging to Lord Hawkridge.

‘I must say, Seb,’ Charles Deverel remarked, drawing his gaze away from the pleasing sight of very familiar landscape flashing past the window, ‘I’m glad we consigned our valets and baggage to my carriage and made the trip in yours. This is a superb turnout you have here. Never had such a comfortable journey in my life!’

‘It is merely one of the benefits of becoming the head of the family, dear boy, as you very well know,’ was the languid response.

Charles regarded his friend in silence. Like most of Lord Hawkridge’s close friends, he knew that Sebastian had been entirely contented living the comfortable life of a wealthy country gentleman in the fine property his father had left him in Hampshire, where he had been happy to indulge his passion for outdoor pursuits. Which made his drastically altered lifestyle in recent years somewhat hard to comprehend.

From what Charles understood, his friend now seemed to spend most of his time in the capital, accepting invitations to a seemingly endless round of parties, balls and soirées, and indulging in various dalliances with a number of society beauties, as well as enjoying more intimate relationships with several notorious Cyprians. On the surface it appeared that he had changed out of all recognition, but Charles couldn’t help thinking that deep down he was still the same solid, reliable and trustworthy fellow he had known during those years at Oxford.

‘I must say, Seb, I was rather surprised that you changed your mind and decided to honour our little affair down here with your presence. It won’t be one of those spectacularly lavish and fashionable parties you’ve grown accustomed to attending in recent years—just a small, informal do with a few close friends and neighbours.’

Lord Hawkridge held his friend’s slightly troubled gaze levelly. ‘Do you imagine I’ve grown so high in the instep that I think myself above attending a country party?’

‘Not a bit of it!’ Charles hurriedly assured him. ‘Fact of the matter is I’m surprised that you seem to spend most of your time in the capital these days.’

‘And that is precisely why I decided it was time for a change.’

Once again Charles regarded his companion in silence, before saying, ‘You never wished for the title did you, old fellow? In my case it was different, of course. I was raised for the express purpose of stepping into my sire’s boots when the time came.’

Lord Hawkridge reached into the pocket of his immaculate jacket, which clearly betrayed the hand of a master tailor, and drew out a snuffbox. ‘No,’ he admitted, after sampling its contents. ‘Both of my cousins losing their lives in that boating accident came as a shock. But as I was next in line I was given little choice in the matter. During the past few years I’ve grown accustomed to losing those whom I hold most dear. That is why I now live life to the full. One never knows just when the Grim Reaper might come knocking on one’s door. He can be quite indiscriminate and appears to choose those who are most undeserving to have their lives cut short.’

Charles wasn’t slow to understand. ‘You’re thinking of dear old Simon, aren’t you?’

‘Among others, yes,’ his lordship admitted.

‘The authorities never discovered who held up the coach, stole the necklace and killed poor Elizabeth, did they?’

‘No.’

Charles shook his head sadly. ‘Poor Simon, he never recovered from his wife’s death.’

‘No, he never did,’ Lord Hawkridge confirmed. ‘Had I known what he intended to do that night, I would have taken steps to prevent him. The loss of the necklace meant nothing to him; Elizabeth meant everything. But he might have recovered in time.’

The bitter regret in the deep, attractive voice was not hard to detect. ‘Surely you don’t hold yourself in any way to blame?’ Charles enquired. ‘How could you possibly have guessed that poor Simon meant to put a bullet through his brain?’

There was a bitter set now to his lordship’s generous mouth. ‘One is always left wondering if one could have done more.’

‘Put it from your mind,’ Charles urged him, as the carriage slowed to turn into Deverel Hall’s impressive gateway. ‘Ah, we’re here! Let us hope the ladies have everything organised. At least I know I can always rely on Sarah.’

As Lord Hawkridge had no idea to whom his friend was referring he refrained from comment, and merely accompanied Charles into the well-proportioned Restoration mansion which put him in mind of the ancestral home he had inherited in Kent, both buildings having been designed and constructed by the same architect.

Although he had known Charles for more than a decade, Sebastian had never visited the Deverels’ country estate before. Nor, apart from the late Sir Augustus Deverel who, unlike his son, had enjoyed paying regular visits to the capital, had he met any other member of the family.

His lordship’s address was excellent, and in recent years had been polished to such a degree that he had little difficulty in flattering the most formidable matrons. Consequently it was a simple matter to bring a tinge of colour to the plump cheeks of the Dowager Lady Deverel whose faint claim to beauty had long since faded.

He had no need to flatter the golden-haired girl seated beside her mother, for she was undoubtedly a diamond of the first water and, unless he much mistook the matter, Miss Drusilla Deverel knew this very well.

‘I apologise, ma’am, if my unexpected arrival has inconvenienced you in any way,’ he remarked, returning his attention to the Dowager, before lowering his tall frame into the chair positioned directly opposite the sofa on which the ladies were seated.

‘Not at all, sir. Two of Drusilla’s friends can easily share a room. Most of our guests are not arriving until tomorrow. But we are expecting several to turn up later today, so I can safely promise some jolly company at dinner.’

‘You sound as if everything is well in hand for the party, Mama,’ Charles remarked, drawing her attention away from the gentleman whose name she had mentally added to the list of those whom she would be very happy to call son-in-law.

‘Oh, yes, dear. Everything is arranged.’

‘And no thanks to Sarah,’ Drusilla put in petulantly, the result of which, her mother noticed, not only brought a swift look of disapproval to her son’s handsome face, but unfortunately drew a slight frown to the very eligible Baron’s intelligent brow.

‘That is hardly fair, dear,’ she countered swiftly. ‘You’ve Sarah to thank for arranging almost everything. And she was even kind enough to give up her room so that you could invite more people than was originally planned.’

‘What’s this?’ her son demanded, suddenly alert. ‘I thought we’d agreed that in the circumstances it was to be only a small affair?’

‘Well, yes, Charles, we did. But you must remember that poor Drusilla has had to forgo the pleasures of a Season. And when we began to make a list of those we knew we simply must invite, the numbers just seemed to swell.’

‘How many have you invited?’ he demanded, frowning suspiciously.

‘One hundred and fifty,’ Drusilla enlightened him, looking very well pleased. ‘It will be a splendid party, not the shabby little affair you had planned, Charles.’