Holiday Confessions

“Be happy,” she’d said simply. “Be an everyday, ordinary person with everyday ordinary concerns and schedules. Eat what I like. Do volunteer work, go to church. Be someone who matters because of the good I do in the world, not someone who only matters because of how good the weirdest designs on the planet look on my body.”

Yes, she’d definitely burned her bridges. She’d dropped the odd A that her mother had thought looked so sophisticated in front of plain old Lynne, and she’d begun using her real last name rather than her father’s mother’s maiden name. A’Lynne Frasier was dead, but Lynne DeVane was alive and well.

She’d moved back home to Virginia with her mother, gained back enough weight that she no longer looked as if she’d stepped out of a concentration camp and let her heavy mane of hair begin to grow back long and straight, although she wore it up and out of her face much of the time. With no makeup, her normal blond coloring made her forgettable enough that she’d managed, so far, to avoid recognition and the media harassment it would inevitably bring.

After a year, though, her sanity had demanded she find her own place to live. She’d decided on Gettysburg, just over an hour from her sister’s home. With luck, tucked away in a small town in the mountains of Pennsylvania, she would stay forgettable.

She crossed her fingers as she carried out yet another load of cardboard and stomped it flat before depositing it in the recycling container. If she didn’t run into any hard-core SI fans, she thought she had a chance.

She was getting winded after the seventh trip so she walked around to the front and lowered herself to the front steps for a few minutes to enjoy the small-town atmosphere of her new home. Holy cow. She’d thought she was in decent shape, but those stairs seemed to be getting steeper with each climb. Lowering herself to the top step on the small brick porch outside the entryway, she took a couple of deep breaths. Under her breath she muttered, “Are those boxes cloning themselves? Surely I don’t have that much junk.”

“Am I going to fall over you or your stuff again?”

Startled by the deep voice, she whirled around. Her grumpy neighbor had just opened the entrance door. His left hand was gripping the handle of a leather harness now, but the dog in the harness wasn’t the golden one she’d seen earlier. This dog was big and black and distinctly bulkier. The leather-covered metal handle, along with a leash attached to the dog’s collar, was firmly gripped in his left hand. She’d been right when she’d suspected he was blind.

Jumping to her feet, she opened her mouth to apologize again. And then she noticed he was smiling. Belatedly she realized his tone hadn’t been angry, but rather wryly amused.

“Sorry,” she said. “Just taking a breather. Those stairs are starting to make me wish I’d added a few more miles to my morning run.”

He chuckled. “Good thing it’s not a high-rise.”

She groaned. “Perish the thought. But if there was, there would be an elevator.” She took a deep breath. “I really am sorry about the boxes earlier. I guess you noticed I moved them.”

“I did.” He smiled again, strong white teeth flashing, and she was mildly shocked by her instant reaction to the impish, bad-boy quality in the expression. It invited her to smile along with him, to share some unspoken joke. It also made him one of the sexiest men she’d ever met. And it was a heck of a contrast to his earlier behavior.

“I’m sorry, too,” he said. “I’m usually not such a bad-tempered jerk. And I know better than to leave the apartment without my trusty eyes.”

“Apology accepted,” she said. She looked at his dog. “Did you dye your dog to match your clothes or something?”

His eyebrows rose and then he laughed. He inclined his head toward the dog standing patiently at his side. “This is Cedar, my guide. The dog with me at lunchtime was Feather, my retired guide. I was just going down for my mail.”

“I thought if you weren’t using a dog you needed a cane.” She didn’t know what the protocol was for discussing a person’s handicapping condition, but he’d already yelled at her once, so what was the worst that could happen?

He grinned sheepishly. “It’s a hassle to harness the dog for such a short walk, so I don’t usually bother. I should take my cane but the mailboxes are just at the bottom of the stairs and I have the wall and railing to hang on to the whole way, so I cheat.” He extended his free right hand. “Brendan Reilly. I take it you’re my new neighbor?”

“I am,” she said. She placed her palm in his. “Lynne DeVane. It’s nice to meet you.” It was more than nice. His hand was large and warm and as his fingers closed firmly around hers, her breath caught for a moment at the leap of pleasure his touch produced deep within her. “And Cedar, too,” she added belatedly.

Reluctantly, it seemed, he let her hand slide free. “Are you almost finished moving in?”

She nodded, then realized he couldn’t see her. “Yes. Everything’s in. And I only have about six more boxes to unpack.”

“Only?” He shook his head, and she was struck by the naturalness of the movement. He hadn’t been blind all his life; she’d bet on it. “That’s six boxes too many for me.”

“In a few more hours, they’ll all be gone. And I can’t wait!”

“If I were a really good guy, I’d offer to stay and help you unpack.” He smiled again. “Sadly, I’m not that nice. I have to get back to work.”

“Was this a lunch break?”

He nodded. “I came home to let Feather out and give her a little more attention. I’m an attorney with a law firm a few blocks from here.”

“How convenient that it’s so close.”

“It’s handy because I can get around without needing someone to drive me,” he told her.

“I like it, too,” she said. “I was looking for a place away from the city, but I wasn’t quite ready to go totally rural, so this seemed just right.”

“Which city?”

“NewYork. I used to live in a studio in Manhattan.”

“Yikes. Those places aren’t cheap.”

“You sound as if you know that.”

He nodded. “Columbia School of Law. I shared a place on the Upper West Side with three other law students and it was still pricey.”

She nodded sympathetically, then remembered again that he couldn’t see her. That was something she’d always taken for granted. It was a little shocking to realize how much of a role body language played in her interactions. “You can say that again. I didn’t realize just how expensive it was until I started looking for something in Gettysburg. I like it much better here.”

“It’s a great little town,” Brendan responded. “Any special reason you chose it?”

“Not really.” She had no intention of telling anyone in her new life about her old one. “I came here in high school on a class trip and thought it was lovely, so I just decided to see if it was still as I remembered it. And it was, so I started hunting for a place.”

“You’re lucky to have found this. These apartments don’t turn over often. The tenant before you was a bachelor who lived there for almost thirty years.”

“Who knows?” she said lightly. “I might be here in thirty years myself.” She cleared her throat. “Well, I won’t keep you. It was nice to meet you.”

“You, too,” he responded. “Good luck with the rest of those boxes.”

“I promise I won’t leave them in the hallway,” she said with a chuckle.

“If I’d had a guide with me like I should have, it wouldn’t have mattered,” he countered as he turned toward the street. “Have a good afternoon.”

“Thanks.” She almost lifted a hand before she caught herself.

“Cedar, forward.” Brendan turned his attention from her to the dog.

She watched as he walked confidently away from her to the end of the block and headed toward the pretty little center square. She wondered how he’d lost his sight. He had an awful lot of the mannerisms of one who’d once been able to see, like the way he confidently extended his hand for a shake, or like the simple way he seemed to focus right on her face as he spoke. If she didn’t know better, she’d have sworn he was looking right at her.

She thought again of the cookies she had planned to bake. She’d still make them, even though he seemed to have accepted her apology.

That evening Brendan was checking his e-mail when his doorbell rang. Feather and Cedar, lying on opposite sides of his chair in his study, both leaped to their feet, although neither of them barked. Cedar barreled toward the door, but Feather stayed with him, and he put a hand on her head as he stood, turned around and automatically negotiated his way across his office. “You’re my good girl,” he told her softly as they went down the hall and through the living room.

“Who is it?” he called as he reached the door. Cedar’s broad tail thumped against the front of his right leg while Feather simply hovered near his left side.

“Lynne. Your neighbor.”

She wouldn’t have needed to add that. He’d remembered her name instantly. Not to mention the softness of her hand and her pleasantly husky voice.