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Guilty

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2018
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‘Do what?’

‘Have an argument with you,’ repeated Laura shortly. ‘And there you go again. Making fun of me.’

‘Was I doing that?’ Jake grimaced. ‘Oh, damn, that’s another question.’

He was teasing her. Laura knew it. And, although she knew she ought to be able to take it all in good part, she couldn’t. He disturbed her too much. She returned her attention to her tea, hoping he would do the same, but she didn’t sit down with him. At least when she was standing, she felt she had some chance of parity, albeit in a physical sense only. And perhaps, after he had drunk his tea, he would go for a walk, she speculated. He surely didn’t intend to hang about the house until Julie chose to put in an appearance.

‘So,’ he remarked, after a few silent moments, ‘you live here alone, is that right?’

‘Well, I don’t have a live-in lover,’ replied Laura tersely, and then, catching the humour in his eyes, she struggled to compose herself. ‘I—yes, I live alone,’ she conceded, putting her empty cup down on the drainer. ‘But I don’t mind, if that’s what you’re getting at. After dealing with noisy teenagers all day, it’s quite a relief to come back here.’

‘I can believe it.’ Jake wasn’t teasing now. He had folded his arms along the back of the chair, and was regarding her with a steady appraisal. ‘And it’s very peaceful around here, isn’t it?’

‘Mmm.’ Laura endeavoured to relax. ‘That’s what I love about it. The peace and quiet. I’d hate to live in the city again.’

Jake frowned. ‘You lived in London?’

‘No. Newcastle.’ Somehow, she didn’t mind his questions now. ‘I moved here just after—Julie went to London.’

‘Ah.’ Jake nodded.

‘I work in the city, of course,’ Laura added. ‘It’s only about fifteen miles away.’

‘Newcastle.’

‘Yes.’

Jake absorbed this. Then, quite obliquely, he said, ‘You’d like Valle di Lupo. It’s very peaceful there, too. If slightly less civilised.’

Laura hesitated. She was loath to appear too curious after the accusation she had made towards him, but she had to ask, ‘What is—Valle di Lupo?’

Jake smiled, and she felt her breath catch in her throat as his lean features assumed a disturbing sensuality. ‘My home,’ he said simply. ‘Or rather—my family’s. It’s in the wilds of Toscana—Tuscany. A few miles north of Firenze.’

‘Florence,’ ventured Laura softly, and Jake inclined his head.

‘As you say—Florence,’ he agreed. ‘Have you been to Italy?’

‘Oh, no.’ Laura shook her head. ‘I’m afraid not. Apart from a school skiing trip to Austria, I haven’t travelled much at all. Not outside England, anyway.’

‘A pity.’ Jake pulled a wry face. ‘I think you would like it.’

‘Oh—I’m sure I would.’ Laura hoped she didn’t sound too eager. ‘Um—is that—is that where your—daughter lives?’ She moistened her lips. ‘At Valle di Lupo?’

‘Sometimes.’ Jake was thoughtful. ‘When she’s not at school. And when I’m not able to take care of her.’

Laura was interested in spite of herself. ‘You—don’t live at Valle di Lupo?’

Jake smiled again. ‘Who’s asking questions now?’

Laura’s face flamed. ‘I’m sorry—–’

‘Don’t be. I don’t mind.’ Jake shrugged his shoulders. ‘I’ve got nothing to hide!’

Laura pressed her lips together, and glanced awkwardly about her. ‘I—er—I think I’d better go and get dressed,’ she murmured, and then caught her breath again, when Jake propelled himself up from the chair, and swung it round, so that it fitted back under the table.

‘I thought you wanted to know where I lived?’ he protested. ‘Or were you just being polite?’

Laura caught her lower lip between her teeth. ‘I—just wondered, that’s all,’ she improvised, smoothing her damp palms down the skirt of her dressing-gown. ‘It’s really none of my business—–’

‘I have an apartment in Rome, and another on the coast near Viareggio,’ he told her softly. ‘But my real home is at Valle di Lupo. That is where I was born.’

‘Oh.’

It all sounded very extravagant to Laura. Two apartments, and a family home. It was the kind of lifestyle she had only read about in glossy magazines, or seen portrayed in American soap operas. It was quite amazing to meet someone who actually lived like that. It seemed a long way from Burnfoot, and the modest appointments of this cottage.

‘You don’t approve?’ he suggested now, and Laura was guiltily aware that she had been frowning.

‘Oh—no,’ she murmured. ‘I mean—it all sounds very beautiful. Your home, that is. I’m sure Julie is longing to see it.’

‘Are you?’

Jake rested his hands on the back of the chair, and Laura’s eyes were drawn to their narrow elegance. It reminded her of how they had felt the night before, and how strongly they had supported her weight…

But he was waiting for her answer, and, lifting her shoulders, she said quickly, ‘Of course.’ A sudden thought occurred to her, and she felt the colour invade her cheeks once again. ‘Unless—unless she’s already—–’

‘No.’

Jake was adamant about that, and Laura’s eyes widened. ‘No?’

‘Julie isn’t interested in the provincial life,’ Jake informed her carelessly. ‘She doesn’t care for fields, and trees, and rolling vineyards. Only in what they produce.’

Laura swallowed. ‘That’s a little harsh—–’

‘Is it?’ Jake’s eyes were enigmatic. ‘How do you know I don’t feel the same?’

She didn’t, of course. And on the evidence she had so far, she had little reason to believe otherwise. And yet…

‘I—really think I must go and get dressed,’ she insisted, moving towards the door. ‘Er—if you’d like another cup of tea, help yourself. I—won’t be long.’

She made her escape before he could say anything else. And, as she went up the stairs again, she realised she was trembling. For heaven’s sake, she thought impatiently, what was wrong with her? It wasn’t the first time she had had a conversation with a strange man, and certainly he had given her no reason to feel this consuming sense of vulnerability in his presence. It wasn’t as if he’d made a pass at her or anything. He’d been a perfect gentleman, and she was behaving like a silly spinster. For God’s sake, she told herself, locking the bathroom door and taking a good look at herself in the mirror, she was too old and too jaded to be attractive to a man like him. Even if Julie had not been on the scene, there were probably dozens of women like her, waiting to take her place. She was just a middle-aged housewife, with a pathetic lust for something she had never had.

CHAPTER FOUR (#ub2906634-93ff-57ff-8d31-40498d31b612)

SO MUCH for her efforts to move quietly earlier, Laura reflected half an hour later, having made as much noise as possible as she’d got dressed. Even though she had slammed drawers, rattled hangers, and dropped a make-up bottle on to the dressing-table, Julie hadn’t stirred. She was curled languorously in the middle of the bed, and nothing her mother could do would wake her.

Of course, she could always take her by the shoulders, and shake her daughter awake, Laura considered grimly. After all, Jake was Julie’s guest, not hers, and she should be the one to entertain him. But that particular alternative was not appealing. The girl was probably tired, and it wasn’t fair to deny her the chance to catch up on her sleep.

The reasons why Julie might be tired were less easy to contemplate. Even though she had denied them the chance to sleep together at the cottage, Laura had no doubt that Jake had slept at Julie’s apartment in London. And although her experience of sexual relationships was fairly negligible, she had a more than adequate imagination.
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