Cause to Kill

“Thanks,” Avery said.

“Why do you always ask about Dad?” Rose snapped when they were alone.

“Just curious.”

“If you’re so curious, why don’t you call him yourself?”

“Rose – ”

“Sorry,” she said. “I don’t know why I said that. You know what? I don’t even know why I’m here,” she lamented. “To be honest, Mom, I don’t know why youwant me here.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I’m seeing a therapist,” Rose said.

“Really? That’s great.”

“She says I have a lot of mommy issues.”

“Like what?”

“Like, you left us.”

“Rose, I never – ”

“Hold on,” Rose insisted, “please. Let me finish. Then you can talk, OK? You left. You handed custody over to Dad and you were gone. Do you have any idea how that destroyed me?”

“I have some idea – ”

“No, you don’t. I was like, super popular before that whole thing went down. Then, practically overnight, I’m the girl everyone has to stay away from. People teased me. Called me a murderer because my mom let off a killer. And I certainly couldn’t talk to you, my own mother. I needed you back then. I really did, but you practically abandoned me right then and there. You refused to talk to me, refused to talk about the case. Do you realize that everything I knew about you from that time, I learned from the papers?”

“Rose – ”

“And of course, there was no money,” Rose laughed with a flip of her hand. “We were broke after you lost your job. You never thought about that, did you? You went from a star attorney to a cop. Great move, Mom.”

“I had to do that,” Avery snapped back.

“We had nothing,” Rose insisted. “You can’t just start a new career over in the middle of your life. We had to move. Did you ever think about that? About how it would affect us?”

Avery sat back.

“Is this why you came here? To yell at me?”

“Why did you want to come here, Mom?”

“I wanted to reconnect, to see how you were, to talk to try and work things out.”

“Well, none of that is going to happen unless we get over this first, and I’m not over it. I’m just not.”

Rose shook her head and looked to the ceiling.

“You know? For years I thought you were a superstar. Incredible personality, big job, we lived in a great house, and it was like – wow – my mom is amazing. But then it all fell apart, and everything went along with it, the house, the job and you– most of all, you.”

“My whole life collapsed,” Avery said. “I was devastated.”

“I was your daughter,” Rose complained. “I was there too. You ignored me.”

“I’m here now,” Avery swore, “I’m here right now.”

The waiter came back.

“OK, ladies! Do we know what we want?”

Simultaneously, Avery and Rose yelled: “Not yet!”

“Whoa, OK. Why don’t you just flag me down when you’re ready.”

No one answered.

The waiter backed away and left.

Rose rubbed her face.

“It’s too soon,” she realized. “I’m sorry, Mom. But it’s too soon. You asked why I wanted to come here? Because I thought I was ready. I’m not.”

She edged out of her seat and stood up.

“Rose, please. Sit down. We just got here. I miss you. I want to talk.”

“It’s not about you, Mom. It was never just about you. Don’t you get that?”

“Give me another chance,” Avery said. “Let’s start over.”

Rose shook her head.

“I’m not ready yet. I’m sorry. I thought I was, but I’m not.”

She walked out.

“Rose! Rose!?”

CHAPTER TWENTY SIX

For a long time, Avery remained in the diner booth, alone. She ordered eggs and toast, a small salad, and a cup of coffee and just sat there, going over everything that had been said.

My daughter hates me, she realized.

More depressed than she’d been in years, she wanted to crawl in a hole and die. Instead, she paid the check and walked out.