Beg To Die

“They want you to keep Jamie Upton away from her, don’t they?”

Caleb nodded. “I told Sloan I’d do what I could, but if Jazzy wants to entertain the bastard in her apartment late at night, what am I supposed to do?”

“You’re supposed to go up there and run his ass off. That’s what you’re supposed to do. She doesn’t love him anymore. She honest to God wants things over with once and for all. But he keeps coming around and…well, Jamie’s just a bad habit she’s had a hard time breaking.”

Caleb leaned across the bar and planted a kiss on Lacy’s cheek.

“What was that for?” she asked.

“For being Jazzy’s friend.”

Jazzy looked directly at Laura Willis, rose slowly from her chair, and said, “Yes, of course, please come in.”

Laura entered the cluttered office, looking totally out of place. Jamie’s fiancée was a slender, delicate girl with luminous blue eyes and golden blond hair. The fairy princess type, Jazzy thought. But there was a fragility to the young woman—a hint of it was apparent in not only her pale, delicate appearance, but in the way she moved and talked.

“I told Jamie and my parents I was going to the ladies’ room,” Laura said in a soft, hushed voice.

“What did you want to speak to me about?” Jazzy asked, even though she had a really good idea. What else did the two of them have in common other than Jamie Upton?

“I—I know Jamie came to see you last night—”

“Look, Ms. Willis, I can assure you that—”

“He told me why he left our party and went directly to you. He explained that he felt last night—when we officially announced to the world that we’re to be married—was the right time to say his good-byes to you, once and for all.”

“Oh, yes, of course.” Why was she surprised that Jamie had lied to this girl? She shouldn’t have been. And why was she surprised that Laura Willis had believed him? Hadn’t Jamie talked his way back into Jazzy’s life time and time again, always with promises that he never kept?

“I’m well aware of your relationship with Jamie, that the two of you are…were lovers.” Laura stayed close to the open door, as if she thought she might have to flee at any moment. “And I know there have been others. But Jamie wants our marriage to work. He loves me and I love him.”

He doesn’t love you, Jazzy wanted to say. Jamie isn’t capable of loving anyone except himself. But you love him, don’t you, you poor girl? He’s going to break your heart the way he broke mine, and it doesn’t really matter that you’ll be Mrs. Jamie Upton. He’ll never be faithful to you. It’s not in his nature.

“I wish you well,” Jazzy said. “I hope you’ll be very happy.”

“I believe we will be, that we can be if…” Laura’s cheeks flushed. “Please, Ms. Talbot, let him go. Don’t hold on to him. If he remains tied to you, in any way, he’ll never be able to commit himself fully to me, to our marriage. Please, please…set him free.”

Undoubtedly Jamie had told his fiancée that Jazzy was pursuing him and not the other way around. That, too, shouldn’t have surprised her.

“You love him enough to forgive him for everything, don’t you?” Jazzy understood all too well that kind of foolish love.

“I know you love him, too, but he loves me now. He wants to marry me. I’m sorry if—”

Jazzy held up a restraining hand. “No, it’s all right. I promise you that I will never pursue Jamie again. I did set him free. Last night.” Only a little white lie, Jazzy thought. “He’s all yours. You have nothing to fear from me.”

Tears glistened in Laura’s eyes. She swallowed, then smiled weakly. “I’ll be a good wife to Jamie. I’ll do everything I can to make him happy.”

“Yes, I’m sure you will. He’s a very lucky man to have someone like you.”

“Thank you, Ms. Talbot. Thank you.” Biting down on her lower lip in an obvious effort not to burst into tears, Laura continued smiling as she nodded her head, then turned and all but ran from Jazzy’s office.

Jazzy sank down on the edge of her desk, took a deep, cleansing breath, and exhaled. She felt like crying herself. Odd, she thought, but she had truly meant what she’d said to Laura. Jamie was lucky to have someone like her love him. But Laura was very unlucky. It would take a miracle for Jamie Upton to change, to become the kind of man who could be faithful to one woman. And in that one moment, Jazzy experienced some sort of epiphany. She had seen herself in Laura, looked right in the face of hopeless, ill-fated love, and knew that but by the grace of God, she might be in Laura’s shoes. How many years had she longed to be Jamie’s wife? She had blamed Jamie’s grandmother for keeping them apart. She had railed at cruel fate. She had made countless excuses for Jamie’s behavior and kept on loving him, forgiving him, accepting him back into her life.

“Oh, God, if I had married Jamie when I was a teenager or even a few years ago, it would have been the biggest mistake of my life.” Tears gathered in the corners of Jazzy’s eyes as the hard, bitter truth hit her like a ton of bricks.

Jamie would have married her, but never been faithful. He would have lied to her day after day and betrayed her in every way possible. Why had she ever thought that marriage would have solved their problems? Jamie was the problem. He always had been. Marriage to him would have changed nothing.

Okay, so maybe mentally she’d known this fact for quite some time, but never before had her heart accepted it. For the first time since she’d fallen head over heels in love at sixteen, she faced the truth emotionally.

Please, please…set him free. Laura Willis’s words replayed themselves in her mind. Over and over again.

But it wasn’t Jamie she needed to set free. It never had been. She was the one she needed to set free. Now she could. Now she had.

Jazzy hugged herself as tears trickled down her cheeks. She laughed aloud, the sound reverberating inside her head, the sweetest music she’d ever heard.

She was free. Free of Jamie Upton. He could never hurt her again.

Chapter 7 (#ulink_69c9536f-f7c1-539b-900b-2480aad4857b)

Jazzy slipped into her fleece jacket, a light protection against the nighttime chill so prevalent in the mountains during the early spring. She’d leave Jasmine’s in Tiffany’s capable hands for the rest of the evening and go where she really wanted to be tonight—at Jazzy’s Joint next door, with a loud, boisterous crowd of funloving folks. And with Caleb McCord. She’d kept the guy at arm’s length for several months now for a couple of very good reasons. First and foremost, she hadn’t wanted to use him to try to get Jamie out of her system. She had done that in the past and had broken a couple of hearts in the process. Secondly, she had wanted to protect herself by not getting involved with a man she knew she could probably care a lot about if she gave herself half a chance. She’d never truly been in love with anyone other than Jamie, and he’d been nothing but a heartache. Even though Genny had predicted a new love for her, a man who would make her happy, Jazzy wasn’t sure she could ever trust love again. But that didn’t mean she couldn’t explore the possibilities, did it?

Feeling as if a heavy weight had been lifted from her heart and from her shoulders, Jazzy smiled to herself as she left her office. Maybe it was already too late for a chance with Caleb. Maybe he’d already gotten sick and tired of waiting for her. She really couldn’t blame him if he told her she was offering him too little, too late.

Only a few steps into the hallway, she ran into a woman she instantly recognized as the small, blonde lady who had been frequenting Jasmine’s for the past few weeks. Startled by Jazzy’s appearance in the dimly lit corridor, the woman gasped and jumped simultaneously.

“May I help you?” Jazzy asked.

“Yes, I—I’m looking for the ladies’ room.”

“You went right past it,” Jazzy said. “It’s the first door on the left.”

“How silly of me to walk past it. Thank you.”

When the woman turned around, Jazzy called to her. “Hey, I’m Jazzy Talbot, the owner of Jasmine’s. I’ve seen you here several times. Welcome to Cherokee Pointe. I hope you’re enjoying your stay.”

The woman paused, glanced over her shoulder and smiled. “Yes, this is a lovely town. I’m planning on staying a while longer.”

When the woman started walking away, Jazzy followed her, then moved on past her when she entered the restroom. Just as the woman entered, Erin Mercer exited.

“How are you tonight, Ms. Mercer?” Jazzy asked.

“Just fine. How about you?”

“Better than I’ve been in a long time. Thank you for asking.”

When Jazzy turned toward the door leading out into the alley, Erin asked, “Are you leaving for the night?”

“Going next door to Jazzy’s Joint to check on things there.”

“See you around.” Erin studied Jazzy briefly, then returned to her table in the restaurant.