Love Me Tender

Eventually Kathy and Maggie were both up and about again. Their two boys were placid and good sleepers. In contrast, little Josie, tinier by far than her plump, healthy-looking cousins, still cried often, wouldn’t settle and refused to suckle. She had to be put on the bottle, which made Rose feel a failure on top of everything else. She was very weak herself, and often tired, and a demanding baby as well as the other two little ones made things harder for her.

Kathy was unable to do much for Rose, for she had her own family to see to, Bridie never off the doorstep and Barry’s mother Molly to visit, but Maggie and Mary both tried to help. All the family were worried about Rose and wee Josie and took Pete and Nuala off her hands as often as they could.

The first bombs fell in Birmingham on the night of 8 August, leaving one person dead and five injured. Many thought the lone German bomber was actually looking for Fort Dunlop, but was unable to find it in the black-out and dropped his load in Erdington instead. Kathy knew that the battle was on now and the phoney war was over, and she prepared her cellar as if for a siege, while sporadic bombing raids took place in various parts of the city throughout August. She lugged mattresses down the stone steps, and told the astonished children that in future they would sleep with her in her bed. If they were woken by a raid, they were to put on their shoes and their outdoor coats, which Kathy would leave at the end of the bed. If they could drag their eiderdowns after them without tripping themselves up, so much the better. Danny was in charge of the torch, and Lizzie was responsible for Kathy’s box containing the ration books, identity cards and post office savings book. Kathy would follow with the baby in the large wicker basket that she was using for a cradle just now, and she assured the children they’d be as safe as houses.

On the night of 25 August, the children hadn’t been in bed long when the siren went off. Kathy wasn’t too worried, though she urged them to hurry. They’d had plenty of these skirmishes that had turned out to be nothing, and she crept down behind the children, carrying the sleeping Padraic, and hoping it would be over soon.

She met Bridie coming in through the cellar door – she’d given her sister-in-law a key as it saved time – and they settled the children on the mattresses, cuddled up with the eiderdowns. Kathy made tea and produced biscuits, and it began to take on the air of a picnic.

When the droning planes came so near that they could hear the whine and whistle of the bombs and the shuddering crashes as they descended on the city centre, the children’s eyes opened wider with fear. Kathy’s blood seemed to freeze in her veins, and she looked at Bridie and saw stark terror in her face as the ack-ack guns began the attack.

Matt, Danny and Sheelagh began to howl. Lizzie wanted to cry too – she’d never in all her life been as scared – but she noticed that her mammy wasn’t crying, so she decided she wouldn’t either. She held herself so rigid on the mattress, with her hands balled into fists beside her, that she shook slightly, but no tears slid down her cheeks.

The noise was incredible, the ferocious blasts and crashes hurt Lizzie’s ears, and in the middle of it came a furious knocking at the entry door at the top of the cellar steps. Kathy’s startled eyes met those of Bridie. Who would knock at the door in the middle of a raid? But whoever it was, it must be trouble, and with a feeling of dread she crossed the room.

As Kathy was about to open the cellar door, Lizzie threw herself at her mother. ‘No, Mammy!’ It was almost a scream, and Lizzie’s eyes looked wild as she pleaded, ‘Don’t, don’t go up there.’

Kathy understood how Lizzie felt; God, she felt it herself. She took her daughter’s protesting hands in her own and said gently, ‘I must see who it is, Lizzie.’ Then she gave her a little push away and added, ‘Go on now, be a good girl. I’ll be back in a minute.’ Lizzie said nothing more, but stood watching her mother go up the cellar steps.

Kathy swung open the entry door. In the dim light she could just make out the figures of two ARP wardens. One cradled little Josie in a blanket and the other had Nuala in her arms and was supporting Rose, who held tight to Pete’s hand.

‘What in God’s name…?’ The words were almost lost in the deafening crash terrifyingly near. Kathy tasted dust in her mouth, and there was an acrid smell in her nose.

‘Found her in the street, missus,’ said one of the wardens, as Kathy pulled her sister-in-law inside and took Josie from the woman’s arms. ‘Trying to get to her ma’s with the children. Your place was closer, so we brought her here.’

‘Yes, of course, you did right,’ Kathy said.

‘We’ll leave you to it, then, missus,’ the other warden said, setting little Nuala on her feet.

‘Yes, thank you. Thank you for bringing her.’

Rose had not uttered a word. Kathy closed the door and turned to the trembling woman. ‘Can you manage the steps?’ she asked in a loud voice, as if she had to rouse her in some way. Rose nodded, and Lizzie ran up to help her mother bring the little ones down to the comparative safety of the cellar, while the pounding went on all around them.

It was a little while later before Rose could begin to explain. At first Kathy was involved with practicalities, such as dealing with the shivering children and the restless baby, who’d begun to wail in a cross, tired voice. Kathy soothed Josie while Lizzie tucked the little ones under the eiderdown with Danny, Matt and Sheelagh and wondered why her Auntie Bridie didn’t get off her behind and give a hand.

Lizzie marvelled that her mother seemed not even to hear the clamour around her, while Lizzie herself could hardly bear it. The German engines had a sort of intermittent burring sound that you’d hear sometimes between the almost incessant ack-ack guns peppering the night. But most terrifying of all was the shrill and whistle of the bombs, and the crash and boom of them landing that often seemed to shake the walls of the cellar.

Rose, sitting beside Bridie on the mattress, began suddenly to cry. Kathy put a cup of tea in her hands, but they shook so much Lizzie thought most of it would be spilt. ‘I’m sorry,’ she said to Kathy. ‘I tried to get to Mam’s, but I, I…’ She gave a shudder and said, ‘I was so scared.’

‘Hush,’ Kathy said, putting an arm around her. ‘You’ll wake the weans. You’re not alone; sure, we’re all bloody scared.’

‘Aye, but you don’t understand. I can’t do it,’ Rose cried. ‘I can’t get the three of them up and dressed and off in the middle of the night to Ma’s.’

Kathy was smitten with guilt. Of course she couldn’t. Lizzie and Danny were of an age to see to themselves a bit, and were even a help to Kathy, but Rose’s three were still wee. Why hadn’t she thought about it? Bridie could help, but Kathy knew it was no good asking her, and Maggie had her own little one to see to. ‘You need someone with you,’ she said. ‘What about our Carmel?’

Rose looked up with the deep-brown eyes her children had inherited, but hers seemed sunk in her head and ringed with black, and Kathy realised she was so thin her cheekbones stuck out. ‘Your ma said your Carmel’s gone a bit wild, she’s never in nights. She’d be just another to look after and worry about.’

‘Your sisters?’

‘They’re all away,’ Rose said. ‘Mammy sent them at the beginning of the holidays to our people in Ireland. There’s only Catrin, and she’s living in Lozell’s near her chap’s people.’

‘Mammy?’

‘She has enough on her plate with her worries about your da.’

‘What about him?’ Kathy said, alarmed.

‘With his chest playing up again.’

Mary had said nothing to Kathy, and for a moment she was a little upset that she’d confided in Rose, but that wasn’t the issue at the moment. She said suddenly and decisively, ‘You must come to us.’

‘How can she?’ Bridie put in, the first time she’d spoken in ages. ‘We have little enough room as it is.’

‘Well, what we have, we’ll share,’ Kathy snapped. To Rose she said, ‘You and the weans can bed down in my attic night-times. I’ll be on hand to help you then, and you can share the cellar.’

Rose’s eyes showed her gratitude, and yet she said, ‘I wanted to stay in my own place, you know, to have a nice home for Sean to come back to.’

Hitler might see you have no home at all, Kathy thought, but aloud she said, ‘Sure, you’ll be in your own home in the daytime, it’s only nights you’ll be here.’

Lizzie gave a yawn and suddenly realised how weary she was. Her eyelids felt heavy and she blinked to keep them open. Kathy and Rose were still talking softly, with a sharp rejoinder now and then from Bridie, but she was too tired to take it in. She leant sleepily against her mother, and Kathy smiled down at her. Her hands were full – one arm cradled Josie, thankfully asleep again, and the other was round the distressed Rose – but she saw the exhaustion in her daughter’s face. ‘Lie down for a wee while,’ she said. ‘You’ll be tired out tomorrow.’

Doubting she would sleep in the noise all about them, Lizzie crawled under the eiderdowns with her brother and cousins. Danny, Matt and Pete were fast asleep already at the other end, and Sheelagh stirred as Lizzie moved in between her and Nuala, but didn’t wake. The murmur of the women’s voices was comforting amid the din coming from above the cellar, Lizzie thought as she closed her eyes.

She slept deeply and didn’t wake, not even when the baby cried for a feed and Matt and Danny both needed the toilet and had to be stood on the draining board to wee in the big sink. Neither did a nearby explosion cause her to do little more than turn over. Kathy, lying on the other mattress, envied the slumber Lizzie was enjoying. Though her eyes felt gritty with tiredness, she knew she’d be unable to rest until the raid was over.