The Shadow Queen: The Sunday Times bestselling book – a must read for Summer 2018

‘An exchange of foolhardy kisses and foolishly romantic promises, I expect.’

It was more than that. Far more. I thought it was not wise to say so. Countess Catherine was simply looking from one to the other. Lady Elizabeth hid her mouth with gnarled hands. Will smirked.

‘This gets us nowhere.’ Finally my mother raised her hands and her voice in exasperation. ‘Speak to her, Father Oswald. We need to know the truth.’

The priest thus beckoned, so that we moved a little away to the end of the chamber where our only audience was from the stitched birds and hunting dogs, all keen eyes, teeth and claws which seemed uncommonly prescient. He bent his head, his tone a holy reprimand although his eyes were kind. I had known him since I had known anyone in my mother’s household. I might even hope for compassion here, unless he lectured me on the penalty for sin. He held a parchment and the recovered pen as if to note down all my foolishness that made my claim invalid.

‘My daughter. You must indeed tell me the truth, as if you were in confession. Come now, no one can hear us. I am sure that you are mistaken. What has this young man said to you, that makes you think that you are wed?’

It was so easy to answer.

‘He asked me to be his wife. And I agreed.’

‘But there were no banns called, no priest to give his blessing. How can this be so, then, that you think that you are his wife?’

I knew exactly how it could be so.

‘We made our vows together. We were married because we expressed a wish to marry. We spoke them aloud and there are witnesses to it. Thomas said it would be legal and I know that it is.’

He looked at me, worry on his brow, and lowered his voice further. ‘Were you forced, my dear? You must say if you were. There would be no blame on your head if it was against your will, persuaded by an ambitious young man against your better judgement.’ The tips of his fingers touched my cheek in compassion. ‘Was that the case?’

I thought about the wedding. There had been no force at all. I had been a willing bride.

‘No, Father. There was no compulsion. He did not have to persuade me.’

‘What did you say to this young man?’

I thought back over the six months, and repeated as nearly as I could recall, what I had said to Thomas and what he had said to me.

‘Ah ...!’ Father Oswald nodded.

‘It is legal, is it not, Father?’ I asked as he fell into an uncomfortable line of thought, his face falling into even graver lines.

Upon which he flushed. ‘It could well be. But… ‘ He hesitated, then said, more brightly: ‘But, of course. There is another matter to be considered for true legality. The matter of consummation. Without this, there is no marriage at all, my dear girl, no matter what vows were spoken.’

My gaze was steady on his, admitting no embarrassment. ‘Our marriage is consummated.’

‘Are you certain? You are barely of an age to be wed.’ His cheeks were aflame. ‘It may be that you are not quite aware of what…’

‘Yes, Father. I am certain. I am well aware of what is required for consummation and it is more than a quick kiss. And I am of an age to be wed.’

Father Oswald fretted, his fingers tearing at the quill so that it was all but destroyed. He had written nothing. ‘Even so… Your lady mother will not like this. For all sorts of reasons.’ He looked back over his shoulder, to where my mother and uncle were in deep conversation with a distraught Countess of Salisbury, and Will looking merely bored. ‘Where is he now, the young man in question?’

‘Fighting somewhere in Europe. When I last heard.’

There was a faint easing of the consternation.

‘And you have not heard from him for six months?’

‘No, Father.’

‘So it may well be that…’

I did not want to guess at what he was thinking. Six months of silence from a man engaged in warfare could mean any number of things. Mentally I swept them aside, for it was a path my mind had long followed of late.

‘Sir Thomas assured me that the vows were binding,’ was all I would say. ‘He assured me that I am his wife.’

‘I am afraid that I agree with him.’ The priest sighed, took me by the hand and led me back to the lowering group who had resorted to finishing the flagon of wine.

‘Well?’ My mother faced us, demanding and expecting a retraction.

‘She speaks the truth, my lady,’ Father Oswald pronounced with all the authority of Holy Mother Church invested in him. ‘She and the young knight are married. Not in the manner that the Holy Father would smile on, but it is a lawful union and it is in my mind that it will stand up as such in any court.’

‘I don’t believe it.’

‘It is so, my lady.’ The priest was proud to display his erudition dropping into impressive Latin. ‘A marriage per verba de praesenti.’ He was nervous but pursuing, sure of his legal grounds. ‘The young people expressed their intentions. In the present tense you understand, and before witnesses. I regret but it is a binding union.’ He turned his regard to me. ‘Who are the witnesses, Mistress Joan? You did not say.’

‘Never mind the witnesses. What about the consummation?’ My uncle Wake, beyond any sensitivity.

‘It was, by your niece’s own words, consummated.’

‘But it can be annulled.’

‘No, my lord, it cannot.’ Father Oswald was adamant, enjoying his moment of authority. ‘The marriage has been consummated. It was entered into willingly and with no duress. There is no room for annulment here, despite the lady’s young age. Unfortunately, a consummation makes the oath doubly binding. If that had not occurred, there may have been room for an annulment. As it is, my lord, on the word of the lady here present…’

If there was silence before on my first pronouncement, it was doubly so now.

My wrist was instantly transferred from the priest’s gentle hand once more to my mother’s fierce grip, hot with a barely controlled fury.

‘I will remedy this.’ She swept the room with a regard designed to intimidate. ‘The arrangements for this Salisbury marriage are by no means in abeyance. I suggest that you discuss this with no one until the matter is settled, one way or another.’ The glint in her eye settled on Will who looked to be about to burst with a need to tell all. ‘It would be wise to keep this from any ears but our own. And now Mistress Joan…’

I was led from the room with far less grace than I was brought into it.

Looking over my shoulder before the door was closed at my back, I saw that the faint air of malice or boredom in equal measure had been wiped from Will’s face. Almost I could read sympathy there. It made me feel no better. Now I had to withstand my mother’s displeasure, as I had always known I must. In that moment I wished that I had confessed my marriage to my mother when it was first done. I had chosen otherwise because I had envisioned it being when I decided would be the best time, of my own free will, most crucially with my new husband at my side to plead my case and smooth over any unpleasantness. I had expected Thomas to be somewhere at least close, with his feet in the same realm. Now I was alone, Thomas Holland wielding sword and lance against the infidel in Lithuania in the name of the Teutonic Knights, where he would have no idea of the repercussions of our wilful actions for me in England. Thomas was not one for either reading or writing letters.

Now, alone, I must face the drums and trumpets of my mother’s wrath.

I had misjudged the situation. I should not have allowed myself to be left in so vulnerable a position; rather I should have insisted that we announce the deed when it was done rather than let time pass by. It was enough to make me vow, silently, as I matched my footsteps with the staccato beats of my mother’s flat soles, that I would never again act against my better judgement. I would never allow myself to be persuaded to renounce what I knew to be in my best interests.

Was this the decision of a selfish young woman? It was. I knew it and had no compunction in making my private vow. I had learnt from my mother that a woman had to keep her wits and her desires sharp if she were to follow the path of her own choosing. My mother, led into treachery by the man she loved, had been left to make what she could of her life without him. I would do better. It was always better to rely on oneself rather than on the promises of a man, however attractive he might be.

But now all I felt was fear. I might appear undaunted, indomitable even, but what would be the outcome? It was beyond my ability to foresee. Would my mother be able to force me into compliance with her wishes? I feared that she would.

It was in my mind to resist, to deny, to refuse.

Blessed Virgin! Give me wisdom and strength to follow my own path.

‘Where is he? Where is the despicable cur who lured you into this abominable contract? This rogue who inveigled you into rank scandal that will shake the foundations of our family?’