The Voyage of Captain Popanilla

They accordingly entered a shop where such an article might be found, and taking up a small sack, for Popanilla was very rich, his companion inquired its price, which he was informed was four crowns. No sooner had the desired information been given than the proprietor of the opposite shop rushed in, and offered him the same article for three crowns. The original merchant, not at all surprised at the intrusion, and not the least apologising for his former extortion, then demanded two. His rival, being more than his match, he courteously dropped upon his knee, and requested his customer to accept the article gratis, for his sake. The generous dealer would infallibly have carried the day, had not his rival humbly supplicated the purchaser not only to receive his article as a gift, but also the compliment of a crown inside.

‘What a terrible cheat the first merchant must have been!’ said the puzzled Popanilla, as they proceeded on their way.

‘By no means!’ said his calm companion; ‘the purse was sufficiently, cheap even at four crowns. This is not Cheatery; this is Competition!’

‘What a wonderful nation, then, this must be, where you not only get purses gratis but even well loaded! What use, then, is all this heavy gold? It is a tremendous trouble to carry; I will empty the bag into this kennel, for money surely can be of no use in a city where, when in want of cash, you have only to go into a shop and buy a purse!’

‘Your pardon!’ said his companion; ‘far from this being the case, Vraibleusia is, without doubt, the dearest country in the world.’

‘If, then,’ said the inquisitive Popanilla, with great animation, ‘if, then, this country be the dearest in the world; if, how—’

‘My good friend!’ said his companion, ‘I really am the last person in the world to answer questions. All that I know is, that this country is extremely dear, and that the only way to get things cheap is to encourage Competition.’

Here the progress of his companion was impeded for some time by a great crowd, which had assembled to catch a glimpse of a man who was to fly off a steeple, but who had not yet arrived. A chimney-sweeper observed to a scientific friend that probably the density of the atmosphere might prevent the intended volitation; and Popanilla, who, having read almost as many pamphlets as the observer, now felt quite at home, exceedingly admired the observation.

‘He must be a very superior man, this gentleman in black!’ said Popanilla to his companion.

‘By no means! he is of the lowest class in society. But you are probably not aware that you are in the most educated country in the world.’

‘Delightful!’ said Popanilla.

The Captain was exceedingly desirous of witnessing the flight of the Vraibleusian Daedalus, but his friend advised their progress. This, however, was not easy; and Popanilla, animated for the moment by his natural aristocratic disposition, and emboldened by his superior size and strength, began to clear his way in a manner which was more cogent than logical. The chimney-sweeper and his comrades were soon in arms, and Popanilla would certainly have been killed or ducked by this superior man and his friends, had it not been for the mild remonstrance of his conductor and the singular appearance of his costume.

‘What could have induced you to be so imprudent?’ said his rescuer, when they had escaped from the crowd.

‘Truly,’ said Popanilla, ‘I thought that in a country where you may bastinado the wretch who presumes to ask you for alms, there could surely be no objection to my knocking down the scoundrel who dared to stand in my way.’

‘By no means!’ said his friend, slightly elevating his eye-brows. ‘Here all men are equal. You are probably not aware that you are at present in the freest country in the world.’

‘I do not exactly understand you; what is this freedom?’

‘My good friend, I really am the last person in the world to answer questions. Freedom is, in one word, Liberty: a kind of thing which you foreigners never can understand, and which mere theory can make no man understand. When you have been in the island a few weeks all will be quite clear to you. In the meantime, do as others do, and never knock men down!’

CHAPTER 7

‘Although we are yet some way from our hotel,’ remarked Popanilla’s conductor, ‘we have now arrived at a part of the city where I can ease you, without difficulty, from your troublesome burthen; let us enter here!’

As he spoke, they stopped before a splendid palace, and proceeding through various halls full of individuals apparently intently busied, the companions were at last ushered into an apartment of smaller size, but of more elegant character. A personage of prepossessing appearance was lolling on a couch of an appearance equally prepossessing. Before him, on a table, were some papers, exquisite fruits, and some liqueurs. Popanilla was presented, and received with fascinating complaisance. His friend stated the object of their visit, and handed the sackful of gold to the gentleman on the sofa. The gentleman on the sofa ordered a couple of attendants to ascertain its contents. While this computation was going on he amused his guests by his lively conversation, and charmed Popanilla by his polished manners and easy civility. He offered him, during his stay in Vraibleusia, the use of a couple of equipages, a villa, and an opera-box; insisted upon sending to his hotel some pine-apples and some rare wine, and gave him a perpetual ticket to his picture-gallery. When his attendants had concluded their calculation, he ordered them to place Popanilla’s precious metal in his treasury; and then, presenting the Captain with a small packet of pink shells, he kindly inquired whether he could be of any further use to him. Popanilla was loth to retire without his gold, of the utility of which, in spite of the convenience of competition, he seemed to possess an instinctive conception; but as his friend rose and withdrew, he could do nothing less than accompany him; for, having now known him nearly half a day, his confidence in his honour and integrity was naturally unbounded.

‘That was the King, of course?’ said Popanilla, when they were fairly out of the palace.

‘The King!’ said the unknown, nearly surprised into an exclamation; ‘by no means!’

‘And what then?’

‘My good friend! is it possible that you have no bankers in your country?’

‘Yes, it is very possible; but we have mermaids, who also give us shells which are pretty. What then are your bankers?’

‘Really, my good friend, that is a question which I never remember having been asked before; but a banker is a man who keeps our money for us.’

‘Ah! and he is bound, I suppose, to return your money, when you choose?’

‘Most assuredly!’

‘He is, then, in fact, your servant: you must pay him handsomely, for him to live so well?’

‘By no means! we pay him nothing.’

‘That is droll; he must be very rich then?’

‘Really, my dear friend, I cannot say. Why, yes! I—I suppose he may be very rich!’

‘Tis singular that a rich man should take so much trouble for others!’

‘My good friend! of course he lives by his trouble.’

‘Ah! How, then,’ continued the inquisitive Fantaisian, ‘if you do not pay him for his services, and he yet lives by them; how, I pray, does he acquire these immense riches?’

‘Really, my good sir, I am, in truth, the very last man in the world to answer questions: he is a banker; bankers are always rich; but why they are, or how they are, I really never had time to inquire. But I suppose, if the truth were known, they must have very great opportunities.’

‘Ah! I begin to see,’ said Popanilla. ‘It was really very kind of him,’ continued the Captain, ‘to make me a present of these little pink shells: what would I not give to turn them into a necklace, and send it to a certain person at Fantaisie!’

‘It would be a very expensive necklace,’ observed his companion, almost surprised. ‘I had no idea, I confess, from your appearance, that in your country they indulged in such expensive tastes in costume.’

‘Expensive!’ said Popanilla. ‘We certainly have no such shells as these in Fantaisie; but we have much more beautiful ones. I should think, from their look, they must be rather common.’

His conductor for the first time nearly laughed. ‘I forgot,’ said he, ‘that you could not be aware that these pink shells are the most precious coin of the land, compared with which those bits of gold with which you have recently parted are nothing; your whole fortune is now in that little packet. The fact is,’ continued the unknown, making an effort to communicate, ‘although we possess in this country more of the precious metals than all the rest of the world together, the quantity is nevertheless utterly disproportioned to the magnitude of our wealth and our wants. We have been, therefore, under the necessity of resorting to other means of representing the first and supplying the second; and, taking advantage of our insular situation, we have introduced these small pink shells, which abound all round the coast. Being much more convenient to carry, they are in general circulation, and no genteel person has ever anything else in his pocket.’

‘Wonderful! But surely, then, it is no very difficult thing in this country to accumulate a fortune, since all that is necessary to give you every luxury of life is a stroll one morning of your existence along the beach?’

‘By no means, my friend! you are really too rapid. The fact is, that no one has the power of originally circulating these shells but our Government; and if any one, by any chance, choose to violate this arrangement, we make up for depriving him of his solitary walks on the shore by instant submersion in the sea.’

‘Then the whole circulation of the country is at the mercy of your Government?’ remarked Popanilla, summoning to his recollection the contents of one of those shipwrecked brochures which had exercised so strange an influence on his destiny. ‘Suppose they do not choose to issue?’

‘That is always guarded against. The mere quarterly payments of interest upon our national debt will secure an ample supply.’

‘Debt! I thought you were the richest nation in the world?’

‘Tis true; nevertheless, if there were a golden pyramid with a base as big as the whole earth and an apex touching the heavens, it would not supply us with sufficient metal to satisfy our creditors.’

‘But, my dear sir,’ exclaimed the perplexed Popanilla, ‘if this really be true, how then can you be said to be the richest nation in the world?’

‘It is very simple. The annual interest upon our debt exceeds the whole wealth of the rest of the world; therefore we must be the richest nation in the world.’

‘Tis true,’ said Popanilla; ‘I see I have yet much to learn. But with regard to these pink shells, how can you possibly create for them a certain standard of value? It is merely agreement among yourselves that fixes any value to them.’

‘By no means! you are so rapid! Each shell is immediately convertible into gold; of which metal, let me again remind you, we possess more than any other nation; but which, indeed, we only keep as a sort of dress coin, chiefly to indulge the prejudices of foreigners.’