The Brennan Baby

“You weren’t stupid, you were in love,” Carmen cut in. “Don’t be so hard on yourself, Gillian.”

“Don’t make excuses for me.” Gillian crossed the room to flop down on the sofa beside Mark, her favorite foster brother who had done her the incredible favor of marrying her in name only to give her child a legitimate birth. As one who’d been born out of wedlock, Gillian had determined years ago that she would never let a child of hers bear that stigma. Mark had understood completely. His mother hadn’t been married to his father, either.

“Well, stupid or in love or whatever, Devlin Brennan was definitely a willing participant, Gillian.” Carmen’s dark eyes flashed and she nuzzled the top of Ashley’s silky head. “And it’s not fair that you’re assuming total financial responsibility for the baby. At the very least, that...that yango should be handing over a check every month to you for—”

“No!” Gillian exclaimed so forcefully that Mark jumped. “I don’t want any charity from him. I’ve had enough of being a charity case, thank you very much. I have no intention of letting my daughter become one.”

“It wouldn’t be charity, but I know where you’re coming from.” Mark reached over to pat her shoulder. “Don’t worry, Gilly. It’s going to be okay.”

How? Gillian wanted to cry. How could it possibly be okay if she had to contend with seeing Devlin Brennan every day, if she had to watch the parade of women through his apartment and his life? She stared fixedly at the olive green carpet until the weave seemed to blur and dance in front of her eyes.

The firmly suppressed memories escaped from the prison in her mind where she’d kept them locked away for the past twenty months. For a few moments she was swept back to the time she’d shared with Dev. Those three months had been the happiest, most exciting, thrilling, romantic time of her life.

But there had been a dark side that always shadowed that idyllic period. All during their too-good-to-be-true romance, she’d felt scared and insecure, not really believing that a man like Devlin Brennan could want a woman like her. Could want her! She’d always known their relationship was temporary, had been braced for the inevitable end. Something too good to be true generally turns out to be exactly that, and of course, her erstwhile romance with Dev had come to an abrupt end.

That she’d ended it herself was merely a technicality. She had read the warning signs and acted first, that’s all. She was well aware that wanting something or someone you can’t have was not only a waste of time and emotion, it was self-destructive.

She and Carmen and Mark and a few others among their many foster sisters and brothers had managed to develop a finely honed sense of their own self-preservation, but she’d seen far too many others who hadn’t. When you didn’t anticipate rejection, it arrived as a devastating surprise, breaking your heart and your spirit. Though rejection remained painful when expected, at least the hideous element of surprise was eliminated. Knowing what was coming gave you a chance to take some control, to avoid the passive victim role. To Gillian, that meant a lot. It meant everything.

So she’d broken up with Dev before he could break up with her, and she hadn’t looked back. Not until now.

Now unleashed and unbidden, a hundred images tumbled through her mind, all images of Devlin Brennan. Dr. Swoon, Mark called him. Cool, good-looking Dev was definitely a man to swoon over. He had thick, dark brown hair and deep blue eyes framed by dark lashes and brows. Gillian pictured him smiling, frowning, looking thoughtful. Looking amorous. His face was more than merely handsome, his slightly irregular nose and full generous mouth made it interesting, as well.

She remembered the sound of his laugh, the way he closed his eyes when he was about to kiss her. How he looked when he stepped out of the shower, water sluicing over his hard, muscular body. At thirty-one, he still had the wiry athletic build of the track star and swimmer he’d been throughout his high school and college years.

Gillian swallowed dryly as the video in her mind continued to play, featuring Dev as the leading man. He was extremely intelligent, but he tended to downplay it. Though he’d never mentioned the facts himself, others had told her that Devlin Brennan had graduated near the top of his medical school class and was now winning rave reviews as a senior orthopedic resident at the medical center. He had a laconic sense of humor and a gift for making friends. His smooth sexuality was a natural draw to women, guaranteeing him anyone he wanted. For a brief time he’d wanted Gillian...

“Mama, mama!” Ashley squealed, and Carmen carried her over to Gillian who took the baby on her lap.

“I think Mama is the only word you know, isn’t that right, cutie pie?” Mark playfully asked Ashley.

“She’s only eleven months old and she makes lots of sounds and knows the meanings of some other words,” Carmen chided, coming to Ashley’s defense. “You can’t expect her to recite the Gettysburg Address.”

“Carmen, honey, I don’t expect anyone to recite the Gettysburg Address,” said Mark.

“‘Fourscore and seven years ago...” Carmen promptly launched into a complete recitation Gillian and Mark applauded when she finished.

Carmen bowed. “I had to memorize it in sixth grade or lose recess privileges. Since recess was the only part of school I liked, I learned it fast.”

“I can sing the entire score of ‘My Fair Lady,’ ‘The King and I’ and ‘Camelot,’ just to name a few,” boasted Mark. “Shall I?”

“You wouldn’t dare!” shrieked Carmen.

Gillian laughed, caressing Ashley’s thick dark brown hair, so like Devlin’s in color and texture. She gazed into the baby’s gorgeous blue eyes, which were alert and bright and framed by dark lashes and well-shaped brows. Just like Dev’s.

Ashley was a pretty baby who would grow into a strikingly attractive woman, her good looks her father’s legacy to the daughter he would never know. From the moment she’d realized she was pregnant, just a week after engineering her preemptive breakup with Devlin, Gillian had been convinced secrecy was her only option.

But now—

A knock sounded at the door, abruptly ending their laughter.

“What if it’s him?” whispered Mark.

“We’ll deal with it,” Gillian said firmly.

She started to the door, Ashley in her arms. “We can’t sit in here cowering every time there is a knock at the door.”

Brave words, but her heartbeat was hammering in her ears. When she opened the door to see Dev, his brother-in-law, and a beautiful young brunette standing between them, her pulses speeded into overdrive.

“Hi.” Devlin smiled at her.

Gillian immediately recognized his social smile, the one he bestowed on the public at large. Having once been the recipient of his private, intimate smiles, she could tell the difference and felt oddly cheated by this impersonal one.

“We’re taking a break and going out for a late lunch,” said Dev. “Would you like to join us?”

“You’re all invited,” Cade said heartily, his gaze sweeping the room. “My treat.”

Gillian cast a questioning glance at Devlin.

“My brother-in-law is a real neighborly sort of guy,” Dev drawled. “Even toward my neighbors.”

“I’m Kylie Austin, Devlin’s sister.” The young woman spoke up, smiling at Gillian. “Your baby is adorable.”

“Thank you.” Gillian studied Kylie. Her resemblance to little Ashley was startling. The same coloring, the same delicate features, plus the distinctive dark Brennan hair and blue eyes. It wasn’t hard to imagine Ashley looking like her aunt Kylie when she was all grown up. “It’s nice to meet you,” Gillian said politely. “And thanks for the invitation, but we’ve already eaten ”

“Is there anything you need?” Cade persisted. “From the store for the baby?”

Gillian looked at him, feeling a sickening wave of anxiety chum within her as she observed Cade staring fixedly at Ashley. It was as if he knew! But he couldn’t be aware of her baby’s relationship to Devlin Brennan, she silently argued. Dev himself didn’t know.

“We don’t need anything.” Gillian knew she sounded nervous and tried to cover it by smiling widely. “But thank you for asking. I appreciate neighborliness.” Her face felt as if it might crack, her smile was so wide. “Uh, goodbye.”

She started to close the door. To her relief, Kylie and Cade started to walk toward the elevator But not Devlin.

“Gillian.” He angled his way to stand in the doorjamb.

“What?” She hadn’t meant to snap, but that’s how it came out.

“I feel I should explain.” Devlin smiled wryly. “My brother-in-law is one of those take-charge types who feels compelled to take charge of whoever he happens to be around. When he sees a young woman with a child, he feels he should offer them food or something, I guess.” He shrugged.

“You want to make it clear that this invitation wasn’t your idea? Duly noted.” His insouciance vexed her, though she knew she should be feeling relieved. Whatever Cade Austin’s suspicions, Dev clearly had none. Gillian sucked in her cheeks. “I don’t need anything from you or your brother-in-law.”

She started to close the door, despite Devlin’s solid presence there. Perversely, he didn’t move, not even when the edge of the door was touching him.

“I’m trying to close this door,” Gillian said crossly.

“I noticed.” Dev crossed his arms and relaxed against the frame, as if oblivious to the door pressing against him. “I wonder how determined you are. Will you give up and wait for me to leave? Or are you going to try to slam the door shut with me in it?”

“Gillian is not a violent person,” Mark piped up. “Never fear, she won’t close you in the door.”