“Because you’re the one I love,” she said, and turned on her heel to walk away.
“Wait a minute, Kate.”
She stopped, but didn’t turn back. He wanted to say the hell with Martin and just keep her here until they finished this discussion.
But the refinery was his top priority right now. He was torn. For the first time since he’d taken over Brody Oil and Gas, a woman was coming between him and his responsibilities.
“Not now, Lance.”
“You love me?”
“Yes,” she said. “And I have to decide if I still want to have an affair with my boss. Because when Stan knocked on that door, all the love I felt for you was embarrassing and I don’t want that.”
“You shouldn’t be embarrassed. Stan doesn’t know you were in here or what we were doing,” Lance said.
“But I do. And I’m the one who will bare the shame of it. I don’t want to feel ashamed of anything between us. I hadn’t before but then all of a sudden…”
Lance understood. He realized that he needed to make this relationship between them more permanent. But he couldn’t until he broke things off with Lexi. He’d hoped to do that face to face, but a phone call might have to do it.
He pulled her back into his arms and refused to let her go. “Kate, I’m not hiding you or ashamed of you.”
“I know that, Lance. But I have been hiding. I know half the office has always guessed that I was in love with you and now… well, now it seems like you just noticed me since I’m… sexy.”
He was proud of her for thinking she was sexy. It was a complete turn around for her.
“Well, you are sexy. But that’s not what this is about. Listen, I have to wrap things up with Lexi. Then you and I can—”
“What do you mean you have to wrap things up with her?” Kate asked.
“I haven’t had a chance to talk to her yet. It’s not a big deal.”
“Are you still engaged?” Kate asked.
“Not to my way of thinking,” Lance said.
Kate pulled away and put her hands on her hips. “To anyone’s way of thinking… are you engaged?”
Lance looked down at her. This night was certainly not going his way. But he hadn’t lied to Kate from the beginning and he wasn’t about to start now.
“Yes, I am still engaged.”
Her lip quivered and her face lost all color. “I can’t believe this. I’m an idiot.”
She turned on her heel and he stopped her once again. “You aren’t. I meant everything I said to you.”
“Really? Because the only way for that to be true is for me to be your mistress. Is that what you had in mind for us?”
“No,” he said.
Lance’s phone started ringing and he knew he had to answer it. Damn it. “This is not over, Kate.”
“Yes, Lance, it is.”
Nine (#ulink_9af8b0ea-7591-590d-ab28-abda2d799de4)
Kate looked down at the speedometer and realized she was driving way too fast. Anger had gotten the better of her, and she could still feel the flush of shame on her cheeks. She forced herself to slow down.
A part of her sort of understood where Lance was coming from. She got that he might be waiting to talk to Lexi in person to break their engagement. And if he felt for her even a tenth of what she did for him, then the emotions and the attraction would have been hard to resist, engaged or not.
But the main thing that was bothering her was her own reactions. She’d forgotten who she was. Her new clothes and hair and make-up had made her feel like she was a different person.
And it was only as she’d been standing in the corner of Lance’s office, trying to quickly get back into her clothes, that she’d realized she was making a mistake.
Love shouldn’t feel like this, she thought as she turned into the garage of her town house. She parked her car and went inside.
Love should be something to be celebrated and shared. And for so long she was used to her love for Lance being her dirty little secret. It hadn’t occurred to her that she’d allowed that to become the rule for their relationship. She’d been used to hiding it and had allowed herself to be hidden.
The last week had been wonderful but she realized tonight that she wanted more.
She looked at the bracelet he’d given her. She knew that he didn’t think less of her than he did before. But she had no idea what he really wanted from her. Did he just want to continue their affair until it ran its course?
And was she willing to keep working for him—and sleeping with him?
That was the problem with being a modern woman, she thought. The lines in these situations were blurred. And she didn’t know which way to turn.
She turned the air-conditioner down and walked through the house to the shower. She washed, wishing she could wipe away the memories of Lance’s body inside of hers, of that closeness that they’d had together for too short a time.
She put on a sundress and walked through her home. She’d decorated it with antiques that she and her mom had found in Canton up near Dallas, and with photos of her family. But there was nothing that was really hers in it, much like the new clothing had been window dressing for a person she wanted to be. This house was what she’d always imagined a city girl would have.
But she’d never made that city girl’s life her own. Now she wanted to. No, she needed to if she had even the slightest hope of surviving this love she had for Lance.
She didn’t know the depth of her love for him before this month. Now she loved the way he smiled at her when no one else could see them. She loved the way he went out of his way to surprise her and she loved the way he made her feel like she was it—the only woman in the world that he wanted to see and spend time with.
And that kind of love… well, it wasn’t going to go away. So she had to figure this out. Could she continue her affair with him while he was still engaged?
There was a knock on her door an hour later and she knew who it was without even looking through the peephole.
She unlocked the door and opened it, but stood in the doorway. “Lance.”
“Can I come in?”
She tipped her head to the side, considering it. He’d been to her place once before but never as her lover. All of their trysts—what an old-fashioned word, she thought—had taken place at Lance’s.
She decided to let him in. Obviously they needed to talk. “Sure. Is everything okay with the investigation?”
“Yes. Mr. Martin was getting some restless employees at the fire scene one he needed me to keep them clear.”
She led the way into her living room and heard him close the front door behind him. She sat down in the Kennedy rocker that had been her grandmother’s and took a sip of lemonade.