Ignore the perfume and pretty face, he lectured himself, driving in a nail. Ignore the aroma of the homemade soup wafting up the stairs. He pounded another nail. Ignore the image of her playing sweetly with the children. He drove in two more nails and then threw the hammer on the floor.
As soon as the van was out of sight of the Palace, Nicole pulled off to the side of the road. She opened her oversize denim shoulder bag that sat on the bench beside her. Carefully she extracted the plastic container of hot soup and set it on the floor where it wouldn’t spill. Next to it she placed one of the loaves of bread she’d made this morning. Then she opened the newspaper to the pages of coupons and started circling the ones she could use. When she was done, she added the values of each and came to the grand total of just over twelve dollars.
Finally she drove on, her plan nrmly in place. First the post office to mail her letters requesting references, then a grocery store where she’d spend as close to twelve dollars as possible.
For once she took advantage of the no-speed-limit law, feeling more confident in Michael’s sturdy van. In spite of this, by the time she came to the third and most important part of her day, she had used nearly three hours of the seven she’d allotted herself.
Her heart raced as she wound her way down the narrow dirt road, sending a cloud of dust billowing out behind her. Then she saw it—the hand-carved “Williams” on a wooden sign swinging gently in the wind below a homemade mailbox. She slowed and pulled up the dirt drive alongside the squat log cabin, hoping someone would see her and come rushing out. When no one did, she ran to the front door, knocked once and let herself in. Sprawled out on the floor on his stomach amidst a jungle of logs was her reason for living. He looked over his shoulder at the sound of the door and then scrambled to his feet.
“Mama!”
Nicole scooped the freckled-faced boy into her arms and held him close, inhaling deeply the fresh scent of his tousled hair. “Cody, Cody. I missed you last night.”
His little arms tightened around her neck, and she wondered how she could ever say goodbye again, how she could do what she knew she had to do if they were to be safe and together soon.
“I missed you, too, Mama,” Cody said as Nicole set him down.
“Pretty soon I won’t be able to pick you up. You’re getting so heavy, big guy.”
He beamed up at her. “That’s because I’m seven and a half years old,” he said proudly.
Nicole ruffled his sandy hair as Mabel waddled in from the kitchen, her wrinkled face creasing into a big smile at the sight of Nicole. Nicole went to her and kissed her on the cheek. “How’s my favorite grandma today?” Mabel’s eyes brightened at the compliment. She wasn’t really Cody’s grandma, but she was the next best thing and the only one he had ever known.
Mabel took Nicole’s other hand and led her to the worn sofa, where they sat side by side, Cody snuggling on the other side of his mother. “Tell me what you’ve been up to, dear. I didn’t expect to see you so soon.”
“Neither did I.” She pulled Cody closer and smiled. “I found a job.” It was a stretch, but she knew if Michael didn’t hire her, Taylor would. With luck her references would arrive soon.
Mabel covered her mouth, and her eyes grew brighter. She sniffed once and tried to straighten her hunched shoulders. “My prayers have been answered...and so soon! Wait till I tell Walter. He’s been so worried about you.”
Nicole looked out the windows. “Where is Walter?”
“Deep in the woods, I’m afraid. Berry pickin’ or some such. Ya know how he loves his long walks and his critters. Can you stay till he gets back?”
Nicole looked down at Cody under her arm, his eyes pleading with her to say yes, and she thought her heart would break. If only she could take him with her. But she couldn’t risk them being spotted together. She’d just have to wait until she’d saved enough money to move on, far away.
“I can stay for a while, but not long. I have to do grocery shopping, and it’s more than a two-hour drive to my new place.” She watched Cody drop his chin, and she scrambled to change the subject. “Sweetheart, I have some bags in the car. Want to help me carry them in?”
His smile was sweet, and he was trying to act brave, but underneath she worried how all this change was affecting him long-term. She reminded herself she was doing the best she could under the circumstances, but that never seemed to work. She still worried.
Cody helped her carry the bread, soup and twelve dollars worth of groceries inside. She felt guilty about spending Michael’s money, but she knew he never would have clipped coupons to save. Besides, when she got money of her own she’d replace it.
Mabel was effusive in her gratitude for the food, and Cody was thrilled with a box of his favorite cereal. It took so little to please them. Watching them find places for their new treasures warmed Nicole’s heart and she wished she could have brought more. Next time. Perhaps Wednesdays could be her day off, and she could make this a habit. And maybe next time she could stay longer.
She glanced at the clock over the stove: 2:15. With the drive back and shopping for Michael she’d be lucky to have time to make a quick supper for him.
While Mabel put on a pot of tea, Nicole wrote out the address and phone number of where she could be reached in case of an emergency. She explained that her new employer knew nothing about Cody or her need for secrecy and Mabel completely understood. She and Walter would wait to hear from Nicole unless the unexpected forced them to do otherwise.
Nicole worked on a picture puzzle at the kitchen table with Cody for another twenty minutes, finished her tea and then pulled Cody onto her lap. Lately she’d noticed he’d been avoiding her lap, acting as though he’d outgrown such childish things. Today he came eagerly.
“I have to go, big guy.” She nuzzled her nose into his hair, memorizing the smell of it.
He whined, “Just a little longer.”
“Not this time, my love. Soon.” She hugged him hard and then set him down. He took her hand and walked her to the van as Mabel lingered in the doorway.
“Whose cool van, Mama?”
“The man I work for. He’s a carpenter.” She knelt down and clasped Cody’s narrow shoulders. “You know I wouldn’t be leaving you if I didn’t absolutely have to, don’t you?” She saw tears starting to rim his lower lashes, but he blinked them back bravely.
“I know, Mama.” He wiped his nose on the back of his sleeve, then eyed her. “It’s all because of that bad man you told me about.”
“That’s right. Have you looked at his picture lately?”
He shook his head.
“You go find it and look at it with Mabel after I leave. You have to remember what he looks like so you can hide if you ever see him, remember?” She hated to say anything that might frighten him, but he had to know.
“I remember what car,” he said, showing a hint of his gap-toothed smile. “A Cadillac. A big Cadillac.” He stretched out his arms as far as they could reach.
Nicole poked him m the tummy. “You and your cars.” She kissed him quickly on the cheek, afraid to take a moment longer. She opened the van door, hopped up on the seat and slammed it shut Through the open window she said, “See ya later, alligator,” and forced a big smile.
Cody ran alongside the van and called back, “After while, crocodile.”
She watched and waved at him in her rearview mirror until the first bend in the road, then she let the first tears spill.
Nicole sped up the gravel road to the Palace, worried about the fact that it was nearly six o’clock and that Michael might think she wasn’t holding up her end of the bargain. He bad asked so little of her in exchange for food and shelter. This wasn’t exactly the way to start, the way to prove he needed her and increase her chances to stay.
She no sooner cut the engine and opened the door than he strode out, freshly showered and changed into a clean white T-shirt, one that accented his muscles and deep tan. He sauntered closer and she could see that the ends of his brown hair that hung recklessly down his neck were still wet. Suddenly she realized he was watching her watching him, and she averted her eyes.
“Did you clean out the place?” he asked as she moved to the rear of the van and opened the doors. She listened for reproach in his voice, but didn’t hear any.
“Not quite,” she said, picking up a bag in each arm and heading for the house. “Sorry I’m so late. It won’t happen again.” It was easier talking to him when she didn’t have to look at him. She never knew quite what she’d find when she did. Sometimes he was studying her, making her feel naked. Others he was accusing her, making her feel deceptive, which of course she was. She had no choice. But mostly what she saw was a very handsome and basically good man.
And that’s what bothered her most.
She heard the rustle of bags behind her and glanced back. “You don’t have to do that I can manage.”
“I’ve got nothing better to do. I’m done for the day.”
“You must be starved.” He elbowed open the screen door and held it for her, forcing her close to him. She could smell his soap and felt his warm breath on her shoulder as she passed.
“Had another bowl of that great soup a while ago, so I’m fine.”
They made three more trips to the van and back before starting the process of putting everything away.
Now who was this Michael, Nicole wondered, watching him out of the corner of her eye. He seemed friendly and relaxed. It made her nervous. For some reason she found dealing with his cynicism easier.
“Jenny brought over a meat loaf and scalloped potatoes. They’re in the oven staying warm...so you don’t have to worry about dinner tonight.”