Before He Harms

Watching her mother and Ellington shake hands was beyond surreal. And when Mackenzie saw Kevin studying the strange woman at their doorstep, her heart broke a bit. She had given something of an open invitation to her mother a little less than a year ago when she had gone out to Nebraska to tell her she was a grandmother. And it had taken her this long to take her up on it. To her credit, though, she had declined Mackenzie’s offer to pay for the plane fare.

“Come on in, Mom,” Mackenzie said.

Patricia White stepped into her daughter’s apartment as if she were entering some sort of cathedral—with reverence and respect. As soon as the door was closed behind her, she looked at Kevin and then, with tears in her eyes, back to Mackenzie.

“Can I hold him?”

“You’re his grandmother,” Mackenzie said. “Of course you can.”

When Ellington handed Kevin over, he did so without any hesitation. He was watching his mother-in-law’s expression of awe and gratitude with the same focus as Mackenzie. While Mackenzie was glad to see her mother holding Kevin, there was certainly something surreal about it all.

“He looks just like you,” Patricia said to her daughter.

“A good thing,” Ellington said with a chuckle.

Mackenzie led her mother deeper into her apartment, bringing her into the living room. They sat down together, Mackenzie and Ellington sharing a look over Patricia’s head as they settled down. Ellington gave her an I-told-you-so look which she returned with a scowl.

“You didn’t already check into a hotel, did you?” Mackenzie asked.

“I did. Already dropped my stuff off.” She never took her eyes away from Kevin as she spoke. Mackenzie wasn’t sure she had ever seen her mother smile so big in her life.

“You didn’t have to do that, Mom. I told you that you’re welcome to stay here.”

“I know,” she said, finally taking her eyes away from her grandson as she bounced him on her knee. “But you both have busy jobs and I didn’t want to get in the way. Besides, I have a hot tub in my room for tonight and some sightseeing to do tomorrow. I’ve never been to DC before, so…”

She stopped here, as if that ended the entire conversation. And as far as Mackenzie was concerned, it did.

“Well, dinner is just about ready,” Mackenzie said. “Another few minutes. The table is already set if we want to move in there.”

They did just that, Patricia taking Kevin with her as Ellington moved Kevin’s highchair to the edge of the dining table. As they all settled in, Ellington pouring wine for himself and Patricia, Mackenzie brought the dinner in bit by bit. She’d always had something of a knack for cooking, but she had to stick to simple things. Tonight’s offering was a simple four-ingredient rosemary-lemon chicken with potatoes and asparagus. Patricia looked as it as if this, too, surprised her.

“You know how to cook?” she asked.

“Somewhat. I’m not great.”

“She’s being modest,” Ellington said.

“She always was.”

And just like that, dinner began. The conversation was a bit awkward, but not painful. Ellington spent most of the time talking, letting Patricia know more about him: where he was raised, how long he’d been an agent, and his version of how his relationship with her daughter had started. Mackenzie was also surprised at how much it meant to her when her mother complimented her cooking. The entire time, Kevin sat in his highchair, eating little bits of chicken that Mackenzie cut off for him. He was getting quite good at feeding himself with his hands, but a good amount of food still ended up on the floor.

By the time everyone’s plate had been cleaned and the bottle of wine was empty, Mackenzie realized that there was a very good chance this was not going to be the train wreck she had feared. With dinner over, Ellington tidied up Kevin and gave him a few yogurt melts before clearing off the table. Mackenzie sat across from her mother while the sounds of Ellington filling the dishwasher came from the kitchen.

“I don’t suppose you’ve spoken with your sister lately?” Patricia said.

“No. The last time we spoke, you said she was in LA, right?”

“Yes. And if that’s changed, she hasn’t reached out to speak with me. I swear, it seems like she just became even more distant once you wrapped the case concerning your father. I never understood how she—”

She was interrupted by a knock at the apartment door…which was curious, because it was rare that she and Ellington ever got visitors.

“Babe, can you get that?” Ellington called from the kitchen. “I’m elbow-deep in dirty dishes.”

“One second, Mom,” Mackenzie said, getting up from the table. She gave Kevin a playful little tweak on the nose as she passed by. She was surprised at how well this was going. She might even dare say she was enjoying the visit. The afternoon was going remarkably well.

She answered the door with a slight spring her step. Yet, when she answered it, the spring snapped and the real world came roaring back toward her.

“Hello, Mackenzie,” said the woman at the door.

Mackenzie tried on a fake smile that didn’t quite fit. “Hey, E,” she called out over her shoulder. “Your mom is here.”

CHAPTER THREE

Mackenzie honestly had nothing against Frances Ellington. She’d been something of a saving grace when Mackenzie had gone back to work, stepping in and watching Kevin for them. It also didn’t hurt that Kevin loved his Grandma E very much. But the idea of having both grandmothers in the same place at the same time was incredibly unsettling. Mackenzie felt she knew both women well enough to know that it was the equivalent of pushing a powder keg down a hill where a raging fire was growing.

Slowly, timidly, Mackenzie led Frances into the dining room. The moment Kevin saw her, his face lit up and he held his arms out. Behind them, Ellington came into the room with a dumbfounded look on his face.

“Mom…what are you doing here?”

“I was in the neighborhood and thought I’d stop by to take you guys out to dinner, but it looks like I was a little late.”

“You would have known that if you’d called.”

Frances ignored her son, spotted Patricia sitting at the table, and flashed a huge smile. “I’m Frances Ellington, by the way.”

“And I’m Patricia White,” Patricia said. “It’s good to meet you.”

There was an incredibly tense silence that everyone could feel. It seemed even Kevin was taken aback, looking around the room to see if something was wrong. His eyes finally landed on Mackenzie and when she gave him a big smile, that seemed to be the end of it for him.

“Well, if we’re all going to be here, I may as well break out dessert,” Ellington said. “It’s not much, just an ice cream cake that was calling my name at the grocery store yesterday.”

“It sounds lovely,” Frances said as she sat down in the chair next to Kevin. Kevin gave her his undivided attention, his new grandmother now totally forgotten.

“Frances watches him from time to time,” Mackenzie explained to her mother. She hoped that simple statement was mindful because to Mackenzie’s ear, it sounded almost like an accusation. She keeps him from time to time because she chose to be a part of his life from the start. That’s how it sounded to Mackenzie.

Ellington brought in the cake and started slicing. When he gave Kevin a little piece, he responded by promptly slamming his hand down onto it and giggling. This elicited laughter from both grandmothers which, in turn, resulted in another attack on the cake from Kevin.

“Wait now,” Patricia said. “Isn’t he too young for cake like that?”

“No,” Mackenzie said. “Kevin loves ice cream.”

“I don’t remember ever giving you ice cream that young.”

Mackenzie thought, but did not dare say: I’m surprised you remember much of anything from my childhood.

“Oh yeah,” Frances said. “He especially loves strawberry ice cream. But not chocolate. You should see the yucky faces this kid makes when he tries anything chocolate.”

Mackenzie watched her mother’s face and saw the ghost of the woman she had once been. There was disappointment there, and a look of embarrassment. She instantly started to straighten her posture into a defensive stance and Mackenzie knew right away that things were going to get dicey if they continued on this way.