Comrades

Sim. Beg your pardon! Don’t rise – I may be right. I may be mistaken – Don’t rise. Is this the abode of Miss Nancy Nipper?

Bess (rises quickly.Marcussits still). Yes. Nancy is in the kitchen.

Sim. Oh, made a mistake! Yes, yes. Can you point out the position of the culinary department of your dwelling?

Bess. I will call her in. Take a seat.

Sim. Ah, thank you. (Bess exit R. I. E.) Here’s my card. Gone! gone without it, and I went to the expense of getting up that card for the express purpose of having it placed in the hands of Miss Nancy Nipper. Says I, “Simon, don’t be shabby. Go, like a gentleman. Spare no expense.” – and it’s useless. (Comes down R., turns, and sees Marcus in chair.) Halloa, Mark! – Mark, the perfect man.

Mar (rises). Si, old fellow where in the world did you drop from? (Gives hand.)

Simon (takes hand and shakes it). Well, in truth, Mark – But stop. I interrupted a tete-a-tete. There was a young lady sitting on that hassock. O Mark, this is too bad! I’m in the way. Good-by (starts for door).

Mar (detaining him). Stop, stop, Si! it’s all right. But why are you here?

Simon. I – why – well – Look here, Mark, I know I’m in the way. I’ll come again (starts for door).

Mar (detaining him). No, no; it’s all right, Si. I see – you’re in love with our Nancy.

Simon. Our Nancy! Our – Good gracious, Mark! You don’t mean to say that you are aspiring to the affection of that damsel?

Mar. Ha, ha, Si! You need not fear. When I said our Nancy, I meant our girl – help, you understand.

Simon. Oh! Ah! Then you are one of the family.

Mar (confused). Well, no. Not exactly.

Simon. Oh, I see. Don’t blush, but I’m sure I must be in the way. I’ll come again (starts for door).

Mar (detaining him). Simon, stop. If you leave this room we are enemies.

Simon. But, Mark, I might blast your prospects, were it known that you and I —

Mar. Were friends, dear friends; that you were the only one who reached out a helping hand to me a destitute stranger, when I entered yonder city, five years ago.

Simon. None of that, Mark. Don’t be shabby; helping hand, indeed, to a loft in the sixth story, a bed on a heap of rags, and dry bread washed down with water.

Mar. Divided your substance with me. Sim, when I forget your kindness, may I be as hungry as I was then.

Simon. Yes; but, Mark —

Mar. Hush. Here comes Miss Bess.

Simon. Then I’ll just step outside (going).

Mar (detaining him). Not a step.

(Enter Bess, R. I. E.)

Bess. Nancy will be here in a minute. Mr. —

Mar (coming down L., leading Simon, the right hands clasped). Bess, Miss Bradley, allow me to present a very dear friend, – Mr. Simon Stone, my chum.

Bess. Indeed (offering her hand). Mr. Stone, you are very welcome here.

Simon (takes hand). Ah – yes; thank you. Thank you – very kind (goes L.). Chums. Chums, – before her, too. There’s nothing shabby about that.

Mar. We’ll leave you, Simon, to your friend; but don’t go until I’ve seen you again.

Bess. Oh, no. You must stop to dinner.

(Bess and Marcus exeunt, C., arm in arm.)

Simon. Yes, thank you, much obliged. Well, now, that’s hearty; pretty as a picture, and he, there’s nothing shabby about him. Now, for Nancy. Won’t her eyes glisten when she sees me in this stunning get-up. I never did care for dress, but when I made up my mind to look after Nancy again, I said to myself, “Simon, don’t be shabby; do the thing in style;” and here I am, bran’ new from top to toe, from shampoo to shining leather, but with the same old heart inside of me, advancing double-shuffle to the tune of “Nancy is my darling.”

(Enter Nancy, R. I. E.)

Nancy. Now, I’d like to know who – Good gracious! it’s Simon Stone.

Simon. Nancy, it is. Simon, your Simon. How dye do (offers hand).

Nancy. Well, I declare! rigged out like a dancing-jack. You extravagant dog!

Simon (turning round). Gay, ain’t it. Cut to order by an artist, (turns round); look at the “elegance of expression” in the back of that coat, and the tout ensemble of these pantaloons. That’s what he called ’em, and I know they’re there, for I paid for ’em. Nothing shabby about me.