Afterworlds: The Book of Doom

THANK YOU FOR YOUR BUSINESS.

Beneath that was a phone number. Zac ripped the card in half before dropping it into his wastepaper bin.

“Where are your posters?” asked Angelo.

“I don’t have posters,” Zac answered.

“Why don’t you have any posters?”

“I just don’t.”

Zac pulled off the long-sleeved T-shirt and tossed it into the corner of the room. Then he crossed to his chest of drawers, pulled out another identical piece of clothing, and slipped it on.

“Posters help cheer up a room,” Angelo continued. “Your room doesn’t look very cheerful. It’s gloomy. It’s a gloomy roomy.” He laughed. “Gloomy roomy. I bet it’s not easy to say that five times fast.”

“What are—?”

“Gloomyroomy gloomyroomy gloomyroomy gloomyroomy gloomyroomy,” Angelo blurted. “Oh no, it is quite easy, actually.” He looked around the room. “Anyway, you should definitely get some posters.”

“Will you stop going on about the posters?” Zac sighed. “I don’t like them, OK? They’re childish.”

“Gee whizz, OK. I was only saying,” Angelo mumbled. His eyes fell on the bookcase, which Zac was now shoving out of the way of the door. “Got any Hulk comics? Or are they childish as well?”

“No, I don’t, and yes, they are,” Zac said. “I’m going to make sure my granddad’s OK. Wait here.”

“Why do I have to—?”

“Just... just wait here, OK?”

Angelo opened his mouth, closed it again, then sat down on the bed. “I’ll wait here,” he said. “But don’t be long. I get panic attacks.”

“Surprise, surprise,” muttered Zac, as he left the bedroom and pulled the door closed behind him.

He met his grandfather halfway down the stairs. Phillip was walking up slowly, an iron poker held in his withered hands.

“Oh, you’re all right,” the old man said, visibly relieved. He lowered the poker to his side. “I heard a bang; what was that bang?”

“When?” asked Zac.

“A few seconds ago. Loud, it was. BANG! Like a gunshot.”

A few seconds? Zac thought. So, he must’ve come back just moments after the Monk had shot him.

“Didn’t hear anything,” Zac said. “Maybe it was something outside. Come on, let’s go downstairs.”

“Are you sure you didn’t hear anything?” Phillip asked, allowing himself to be led back down into the hall. “Because it sounded like a gunshot...”

“Car backfiring, probably,” Zac said with a practised shrug. “Nothing to worry about.”

They reached the bottom of the stairs and Zac ushered his granddad through into the sitting room. It was a mess of mismatched furniture that had been accumulated over decades, with no attempt made to tie any of it together.

“Sit down, Granddad, I need to talk to you,” Zac said. He took a seat on a red-and-green floral patterned sofa, while Phillip creaked down into a beige armchair.

“What is it, Zac? Is... is something wrong?”

Another voice spoke before Zac could. “Sorry. I had to come down.”

Zac and his grandfather looked over at the door. Angelo stood there, chewing on a fingernail and bouncing uncomfortably from foot to foot.

“I told you to wait,” Zac said.

“I know, but, well... I think I need the toilet.”

“You think you need the toilet?”

Angelo nodded. “Yes. But I’m not sure. I’ve never needed the toilet before. It must be to do with being on Earth.” His hopping became more frantic. “Yep, I’m almost sure I need the toilet.”

“Well go, then!”

There was a pause. Angelo stopped hopping. Zac watched in slowly dawning horror as Angelo’s white shorts turned slightly yellow at the crotch.

“Wow. That helped a lot,” Angelo said. “That’s much more comfortable. Thanks!”

Zac got to his feet. “I didn’t mean go right there! I meant go to...” He saw only puzzlement on Angelo’s face. “I meant go to the bathroom, not wet yourself.”

“Oh.”

Zac sighed. “Jesus.”

“Where?” asked Angelo, his eyes widening with excitement.

“No, not... not...” Zac pinched the bridge of his nose. “Look, never mind, just go back upstairs and we’ll find you more clothes.”

“OK,” said Angelo brightly. He moved to leave, then hesitated. “Oh, by the way, your goldfish is going crazy.”

“Yes. It does that.”

“Hello,” said Phillip, who had been trying to follow the conversation that had just taken place, but failing miserably. “Are you Penelope?”

“No. I’m Angelo.”

Phillip looked disappointed. “Oh. I thought you were Penelope. She’s been banging on at me all night, telling me her cat’s sick, but what’s that got to do with me? What do I know about cats? Nothing. Hear that, Penelope?” he said, raising his voice. “I don’t know the first thing about cats.”

“OK, then!” said Angelo, shooting Zac a glance. “I’ll just go and get changed. Nice meeting you, sir.”

“Nice meeting you too, Angelo,” Phillip replied. He waited until the boy had left the room, before adding: “He seems nice. Who is he?”

“No one,” said Zac hurriedly. “He’s just... a friend.”