The Perfect Wife

Jessie nodded. The doctor continued.

“Okay. We also discussed you sharing that with your husband, letting him know why you wake up in a cold sweat several times a week. Have you done that?”

“No,” Jessie admitted guiltily.

“I know you’re concerned about how he’ll react. But we talked about how telling him the truth about your past might help you deal with it more effectively and bring the two of you closer together.”

“Or it could tear us apart,” Jessie countered. “I understand what you’re saying, Doctor. But there’s a reason so few people know about my personal history. It’s not warm and fuzzy. Most people can’t handle it. You only know because I did research on your background and determined that you had specific training and experience with this kind of thing. I sought you out and let you into my head because I knew you could handle it.”

“Your husband has known you for almost a decade. You don’t think he can handle it?”

“I think a seasoned professional like you had to use every ounce of restraint and empathy you had not to run out of the room screaming when I told you. How do you think a regular dude from suburban Southern California is going to react?”

“I don’t know Kyle so I couldn’t say,” Dr. Lemmon replied. “But if you’re planning to start a family with him—spend the rest of your life with him—you might want to consider whether you can realistically wall off a whole chunk of it from him.”

“I’ll take it under consideration,” Jessie said noncommittally.

She could sense that Dr. Lemmon understood that she wasn’t going to engage on the topic anymore.

“So let’s talk medication,” the doctor said, changing subjects. “I have a few suggestions for alternatives now that you’re planning to get pregnant.”

Jessie stared at Dr. Lemmon, watching her mouth move. But try as she might, she couldn’t concentrate. The words drifted by as her thoughts returned to those dark woods from her childhood, the ones that haunted her dreams.

CHAPTER EIGHT

Jessie lay in bed, tangled up in the sheets, trying to ignore the sunlight poking at her eyes through the open slit in the bedroom curtains.

It was her first Saturday morning in this house and she wanted it to be a lazy one, just her and Kyle, casually opening boxes, sipping coffee, making love. Yesterday had been a good day. Professor Hosta had sent her an email letting her know she’d get to visit NRD for the first time next week. She’d had a great run all the way down to the harbor and back. It was the first chance she’d gotten to really get some exercise and clear her head since they’d moved and she felt energized and hopeful. Kyle didn’t have to go into the office so they had the whole weekend free.

She heard movement and reluctantly opened her eyes. Kyle was walking into the room with a coffee mug in each hand. She stretched happily and sat up.

“My hero,” she said as she took the one he handed her.

“Is that all it takes these days?” he asked.

“Ten thousand years ago I would have expected you to bag an elk or something. But these days, a strong cup of coffee makes you a mighty fine provider.”

“Well, I’m happy to meet my marital obligations.”

“There are a few other marital obligations I expect you to meet today, mister,” Jessie said, shimmying close to him.

“Oh yeah?” he said, playing dumb. “Like what?”

“Like ravaging me…once I’ve brushed my teeth; like finally unpacking that box of china in the dining room; like having your way with me again; like taking me to lunch and a movie to get out of this heat—maybe back in the old neighborhood; like coming back home for a quickie before ordering takeout and cuddling up on the couch to binge the rest of Killing Eve. How does that sound for a perfect Saturday?”

The look on his face suggested he didn’t consider it a perfect plan.

“The first part sounds good,” he said carefully. “But maybe we can rethink the evening plans.”

“Oh, is that show too scary for you, big man?” she asked, trying to keep her voice playful even though she sensed he was about to make that impossible.

“I think I can handle it,” he said, not playing along. “But maybe we do that another night. And maybe we have lunch around here.”

“But you know how I love the theater near LA Live.”

“Yeah, but that’s a long way to go for a movie. I think we should find a theater near here that can become your new favorite. After all, this is home now. You promised me you’d give Westport a real chance.”

Jessie, irked, was about to respond when she heard Dr. Lemmon’s voice in her head, reminding her to give Kyle the benefit of the doubt. Besides, she could tell he wasn’t done. Reluctantly, she bit her tongue as he continued.

“Also, I was hoping we could go to the club tonight. There were some other people who were excited to meet us and a bunch of them are going to be there this evening. It seems like the perfect chance to get to know some new people.”

“Why does all the social stuff we do have to center around this club?” Jessie asked. “We’re not even members there. Can’t we just join a book club or something?”

“I’m happy to join a book club too, Jess,” Kyle said, frustratingly calm. “But I don’t see the harm in going back to Club Deseo. The whole point of being here, at least partly, is to become part of a community. I felt really isolated in the city. Seeing friends was a challenge. Meeting new ones was even harder. There’s a ready-made community here, with people who are opening their arms to us. Our neighbors might actually become our friends. And a lot of them go to this club. It’s a social hub. Why would we intentionally cut ourselves off from that?”