A Mother’s Spirit

‘Important enough to put a frown on your face.’

Joe sighed. ‘Well, I suppose I might as well tell you,’ he said. ‘I was remembering a time when my brother and I would play the Irish music at home. He played fiddle or violin as you call it, and I would play the tin whistle and our sister Aggie would dance.’

‘I never heard you mention anyone called Aggie,’ Gloria said. ‘I thought you only had the one sister Nuala who worked for the Protestant people near your home in Buncrana. And then in the Troubles she went with them to their second home in England and never came back. You never said why not.’

‘I’ll tell you about Nuala another day,’ Joe said. ‘It was my elder sister, Aggie, that used to do the dancing and,’ he added grimly, ‘she disappeared off the face of the earth at fifteen years old.’

Gloria’s eyes grew wide with surprise. ‘Why did she do that?’

‘Because she was raped by the dancing teacher,’ Joe said simply. ‘When Aggie discovered she was expecting the man’s baby she knew she would have to leave her home, because for an unmarried girl to have a baby is just about the worst thing in the world to those over in Ireland.’

Gloria was incensed. ‘That is monstrous. What of your parents?’

‘They knew nothing,’ Joe said. ‘And they were never told. Tom is the only one who knew all about it and he told me just before I came here. The man McAllister said he would deal with things and Tom said he was sure that he was sending Aggie to his sister in a place called Birmingham in England. Aggie agreed to go to save the family’s shame. From the night Tom saw her being driven off in the man’s cart in the early hours of the morning, he hasn’t a clue what happened to her.’

‘What a perfectly dreadful story,’ Gloria said. ‘That poor, poor girl, driven to such lengths. I know such things go on and the man is seldom held responsible for anything, but I have never met anyone affected in such a way.’

‘And it gets worse,’ Joe said. ‘The dancing teacher died shortly afterwards and when the man’s wife contacted his sister to come to the funeral, the letter was returned saying she didn’t live there any more, so Aggie truly did disappear into thin air. That thought haunted Tom for years. He wonders if he could have handled things differently, but he was only thirteen himself.’

Norah noted Joe’s doleful face and she said gently, ‘However dreadful it is, Joe, you must put it out of your mind because all the fretting and worrying in the world cannot change what is past and gone.’

‘You’re right, of course,’ Joe said. ‘And I really have got quite enough to worry about now without looking for other things I can have no control over.’

Gloria knew that was only too true for despite the daily soup ration, life was still a struggle, but she was glad that Joe had told her about his sister Aggie. It was good to share burdens. And so she would get him to tell her about his other sister, Nuala, too. There was another mystery there, she was sure.

October was drawing to a close when Gloria suddenly leaped out of bed one morning and just made the chamber pot in time, for the nausea had risen inside her as soon as she’d opened her eyes.

Joe looked across at her with his eyebrows raised. ‘What was that all about?’ he said. ‘It couldn’t have been something you ate. You eat so little.’

Gloria shrugged. ‘Could have been anything,’ she said. ‘I am fine now, anyway.’

In fact she felt far from fine, but Joe couldn’t afford to lose time from the job at the docks that he had had for three days now, and she waited till the door had closed behind him before she allowed herself the luxury of a groan.

Gloria was sick the next day and the day after that, and Joe was beside himself with worry. He was still at the docks and well liked because he worked hard and never refused to do anything. He would work till the job was done whatever time it was, so sometimes the hours were long. He knew that if he didn’t go in one day someone else would take his place, and yet he was so worried about Gloria he wanted to stay at home and have the doctor brought out.

Norah wouldn’t hear of it. ‘D’you think I can’t look after my own daughter?’

‘You’ll call the doctor out to have a look at her?’ Joe asked, as he hovered at the door, worry lines creasing his forehead.

‘I will if I think it necessary,’ Norah said. ‘Now, for God’s sake, will you go to work before someone else is given your job?’

The door had barely closed behind Joe when Norah looked at her daughter and said, ‘You couldn’t be pregnant, could you? I know you haven’t had your monthlies for ages.’

‘They have stopped before when I haven’t had much to eat for a while.’

‘But you have a big bowl of soup every day at least,’ Norah said. ‘And there is a sort of bloom to your face that wasn’t there before.’